


Thank God for God Camp

by cursed_or_not



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Gay!Castiel, It's kind of a musical, M/M, Slow Burn, That was not my intention originally but it kind of turned into that, Underage Drinking, bisexual!dean, bottom!Castiel, mentions of domestic abuse, top!dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:21:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 48,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22262506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cursed_or_not/pseuds/cursed_or_not
Summary: Dean Winchester's adoptive parents, Ellen and Bobby Singer, are getting his younger brother, Sam, ready for confirmation now that he is in 10th grade when they find out that Dean was never confirmed.  Astonished by this, Ellen asks Dean to go through the religious education and community service that are required to complete the sacrament so that she can sleep at night.  Willing to do anything for his lovely mama, he agrees begrudgingly.  He is not excited about this in the slightest, until he meets Castiel, a beautiful boy who is stuck in the same religious ed class as him.  Maybe God Camp won't be so bad after all.Smut will come.  Give it time ;)
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Ellen Harvelle/Bobby Singer, Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester, John Winchester/Mary Winchester
Comments: 32
Kudos: 31





	1. Do I Really Have to do it, Mama?

**Author's Note:**

> A few things.  
> Firstly, this is only my second fic, so please feel free to leave comments and criticisms so I can improve and continue if it goes well!  
> Secondly, for those of you who aren't catholic, confirmation is the part of your religious upbringing where you officially declare that you are choosing the catholic faith. Everyone that who grew up in a catholic household has to do this around 16, although you can do it at any time. Almost no one actually wants to do it, but we're all forced by our parents even the whole point is that it is your decision. In order to be confirmed though you have to complete a specific number of hours in religious education as well as go on a weekend long retreat beforehand.  
> Thirdly, I know that Catholicism has a lot of fucked up things about it. I grew up catholic and know it's "a fucked up organization" to quote John Mulaney's wife (we stan), but I promise it's not gonna be about that. This is supposed to be wholesome. There isn't gonna be any homophobia in this bitch.  
> Finally, I intend on making this a long one, so it's gonna take a while to finish. I'm gonna try and do as much as I can in one sitting but a bitch has to sleep sometime.  
> Enjoy!

Dean loved being a part of the Singer family. Even though he missed his mom and his dad terribly, being welcomed with open arms by people who have always been your family will always be something that he was thankful for, and he knew he was basically blood even if they didn't share genes. Yes, there were plenty of things to get used to in this house. The fact that they went to church every Sunday, without fail, the fact that Dean had to actually dress up for that occasion every Sunday, how much more difficult is was to get along with Jo and her moodiness when they were living together constantly, and the fact that Ellen would go into his room and clean when he wasn't home. Phones were not allowed at the table, grace was always said before every meal, and every Sunday there was family day after church where there were no phones and a lot of board games. It was a lot of change, but it was nice. Family time was important to Bobby and Ellen and even though it meant he got a little less screen time, it really helped him feel more and more connected to the people in this house. 

Even though Dean was in college now, he still made sure to be there every Sunday, especially since he only went to school a half hour away so there was no excuse to not be there. Ellen always made sure to give Dean money for the gas that was used up coming home every weekend because it was important that he "keep his relationship with the big man as well as his mama." The two of them were in the impala on the way over. Sam had asked Dean to pick him up from his friends house since he was already on the road. Dean's head was pounding something fierce from the hangover he was rocking, and Sam was elbow deep his sociology textbook.

"Damn, I really hope that the organist is sick today." Dean grumbled. "That shit always seems to drive right through my ear drums and into my soul." 

Sam huffed a quick laugh out of his nose and looked up at Dean with a small smile. "You're praying that an old lady is sick because you were too stupid to watch your own drinking habits last night?" Sam shook his head, but kept laughing anyway. "That's fucked up, man."

"Don't judge me, Sam! I love Mrs. Butterfield! She makes the best chocolate chip cookies in Kansas, but I can only handle so much of the world's loudest instrument." Dean squinted his eyes as the sun glared directly into them. He hadn't even turned on the radio during the whole drive out of fear that his headache would worsen. 

Dean pulled up to the curb in front of the house. Closing his eyes tight and preparing himself to look as awake as possible to avoid his family picking fun at him for the rest of the day. He opened his door and stretched until he pulled a muscle and joined Sam as he opened the front door.

"Mama!" Sam bellowed out to Ellen with a smirk, making direct eye contact with Dean while he watched his brother wince and cover his ears, "We're home!"

"Screw you, Sammy." Dean muttered as he threw his hands down from his ears in frustration. Suddenly, he heard the sound of multiple footsteps from upstairs making their way towards the two of them in the living room. Ellen raced down with her one hand holding the curling iron to her hair, and the other opened wide to greet her boys in a big hug.

"Oh, hello my handsome boys!" She squeezed them both individually as Jo ran up behind her with only one shoe on. 

"Did either of you see my other heel in between the doors?" she asked, sounding rushed. "I can't fucking find it."

Dean opened his mouth to say that he didn't see it, but instead he heard Bobby's voice come from the kitchen. "Joanna Beth, do you really think it's wise to be cussing this close to leaving for church?" Jo rolled her eyes in exasperation as he continued, "Anyway, your other heel is in here by the washer." Jo's eyes lit up and she ran into the other room to find it. 

Ellen laughed and then looked back at the two of them, "Alright guys, go on upstairs and get your clothes on. We're leaving in ten minutes!" She retreated back upstairs as she let a piece of hair out from her curling iron and tripped a little on the second step. The boys followed and walked into their rooms.

Dean opened his closet to find his dress shirts organized and ironed perfectly. Evidence that Ellen had once again struggled to let Dean's room remain a mess. He chuckled at his lovable control freak as he chose the light blue shirt and grabbed his black dress pants as well. He heard a small knock on his door and told whoever it was to come on in since he was decent still. Sam opened the door and Dean looked down to see Sam in his church clothes with his tie wrapped around his neck like a scarf. Sam shut the door again behind him and asked defeated, "Can you do my tie, please?"

Dean snorted and walked over to Sam to help, "You would think after all these Sundays you would have learned how to tie a tie by now."

Sam shrugged, "Well, you and Jess both know how to do it, so why bother learning?"

"I love the logic there, kid." Dean finished up by tightening the tie just tight enough that Sam wouldn't be uncomfortable.

"Hey, Dean?" Sam started, "When are you going to be done for the year? Like do you think you'll be home on May 15th?"

Dean thought about it for a minute. He had no clue. He had only been at school for a month, the end of the year seemed a million miles away. "I think I heard Benny say at some point that we finish in early May, but I'm not 100% sure. Why are you asking?" 

"Well I-"

Sam was interrupted by the door being shoved open, and Jo walked up to Dean's dresser and grabbed his deodorant, quickly putting it on. "C'mon, ladies. We gotta go." she quipped before walking out of the room and walking down the stairs.

Dean followed her as he stumbled trying to put on his dress shoes at the same time, "HEY! Can you use your own stuff for once?"

\---

Mass passed by relatively quickly that day. Much to Dean's frustration, Mrs. Butterfield was there after all. The organ somehow managed to get even louder than it had been last weekend. The first clang of the gathering hymn was so loud it made him jump out of his skin, and he heard his younger brother snicker from the other side of pew. Dean made sure to trip him a little bit on their way out.

The family rolled into the parking lot of their favorite diner as they did every Sunday after church, and fell out of the tiny family car like a bunch of clowns arriving at the circus. They walked as a clan to their normal table in the back, and of course, Dean's best friend and Patrick's Diner waitress extraordinaire, Charlie waited on them as she always does. She brought them their usual drinks and then went sprinting down across the restaurant. She had a splash of powdered sugar on her cheek and a pen shoved somewhere in her bun as she rushed around. "Hello my beautiful Singers!", she called out, "I'll be over to talk in a second!"

Dean laughed and yelled back, "I'm glad I'm not the only one who's struggling after last night." 

Ellen leaned over and smacked Dean on the arm as she sat down, "Dean Winchester, you leave that cute little girl alone. She doesn't need her boss to hear about the bottle of whiskey you two shared last night."

Dean sighed, "I wish it was just whiskey. I'm pretty sure tequila made an entrance at some point." He shuddered at the memory. 

Bobby snorted, "Jesus Christ, son.", as he handed Dean two Advil for him to swallow. 

"You're a good man, Pops." Dean took the pills and slapped Bobby on the back. 

Charlie finally returned, sugar still on her face, but energy majorly shifted. She smiled and took a breath before taking their orders. Ellen ordered an omelet and so did Sam. Bobby and Dean order the All American Breakfast and Jo order a bagel with cream cheese and bacon on the side. "They are running me rampant this morning", she complained. 

The table broke into chatter as the family started their own side conversations with each other. Dean and Charlie started talking about the chemistry project that they'd been working on for a couple weeks, Sam and Jo started bickering about who would get to pick the first game of the day, and Bobby leaned back in the booth and opened the newspaper to the sports section. Ellen looked around for a second at the commotion, and cleared her throat loudly to get everyone's attention. 

Everyone quickly silenced and looked at her expectantly. "So, Sam, have you decided who you want to be your sponsor yet?"

Dean chocked on his food and coughed a little to make it go down the correct pipe, "Excuse me? Is Sam in rehab?"

Sam rolled his eyes and glared at Dean, "Are you serious, Dean?"

Dean shrugged and looked at him with confusion, "What the hell else do you need a sponsor for?"

Ellen crooked her head, "As in a confirmation sponsor?"

Charlie chirped up as she topped off Bobby's coffee, "Ooh! That's a big decision, Sammy! I picked my Aunt Rowena. She's not really the biggest Christian poster woman but she is a bad ass."

Dean looked up her, his confused look not melting, "What are you guys talking about?"

Bobby put down his paper, "You never got confirmed did ya?"

"I don't even know what that means, so I'm gonna go ahead and say no." Dean replied, getting irritated by his lack of understanding.

Charlie scowled and crossed her arms, "What? How did you manage to get out of that? I had to do it sophomore year of high school. The dress was so uncomfortable."

"I told John he should have you do it when the time came, but I guess he just never got around to enrolling you into religious ed." Bobby explained. 

"Wait why, what is confirmation anyway?", Dean asked.

"Well, it's basically you officially telling God that you're on his team. Usually people do it when they're 16, but you can do it whenever you want, actually. You just have to take like, an ass load of religion courses and then you go to God camp, and THEN you get to tell the Bishop that you're good to go." Charlie explained, "The sponsor is a person you pick to represent you when you do it, kind of like a god parent but you can pick anyone except for your actual parents."

Dean's looked at Sam and Ellen. "Wait, is that true?"

Ellen nodded. "You betcha, honey."

Dean nodded to himself and thought about it for a second. "Okay so, Sammy's gotta do this confirmation thing now? That sucks." He snorted.

Ellen reached over and swatted him, "Hey! Don't laugh too hard you're gonna get started on it too mister."

Jo snickered, "Sucks to be both of you"

"Oh, shut up." Dean spat. "Why do I have to do it now? I'm already 18, can't I just skip this one?"

He could hear Bobby laughing from behind the paper that he had picked up again. Ellen responded, "Honey, it's important that you complete all the sacraments. If for no other reason than to make me sleep better at night, baby."

Dean threw his head back and sighed. After a few minutes of silently pouting and pondering, he looked back up at Ellen pitifully, "Do I really have to do it, Mama?"

Ellen lifted an eyebrow. 

That told Dean all he needed to know.


	2. ACDC

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is able to start religious education through his college. There some interesting people in his class.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I don't feel like saving this to my computer and AO3 doesn't save automatically there may be moments when the chapter isn't finished but is posted. If I waited to write during times when I had time to write the whole thing I would never find time to write, lmao. I am sorry in advance if you are left at an awkward stop or a cliff hanger or whatever. Like, for real I'm sorry. I will try and get things finished as soon as I can.  
> Also just as a warning, I usually write from like 1-4 am because I'm stupid and what is sleep. So if there's part that is weirdly written or doesn't make sense it's because I'm surviving off of one braincell like a caveman lol, so please let me know so I can fix it when I'm less tired. That's also probably why I stopped when I did. Like I said, a bitch has to sleep sometime.

Dean spent the rest of the day with Ellen and Sam talking about their plans to get this confirmation thing done. Sam was already all set with religious ed accommodations. Their church ran it year round for students who are old enough to get confirmed. Unfortunately for Dean, they only work with people who are still in high school and are doing it at the "correct" age. After a little bit of research, Ellen found that Dean's school actually held it's own confirmation program, which meant that he wouldn't be able to come home for family day anymore. Classes were held on Sundays from 5pm-7pm, and lasted until the second week of March, of course, breaks omitted. Even though they were later in the day, and provided plenty of time for Dean to go home and back, Ellen insisted that he stay so he isn't too tired by the time he had to go to the class. 

The program not only included the courses, but provided opportunities for community service and the week long retreat that are required before confirmation. Reading about all of the stuff he had to do was making Dean less and less excited about it, and he was already dreading it the second he found out about it. But, he loved his mama, and his mama loved Jesus, and his Mom, Mary, would want him to do this for Ellen. Dean twisted his father's wedding band in his fingers before clicking on the enroll button and officially signing up for the pain. 

Dean reached for the wedding band hanging from the chain on his neck once again before he opened his mouth to admit where he was going to his roommate. He knew Benny would make fun of him. Not in a real, hurt your feelings, bully way. In a, you're such a push over for your mom, way. He knew he would never hear the end of it. Benny was a good roommate. He always kept his side of the room tidy, and on his side of the room. He ALWAYS invited Dean to come with him to every party or hangout that Benny was invited to, and he was really good at keeping it down when Dean was sufficiently hung over. He was even a pretty decent wing man. As good as he was though, he was also a total ball buster.

Benny laughed a little bit and looked up at Dean still smirking, "Awww, look at the little mama's boy". Benny reached over to pinch Dean's cheek mockingly. Dean shoved his hands off.

"Laugh it up, dick." Dean responded, "I'm just letting you know so you know where to find me if your dumb ass gets into any trouble."

"You said in the theology building, right?" Benny asked

"Yeah, it's the one across from the fountain." Dean answered. "It's about two hours, so I won't be home until later."

"Alright brother, I'll see you tonight. If there's any hot guys in there be sure to drop my number along with yours." Benny shoved Dean's arm as Dean walked toward the door.

"Oh yeah, because a religious ed class is a good place to pick people up?" Dean snorted as he let himself be pushed out the door and into the hallway. He slung his backpack over his shoulder and left for the theology building.

\---

Dean walked in and got lost for a few minutes before finding the room he was supposed to go into. The classroom was cold, but colorful. There were bulletin boards full of stain glass window projects done by students as well as biblical paintings. It was all very nice to look at, honestly, and Dean felt comfortable in there. He just wished that he had brought a jacket. Jo had talked about catholic school not being as bad as people think it is, but Dean had no clue what to expect.

He chose a seat at the back of the room and shifted in his seat as he waited for the class to get started. He looked at the people who seemed to be the instructors at the front of the classroom. They were putting refreshments at the table separating the teacher's desk from the student desks. There was a small man who seemed to be in charge. He had stubble and looked like he hadn't slept in a few days, at least, not well anyway. He had a quivering and squeaky voice and he thought he heard someone call him Chuck. The others finished helping Chuck put out the food and drinks before going to their own classrooms. There was apparently more than one section of this course, which Dean figured were different age groups. 

The people coming in to attend the class seemed normal enough. Dean wondered what it was that made them decide to come back and do this. Maybe the same reason he was there. There were about ten of them sitting there, himself included, and Dean put his feet up on the desk to make himself comfortable before the lecture started.

That's when _he_ walked in. Dean almost fell out of his chair trying to sit up straight and take his feet down from the desk. He was young, and looked to be Dean's age. His hair was inky black and standing up in a few different directions. Not in a way that looked gelled, but in a way that made it seem like the guy just didn't feel the need to comb it. He was wearing an ACDC t-shirt that was a few sizes too big for him and black jeans. The guy looked around and stalled, mouth slightly hanging open, his expression stuck in the terrified freshman look that Dean had only a few weeks ago. Dean's world seemed to move in slow motion as he stared. The guy made eye contact with him just as he was pushed slightly from behind by two other guys piling in like dominoes. The ACDC guy almost fell forward completely but ended up regaining his balance as the two guys behind him giggled and tried to keep themselves from falling too. They had been running and coming to the screeching halt that they did when they ran into ACDC, Dean was honestly surprised that they managed to stay afloat.

Chuck looked up at them with annoyance. "Are the three of you going to sit down, or are you just going to stand their giggling the whole time?"

ACDC's cheeks turned red as he stood there, still standing in that spot like a statue, looking more embarrassed by the second. The smaller guy behind him grabbed ACDC by the shoulders and physically moved them to the back, where Dean was sitting, with the taller blonde guy following behind. Blondie was almost dancing to his seat, swaying his hips fluidly as he held on to the others' shirts. They finally plopped down in the row in front of Dean in a hush of whispers and giggles. The classroom had stadium seating, so Dean looked down on them and inspected each of them in curiosity.

ACDC whispered to the other two in a way that almost sounded like a growl, "I cannot _believe_ you two. I did NOT ask you to come with me, let alone come drunk."

Dean blinked quickly, not believing his ears. _Drunk? At a religious education course?_ Maybe they were worth being friends with, because Dean found himself wondering how he didn't think of that first.

Blondie leaned over his smaller friend's lap to whisper back at ACDC, "Cassie, would you please relax? I know that it is medically impossible for you to remove the stick from your ass, but you need to liiive a little, beautiful." Blondie dragged his hand against Cassie's jaw. 

The small guy snorted, "Can you not hit on my little brother for like," he paused to hiccup, "two seconds?"

"Both of you be quiet before we get in trouble, _please._ " Cassie pleaded. "I know you two have already done this, but I actually have to get confirmed when this is over."

At that, Chuck cleared his throat and turned on the projector. The PowerPoint slide was entitled, "Your Journey to the Sacrament" with a picture of the crucifix underneath.

"Hello everybody! I'm Dr. Shurley, but you can all call me Chuck, since this isn't really a college course. I also teach Theology 305 on Tuesdays and Thursday in this very room, so you can usually find me here."

Chuck continued with his lecture, but all Dean could seem to do is stare at the back of Cassie's neck. He had tan skin and it contrasted beautifully with the rest of his features. When he actually turned around in his seat to hand Dean the attendance sheet, all Dean could do is stare. 

Cassie raised an eyebrow and mouthed something that Dean didn't quite hear. Realizing that he was acting like a total idiot, Dean shoot his head and responded, "W-What?"

Cassie jutted the attendance sheet even further towards Dean, "Do you need this or not?"

Dean looked down and realized what he was being asked, "Oh, I'm sorry, yes. Yes I need that." 

Cassie handed the paper to him and rolled his eyes, "Jesus don't tell me that you're drunk too."

"Uh, no-" Dean started but was interrupted by the guy sitting between Cassie and Blondie. 

"Oh, but would you like to be, my friend?" He held up a flask to Dean's face and wiggled it a little, "My name's Gabriel, and I promise that this is not some elaborate plan to roofie you."

Dean opened his mouth to respond when Blondie chirped up, "Although that can be arranged, I mean, if you're into that kind of thing, sweetheart."

Dean could do nothing but laugh as Cassie grabbed Gabriel's shirt and pulled him down to his level, "Will you not rest until you have embarrassed yourself to the maximum capacity?"

"You should really whisper Cassie-kinz or we're gonna get yelled at" Gabriel answered with glee. Cassie let go of his shirt and turned toward the professor. 

Gabriel turned his eyes back to Dean, "Sorry, my kid brother is a little bit of a stick in the mud. We are actually going out after this, if you wanna join?"

Dean was surprised, "On a Sunday? Don't you all have classes tomorrow?"

Blondie answered for him by turning around to face Dean again, "We do but who cares? Hangover's always make things more interesting."

"Balthazar, turn around before I stab the both of you." Cassie bit.

Balthazar gasped dramatically, his hand falling to his chest, "Kinky!" he replied, and finally the three of them managed to pull themselves back into the lecture that was being taught. 

The next twenty minutes of the course were spent explaining what confirmation was all about, why they were doing it, the explicit steps they had to take, and when they were expected to do each of them. "You are all going to be spending a lot of time together during these next few months. We will be doing a lot of spiritual reflection, team building exercises, and community service together, so I want to give you this time to get to know the people around you, so you're more comfortable throughout this process."

Almost before the sentence even finished, the gang of craziness turned to face Dean. Balthazar leaned forward and tapped on his hand relentlessly. "He's ours! I called dibs on this one!"

Cassie looked up at him with remorse in his eyes, but still a hint of humor in them too. It seemed like no matter how annoyed he was with them, he still thought they were pretty hilarious. _I'm sorry_ , Cassie mouthed to Dean, and Dean just smiled at him and mouthed, _Don't worry about it_ , back. 

Before Dean could think another thought, Balthazar and Gabriel were both ungracefully climbing over their seats to come sit beside Dean. Balthazar started stroking Dean's hand and Gabriel grabbed Dean's backpack and started to look through it. He grabbed Dean's Anthropology text book and looked at it thoughtfully, "Shut up, we are not in the same class on Thursday!"

Dean blinked in surprise, "With Professor Masters?"

Gabriel's face lit up, "Hellz yeah, man! She is a _total_ bitch, but it's okay. I know she loves me really." He waggled his eyebrows.

Dean looked over to find Cassie walking through their old row of seats to the isle, and then walking up the steps to meet the rest of them. "You would think walking around was too much to ask" he quipped, rolling his eyes. Cassie finally walked up in front of Dean and leaned on the seat in front of him. He reached his hand out to shake Dean's and said, "I'm Castiel. I'm a mythology major."

Dean slowly reached his hand out in return, his breath hitching a little when their skin touched and replied, "I'm Dean. I-I'm a criminal justice major." 

Castiel smiled and pulled his hand back before swatting Balthazar's hand off of Dean's. "This is my brother Gabriel," Cas pointed out, "and his friend Balthazar."

Balthazar once again, gasped melodramatically, "Cassandra, you offend me! Are we not friends too?"

Castiel's expression hardened, "Not when you call me that, we're not." 

Balthazar got up and kissed Castiel on the cheek before he was quickly shoved off. He looked at Dean and corrected, "You can call me Baz, kitten."

The four of them talked over one another for almost the entire time allotted, but Dean didn't mind. It really reminded him of the vibe at his house. Everyone goofing off and making fun of each other out of love. Castiel was quiet though, letting his brother and Baz speak for him mostly. He almost seemed lost in thought as Gabriel and Baz screwed around, only really looking up and engaging when Dean talked about himself.

Dean learned that Castiel was a freshman like he was, but that he lived across campus in the suite buildings with these two. Gabriel and Baz were confirmed on time, but Castiel never had a chance to in high school because he spent his sophomore year abroad through his high school's French department. The three of them had actually grown up together, and their parents were in a prayer group together. They were all incredibly religious, but in the not loving and cuddly way that Ellen and Bobby were. They changed the subject quickly to Dean once that fact had slipped out of Baz's mouth. 

Dean talked about Sammy and Jo and his loving parents, and explained how it was that he ended up back in confirmation classes. That's when Castiel spoke up, "They sound like lovely people". Castiel's voice was gravelly but smooth and it made Dean have to work hard not to swoon. His eyes were so bright blue that Dean could feel himself getting lost in them. Castiel had said commented with such sincerity that it surprised Dean. He didn't even think that Castiel was listening. 

Dean did nothing but gaze at him for a few moments, and then was shocked back into reality by Chuck playing the sound of church bells on his phone to get everyone's attention. "Alright everyone, that's the end of the class for tonight. I hope that you were able to find some people to call your own as we continue with this process." Gabriel took the opportunity to lean across to Dean with a fist bump ready. Chuck continued. "Next week we'll actually get into the meat and potatos of these courses. We'll be discussing the gospel as well as what it means to be catholic in this day in age. I will try my best not to make it boring-"

"Too bloody late", Baz whispered.

"-but I don't make any promises. Try your best to keep bring your best attention forward in these next few months. It will be over soon."

"That's the spirit!" Gabriel said, almost a little too loudly. Castiel reached over and punched Gabriel in the arm. 

As they descended from their seats and the rest of the class erupted into conversation with one another, Baz threw his arm around Dean, "So, are you going to out with us tonight, scamp?"

Dean smiled, "I appreciate the offer, but I'm gonna have to raincheck that one. I have a test at 8." 

Gabriel and Baz began to boo incredibly loud and Balthazar took his arm off of Dean to move it to Gabriel's shoulders as they walked ahead of Dean and Castiel into the cold night air. They started mooing instead of booing and both Dean and Castiel started to chuckle. 

"If you said you live in Belington, you must have to take a left here, right?" Castiel asked, pointing just a few feet ahead of them.

"Yeah," Dean said quietly, "That's right."

Castiel took a deep breath and put his hands in his pockets as they stopped at the corner. "Well, it was nice to meet you, Dean." His voice was still deep and even, even standing in the cold. 

Gabriel and Baz had turned from their few yards to the right of the two of them and continued to walk backwards towards their building yelling, "IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU DEEEEEAN" mockingly back at Castiel. Castiel rolled his eyes and huffed as he smiled slightly at Dean.

Dean just laughed, and laid a hand on Castiel's shoulder, "See ya next Sunday, Cas.", and dropped his hand back to his side as he began to walk in the opposite direction.

Before Cas moved himself, he called out slightly, "Cas, huh? I like that." 

Dean blushed and smirked to himself without looking back.

\---

Dean arrived back to his room around 7:45. He had stopped to get dinner for Benny and himself because he received a whiney text from his roommate just as he was passing the take out dining hall. He got Benny four soft tacos and himself a burrito bowl. He threw the bag of food on Benny's desk in front of him and slid his flannel off in one slick movement before face planting on his bed. 

"Oh, cher, you are too good to me" Benny sighed, as he inhaled the smell of the food into his lungs.

"Only because you begged like a big giant baby," Dean giggled as he threw a balled up napkin at his friend. 

Benny shrugged and took the hit, "So? Any cute fellas or females at this lovely Christian event?"

Dean could feel his cheeks warm up so he refused to look at Benny and instead broke into his dinner for the evening, "No", he lied.

Benny clicked his tongue between his cheek before taking a huge bite of his taco. "Such a shame"

Dean continued to eat his food in silence, as he remembered the way Castiel managed to look so good in a battered old ACDC shirt and some ripped jeans.

He couldn't wait for next Sunday.


	3. Your Roommate is Hot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The religious ed classes continue. Dean and Castiel go on their first community service run. They end up at a party together later on one of them gets pretty shitfaced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like y'all need to know that this video is what inspired this fic....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LzTgPcE7BZc   
> The bible camp lyric almost made me choke on my food it was so hilarious, and as someone who has been to "bible camp" or as we called it, "God camp", I can promise you that shit like that happens lmao.  
> Hearing it in the destiel context was just so golden I found myself wondering if there were any fics like that and then I remembered that I can actually write one myself if there weren't any.  
> So here we are. I hope you enjoyed that explanation lmao.  
> Also I feel like this chapter is long, and I'm kind of afraid I'm sucking at this whole writing thing. A lot more happened than I was planning on. Whoops.

It was time for their first community service run out of the four they had to do before the big day. It had been written in the class calendar since the first day of religious ed, but it seemed to sneak up on Dean. There were a lot of different choices to pick from. There was working as a food organizer at a local food pantry, another choice was being a babysitter for the people at the local church who were in prayer group, and there was also a choice to organize the clothing that was donated to the homeless shelter into sizes, styles, and getting rid of the ruined clothes. Dean knew there was no way he would want to work for the prayer group parents. Nothing against them, he was sure they were great, but being locked in room with 15-20 kids with only other college kids to help? Fuck that. He would pull all of his hair out one hour into the job. The other two options seemed okay though, and they were similar enough choices that Dean didn't really care which of the two he had to do. He figured he'd just ask the gang what they preferred and doing whatever they picked. 

The three of them seemed to make everything more fun. Dean wished that he could smuggle them into his art history course. Without fail, drunk or sober, Gabriel and Balthazar never ceased to make things interesting during the religious ed classes. Cas was almost always annoyed with their behavior, but the more classes they went to, the more lenient he became. Dean thought that maybe Castiel was just saving his energy in hopes that the two of them would just get kicked out of the course for acting like buffoons the whole time. Somehow though, Chuck never seemed to notice their shenanigan's. Either that, or Chuck just chose to ignore them. 

Castiel always sat on the very end of the row, furthest away from Dean. Dean was usually there first so he would just sit in any random seat, and then the group would find him and sit right beside him, but Cas never failed to sit as far away from Dean as possible. Dean even tried to switch it up, and through him off guard by sitting at the end of the row, closest to the isle, and Cas _still_ let Gabriel and Balthazar sit between him and Dean. Dean figured that Cas must not like him very much, but knew that the other two were entertained by him, so he just tolerated Dean. Why else would Cas continue to treat him like he was contagious or something. Dean decided not to let it bother him. He enjoyed Gabriel and Balthazar's company too, so he just decided to deal with it as is. Afterall, he was thankful to get to spend any time with Castiel. 

Cas was quiet a lot of the time. He was constantly listening and thinking. There were a lot of times that Cas would just smile to himself at a funny comment or roll his eyes at a stupid joke, but didn't feel the need to reply or speak like so many other people, including Dean, needed to in order to feel like a part of the conversation. When Cas did talk though, it was always a well calculated and amazing use of his voice. It was either a zinger that decimated whoever was talking before him and made them all drop their jaws, an explanation of something the rest of them didn't understand that made perfect sense, or a really well thought out response to something that we had to read, or conversation they were having. Cas was not only thoughtful, but articulate, and Dean had never met someone like that before. 

That's why panic ensued inside Dean's brain when he turned the corner of the classroom to find Castiel sitting in their row, alone. 

Cas was reading something, intently. His brow was furrowed, and he wasn't looking up at all from the pages as his eyes darted back and forth rapidly. He was leaning back in his chair casually though, radiating so much confidence in such a small action that Dean almost wanted to run in the opposite direction and just go home. His attendance record could take one absence, right? Dean quickly spun around out into the hallway.

The craziest part of all of this is that Dean was not a shy guy. He never really felt uncomfortable talking to anyone in normal situations. He was usually confident, even when he was trying to pick someone up. He was a total flirt with everyone he was interested in, and very rarely folded in social situations. Why was this giving him such a hard time? 

Dean could feel his heart racing and he was starting to sweat. He decided to take out his phone and call Ellen and catch up, trying his best to stall before he had to go in. Maybe he would get so into the conversation he would just talk with her until it was over.

It only rang once. "Hey, honey!" Ellen sang into the phone. "What are you up to, sweetheart?!"

Dean smiled and felt all of the tension in his chest slip away, "Hey mama. I miss you." Which was true. He wanted a hug from her, bad.

"I miss you too, kid. Jo and Sam are at each other's throats lately I-", she was interrupted by a loud crash. Dean could hear Jo and Sam squabbling. "Hang on a second, honey."

Dean heard Ellen put the phone down and then, _Are you too serious right now? It's just a movie, you can agree on that can't ya? I'm about two minutes away from sending you both to your rooms._ Dean couldn't help but laugh. He knew that voice. They were in serious shit. 

Ellen picked the phone back up, "You still there, baby?"

"Yeah, I'm here. Laughing my ass off but, I'm here."

Ellen sighed, "We should all come up and see you one of these weekends and take you out to lunch before you have to go to your class." Ellen thought for a second, "Wait, isn't it 5 o'clock?"

Dean looked at his watch, "It will be in three minutes."

"You better get off this phone then, boy. Get in there. Didn't you say that today is your community service day?" Ellen asked.

Shit. Dean was so surprised by Cas being alone that he had forgotten. He couldn't leave. "Yeah", he muttered.

Ellen was quiet for a minute. "Everything okay, Dean?"

Damn, she always seemed to know. "I'll be okay, mama. I should head in though, I'll talk to you later."

"Okay, baby. Whatever it is, I'm sure you'll be fine. I love you."

"Love you too" Dean replied as he hung up the phone. He took one final deep breath and gave himself a mental pep talk before walking back in. 

Cas was still reading as intently as he had been the first time Dean had walked in, except there was a significant difference in how far he had gotten into the book. Cas had gotten a lot in during those few minutes. Dean was impressed. He adjusted his shirt nervously and made his way up to the row and tried to think of something cool to say. When he got up there, though, all he did was look at him. 

Castiel was wearing a dark blue hoodie and jeans. He was wearing matching blue converse and he had managed to scrunch himself up so that his book was in his knees, which were brought up against his chest all in one seat. His hair was in its usual mess, but it was significantly matted down against his forehead today, its dark color and closeness to his eyes really bringing out the bright blue against his irises. The book looked worn, like it had been read several times. Cas had the front cover folded behind the rest of the book.

Suddenly Cas took a deep and frustrated breath, and without looking up said, "If you want to sit down, just do it, I'm not sure why you're waiting for an invitation."

Dean felt his cheeks heat up in embarrassment, "Oh, yeah, sorry Cas.", he muttered.

Cas blinked and then looked up to Dean, who putting his backpack down on the floor in front of the seat next to Castiel, and suddenly he looked mortified. "Oh, it's you! I am so sorry Dean, I didn't mean to be so rude. I thought it was someone who was too nervous to ask me to move down or something."

Dean cleared his throat and sat down, trying to act normal, "It's okay man. I guess I was just surprised that you managed to beat me here. You guys are usually running it at the last second."

Cas chuckled, "Well, I only managed that because it's just me tonight. I actually have the ability to read a clock unlike the other two."

"What's keeping them today?" Dean asked.

"They like coming to the class to pick fun at me and annoy the professor, they don't actually need to be here. I guess actual community service is where they decided to draw the line." Cas said.

Dean shrugged, "I guess I don't blame them. If I had the chance to skip, I would too."

Cas paused and looked at Dean with what looked to be a thoughtful gaze. After a few seconds he replied, "I don't know. I'm glad I have a chance to impact the community in a positive way."

Dean was immediately embarrassed. Of course Castiel was perfect enough to actually _want_ to do something like this. Dean felt like a dick for commenting like he did, but it was too late to back peddle now. "I guess I'm just not as selfless as you, Cas."

Detecting Dean's embarrassment, Castiel reached his hand over to Dean's leg and said, "Don't worry, I'm not completely selfless. There isn't a chance in hell I'm going to the babysitting one."

Dean knew the only reason Cas had put his hand on Dean is to be reassuring, but Dean suddenly couldn't breathe. It was all he could do not to put his hand on top of his and squeeze. Instead, Dean just laughed and agreed, saying that he would rather do almost anything else.

Cas smiled and lifted his hand back into his lap, looking forward as Chuck began. 

"Good evening, everyone! I hope you all have had a nice weekend, and are ready to give back to your local organizations." Chuck was wearing glasses today and he somehow managed to look even nerdier. "You are all aware of the choices, so you may come up here and sign up for what you want to do. Just remember, in order to get all 12 hours, each one of our community service days are going to be three hours long, so you wont be leaving until about 8:30pm tonight."

The whole classroom groaned. Chuck rolled his eyes and gestured to the three clipboards in front of him, silently asking everyone to come down and pick. Castiel stood up and Dean followed, leaning into Cas's space and asking, "So, which one are we going for, champ?"

Cas thought for a second and replied, "I think I'd like to do the clothes one. Canned foods really gross me out, sometimes." Cas shuddered as he thought of them. 

Dean smiled and he felt his chest warm up a little. Cas was so damn adorable. 

\---

Dean and Castiel showed up at the homeless shelter with the others that chose that route. There was only 2 other people with them. A surprisingly large amount of people chose the babysitting option, much to Dean and Castiel's surprise. Their names were Bela and Ruby, and they seemed nice enough. Dean talked to them a lot about their classes and other college experiences as they worked. Dean could tell they were forced by their parents to be there to by their serious amount of contempt for where they found themselves. They could barely make it 5 minutes without complaining that they didn't want to be there. Their negativity didn't seem to get to Cas though. He just continued folding and organizing clothes, seemingly unaware that they were even talking. 

Finally, Castiel picked up a stained baseball t-shirt and sighed, "I don't understand how so many of these items are completely unwearable.", he complained, "These people are homeless! They don't need clothes with giant stains on them or holes. People should be donating clothes that are still in good condition. Just because they don't have houses, doesn't mean they don't deserve to be clothed properly." Bela, Ruby, and Dean all just looked at him for a minute. He looked at the three of them, "I apologize for the suddenness of that comment, this is just the 10th shirt with a stain like this in it an it's incredibly frustrating."

Ruby spoke up, "Actually, I was just thinking about how true that is, dude." She walked over to him and grabbed the shirt, "I never thought about it before but, so often I just throw whatever I would throw away into the donation bin at home. I'm glad you said something."

Cas smiled at her and then went back to folding. After a few seconds, Bela spoke up. "Hey, we're actually going to a house party that my friend is throwing after this. You guys should come."

Dean opened his mouth to decline when Cas spoke up, "Well, I don't think Dean will be able to. He has an 8am on Mondays."

Dean blinked in surprised. _Cas remembered that?_ Cas looked up at him expectantly. Dean's stomach tied in a knot as Cas stared him down with his baby blues. Dean shook his head slightly and answered, "You know what, sure. I'll go with. Only if my friend here comes too." Dean reached over and slapped Cas on the shoulder.

Cas smiled wide and nibbled on his bottom lip, "I would love to come, thank you for inviting us.", he replied, not breaking eye contact with Dean until Ruby spoke.

"Great! We've only got a half hour left so, let's get it done, losers!", she said.

Dean followed Cas to a different section of clothes and folded next to him. "We'll see if a hangover will really make my chemistry class more interesting."

Cas snorted.

\---

The four of them arrived at the party around 11. Dean thought it seemed early to show up to a party like this, but to be fair, he didn't usually know the people that he were throwing the parties he had been too. They had all went out to eat beforehand and stopped by a liquor store. Thankfully Bela had a fake ID and was able to buy four bottles of liquor without a problem. They all had their backpacks, so they were easy to conceal. Cas seemed to open up more at dinner. He talked about his major and told stories about Gabriel and Balthazar that made the girls laugh, but all Dean did while he listened was look at the way his muscles moved under his hoodie while he talked. 

They were standing at the door waiting for Bela's friend to let them in when the door flew open. A guy with sandy blond hair opened it and his eyes widened and he grinned, "Bela! Ruby! Other dudes!" Dean could tell he was under the influence. He wasn't sure of what it was he was under the influence of just yet, maybe a mixture of things. "I'm glad you made it!" 

He stepped to the side and Dean's eyes widened as he saw the strobe lights dancing behind him, bathing what seemed to be a million people dancing and talking. He couldn't believe how many people were here already. Bela and Ruby leaned in to hug the guy. "Adam! You're already cross-faded. I love that for you.", Ruby rubbed his hair into a mess before stepping in. The rest of them followed. 

"Okay gang," Bela started, "Bathroom is upstairs and to the right, back porch is attached to the kitchen, and the basement is sound proof. So, have fun!"

Suddenly the two girls had vanished and it was just Dean and Castiel, standing and staring at each other. 

Dean was shocked. He had never showed up to a party this early, or this sober if he's honest, and he had also never shown up to a party without a posse. He looked at Castiel, who's eyes were enlarged in terror as he looked at Dean. Dean put a hand on his shoulder before leaning in so Cas could hear him, "Are you okay, man?"

Castiel swallowed, eyes still wide, "I've never actually been to one of these before" he admitted, "I actually had no plans on coming until you said you wanted to come."

Dean looked back at Cas, confused. "Wait, but haven't you been out with Gabe and Baz before?"

Cas shook his head, "I'm usually only there to drop them off, pick them up, and then clean up the vomit." 

Dean took a breath and thought about this information. Then, he took off his backpack and unzipped to find the bottle of tequila that Bela had purchased for him. "Well, Cas,", Dean started, "Rule number one of house parties: they are no fun sober." Dean unwrapped the bottle and took a swig. He handed it over to Cas who seemed like he was breathing even faster now. 

Cas looked at Dean one more time, and when Dean nodded, Cas took the bottle in his hand and started chugging, squeezing his eyes shut as he did so. 

"Woah, woah there buddy" Dean said, putting his hand on Castiel's back as he chugged, "Careful with that thing"

After a few seconds, Castiel finally released the bottle from his mouth. "Gabriel always said to drink as much as possible right away when it comes to liquor, so that you can get the nasty part out of the way and then just enjoy being drunk."

Dean shook his head but giggled, "Welp, that's interesting advice, Cas, but considering the fact that this is your first time, I don't think you'll have any problem getting drunk." Dean took the bottle back and took a few more gulps before handing it back over and grabbing Castiel's hand. "C'mon, champ!"

Cas let Dean lead him to the middle of the dancefloor where Dean, seeming to be surviving on the adrenaline of the moment, began to dance slightly by moving his shoulders to the beat of the song. Castiel stepped carefully toward Dean, as Dean picked up the pace a little and grabbed Cas to motivate him to dance too. Cas finally took the hint and started to move his hips a little bit to the music. After a while, the two of them were really dancing with the people around them. Cas continued to take swigs from the bottle, and Dean felt his stomach flip watching Castiel's adam's apple bob as he swallowed. Dean could see the sweat pouring down his face and neck as he continued to dance, and wow. Cas was actually a really good dancer. The two of them sang Mr. Brightside together, or more like, screamed it together and Dean held his breath the few times they accidentally touched hands. 

All of a sudden, Cas perked up and smiled wide as he looked across the room. "Oh my god, Anna!" he yelled.

Dean turned his head to see a tall redhead make eye contact with Castiel and watched her eyes light up in excitement. She detached from the group of people she was with, and ran over to the two of them with her arms wide, "Castiel! What are you doing here?" She hugged him tight and Cas seemed to stutter step in her arms. 

When he finally pulled back, he reached behind himself and looped Dean into his body, with his arm around Dean's shoulders. Dean had to steady himself by grabbing on to Cas's other side, his hand managing to catch a little bit of heated skin when Castiel's shirt rode up above his hips. "I am here with my confirmation friend. We spent the day being good summarittens-" Cas slurred, "and now-" he hiccupped, "I'm intoxicated". 

Wow. Cas was already wasted. Dean supposed that it made sense. The bottle of tequila was about half way gone, and Dean probably only had about 1/4 of what had been drunk.

Anna smiled and put both hands on Castiel's cheeks and put their foreheads together, "It is about god damn time, man" They both giggled and Cas kissed her on the cheek before leaning back to escape her hands. "Make sure to get home safe, babe.", she said, "The tequila I can smell on your breath is gonna slam you soon." She ruffled up his hair as she walked away, slapping him on the ass before moving on. 

Dean's heart suddenly dropped. She had called him babe, he had kissed her on the cheek, and she slapped him on the ass. Was this Cas's girlfriend? Cas pulled Dean in closer so that Dean's neck was against Cas's face. "You smell good" Cas whispered and Dean's back was covered in chills. 

Dean stood back and let go of Cas, and Cas dropped his arm from Dean's shoulder and stumbled a little. "She's pretty", Dean stated, forcing a smile, "How long have you too been together?" Cas looked at Dean and cocked his head to the side in confusion before laughing so hard that his whole body reacted. Dean panicked internally. Was his jealousy that transparent? 

"Oh my goodness, silly!" Cas finally answered between giggles. "She's not my girlfriend! I mean she was when we were in high school but, I'm pretty sure the whole school recognized a beard when they saw one."

Dean froze. Castiel continued in his laughing fit. Dean wanted to rewind that to make sure he heard correctly. 

Cas slowly seemed to laugh a little less as the fit passed, "Sorry if that bothers you"

Dean swallowed hard and tried to focus before responding, "Trust me, Cas. It doesn't."

Cas looked up at Dean, tiny giggles still seeping in, and smiled incredibly wide. "That's good". Castiel almost sounded like a little kid. A little kid with a voice like silk. 

Dean looked into Castiel's eyes and Castiel stared right back into his. The moment seemed to last forever until all of a sudden, Cas's face flashed with a tint of green. Cas blinked a few times and stumbled a little before clasping his hand to his mouth. Dean knew what was coming. 

Dean reached across to Cas quickly and threw an arm around him, shoving them both through the crowd that had seemed to double since they had arrived. Dean trudged through to get to the door when he saw Bela and Ruby a few feet away from them. Bela laughed and Ruby called over, "Oh no! Mother Theresa's gonna blow!" 

Dean saluted the two girls and ran to the door, Castiel lagging under neither him. Thankfully, they were able to make it out to the driveway before Cas let any out. When they finally stopped though, it all dumped out of Cas and didn't stop for a while. Dean leaned over with him and patted his back as Cas vomited into the patch of dandelions against the side of the house. "It's okay, buddy." Dean reassured him, "We've all been here, just let it out."

When it seemed that Castiel was finally done, he just laid down on the pavement next to his puking spot and closed his eyes. Understanding how Castiel must feel, Dean found himself getting down and laying beside him. A few minutes past as they laid there silently. Thankfully this house was far enough from campus that they didn't have to worry about cops driving past. Finally, Cas spoke, "I'm sorry, Dean."

Dean turned his head and looked at Cas, whose eyes were still shut. He smiled to himself before looking back up to the sky. "Don't worry about it, Cas." He meant it. He had been so worried about spending time with Cas without the buffer of Gabe and Baz, but it was actually going really well. Maybe not so well for Cas because of the vomit, but Dean was actually having fun. 

"Whose ring is that?" Cas asked, out of the blue. "I have been so curious for so long and I just need to know."

Dean blinked and looked back at Cas, who was looking back now. Cas reached across himself and laid a hand on Dean's chest to feel the ring that had fallen there, not breaking eye contact. Dean's breath hitched and tears gathered in his eyes, probably because of the booze that were starting to catch up with him now. Nobody had actually asked him about it before in these four years. Everyone at home knew what it was, so they didn't need to ask. Living in such a small town, everyone knew everyone's business, and nobody at school had noticed yet. I guess that was Dean's fault, for assuming that there was something Cas had not noticed. He seemed to notice everything. 

Dean finally spoke, after what seemed like 50 years on the ground with Castiel, "My fathers", he breathed out.

Cas waited for an explanation patiently. Eyes continuing to stare into Dean's intensely. "Him and my mom got in an accident when I was in high school." A single tear slid down Dean's cheek and landed on the pavement below him. Dean did not move his eyes. 

Cas's expression softened and he took a deep breath. He moved his hand from Dean's chest, to his left hand, which was laying on his side against the driveway underneath them. Dean's breath surged and he held it. Cas grabbed his lower lip in his mouth and looked down at Dean's hand before saying, "I wish I could take your pain away." 

Dean felt another tear slide in the other tear's path as he looked back into Castiel's eyes. "I noticed it the first time I met you," Cas continued, "that kind of pain leaves a mark." Cas was still slurring his words, still drunk. Dean didn't want to be crying right now. Castiel was too drunk. Dean figured that was the only reason they were talking like this. 

Dean smiled at Cas and wiped his face before leaning up on his elbows and grabbing the hand that Cas had left on Dean's. "You are incredibly drunk, man." Dean let himself chuckle, "Why don't we get you home?" Dean stood up and leaned his arm down to lift Cas up.

Cas smiled sadly and let Dean help him up. Cas stumbled once again, but managed to stay on his feet. He was swaying as he patted down his pockets when he sighed, frustrated. Dean looked at him in confusion before Cas explained, "I don't have my ID." The realization hit Dean about why that was a problem. He looked down at his watch, which read, 2:15am. _Jesus Christ! They'd been out here that long?_

The way their buildings worked on campus, was that you were able to get into other people's buildings during the day, but after midnight until about 6 am, your card only works on your own building. Cas was locked out. Dean nodded and looked at Castiel, who was now lost in thought again and still swaying in his spot. He was now looking down at a button he had found in his pocket and was inspecting it closely. 

Dean breathed out a small chuckle and took out his phone to call Gabe. Voicemail. He tried Balthazar too. Voicemail. They were either out and about too, or they were sleeping. Either way, there was no way he was getting a hold of them. He decided to text Gabriel and let him know that he was going to bring Cas to his room to sleep tonight. He texted Benny the same thing. As Dean was doing this, Cas leaned over and touched Dean's cheek bone and smiled, still swaying, "You have-" hiccup "-so many freckles", Cas giggled. 

Dean looked over at him and laughed as he took his wrist and started pulling him forward to start the walk home. "Wow, you're wasted"

\---

It took a little bit longer than it should have because a few puke breaks had to be taken, but they eventually made it to Dean's room. Dean now had his arm snaked under Cas's arms to keep him walking and Cas was leaning most of his weight into him. Dean didn't mind. Dean pushed the door open and found Benny taking his shirt off and getting ready for bed. He had just got home from a party too. Dean could smell the whiskey he had been drinking. 

"Oh, hello overnight guest!" Benny greeted, charm oozing out of him. "Who might you be?"

Dean rolled his eyes as he walked Cas over to his bed and laid him down, "'M Cassiel" he slurred, "Deanie likes to call me, Cas, though". Cas batted his eyelashes and bit his lip, looking at Benny's naked chest. 

Dean scowled at Benny, "He's a friend of mine. He's insanely drunk and is staying here because he doesn't have his ID. Keep it in your pants.", Dean sighed, "and put your fucking shirt on."

Cas giggled like a child, eyes still on Benny. Benny winked as he slid his shirt on and Cas blushed. "Alright, brother." Benny answered before jumping onto his own bed. 

Dean put his water bottle, which was filled on his nightstand next to Cas's head along with a packet of Advil. He kneeled down next to the bed and looked at Cas, "Feel free to take and drink what you need, Cas. You're gonna have a wicked hangover tomorrow, so you might want to get a head start." 

Castiel reached and grabbed Dean's shirt and pulled him down to his own face, "Hey, wanna hearasecret?"

Dean chuckled, "Sure, huggy bear, what is it?"

Castiel pulled him closer so his mouth was against his ear, "Your roommate is hot."

Dean's heart dropped. He pulled back and Castiel's hand fell. Cas fluttered his eyes shut and curled into Dean's pillow. Dean stared at him with sadness in his eyes. He looked over at Benny with fury.

Benny shrugged and looked at Dean with a smirk, "Some fellas got it, and other's don't I guess."

Dean rolled his eyes and grabbed his sleeping bag out of his closet, "Fuck you. Go to sleep, asshole."

Dean didn't see Benny's expression because he just laid down and closed his eyes to keep the rage from bubbling inside of him, but his friend answered, "Yes ma'am" before turning off the light. 

Positive: Cas was sleeping in Dean's bed 

Negative: Cas was hot for Benny and not him

_Fuck._


	4. You Broke Our Pet Nun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next day proves to be an interesting one for both of them. Castiel is puking, sweating, and wants to die. Dean is avoidant and weird. Dean goes to Gabe, Balthazar, and Castiel's suite for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys. I planned on writing a new chapter last night, but as some of you may know, 15x09 aired last night. I was so shook and emotionally compromised after watching it to think about anything but that episode for at least 24 hours lmao. I loved it so much and I cried the whole time. If you watched it, I hope you enjoyed it, I sure as hell did!  
> Anyways, enjoy the chapter!

Dean was ripped suddenly from his dream with the clamoring of his alarm. He shot up from his sleeping bag in reflex and looked around to take in his surroundings. Memories of why he was on the floor washed over him as he blinked hard and woke himself up further. He looked over to his noisy alarm clock to see that it read 6:45am. His head ached a little. Nothing serious. He leaned over to his nightstand to turn off his noisy digital clock, careful not to knock over his water bottle from its spot. Dean stood up from his spot on the floor and was instantly hit with goosebumps and shivers. It was freezing in there. He ran over to his dresser and quickly threw on jeans and a burgundy sweater. He looked around for the source of the frigid air and realized that the window had been opened. He had no recollection of doing that, so Castiel must have cracked it during the night. Dean understood that. When he had been hungover in the past, he also found himself in between hot and cold flashes. 

Dean looked over at Castiel and couldn't help but smile. The guy was laying on his stomach and curled into Dean's pillow, with his face turned toward where Dean had been sleeping. His hair was all over the place and he was in nothing but his hoodie and boxers. He must have gotten sick of the tightness of his jeans last night as well. Cas was snoring. Not in a lawn mower way but, in a small whistling way that made Dean want to reach down and run his fingers through his hair. His legs were wrapped in the sheets, but the rest of the blankets seemed to be discarded on the floor or hanging from the mattress. Dean looked over at Benny as the sound of his friend's loud snoring interrupted the peaceful moment he had found with a sleeping Castiel. In that moment, he remembered. Cas had thought Benny was hot. In fact, the two of them had openly flirted in front of him. Dean glared at Benny from where he was standing. The sound that rushing from his nose starting to irritate Dean more and more, when he normally, didn't hear it. 

The more Dean started to wake up, the more the memories from last night started flashing into Dean's mind. The dancing, the red-headed girl, and- shit. The ring. The band that was hanging down and laid against Dean's chest in this moment seemed to feel heavy on his shirt as he remembered. Cas had noticed the ring and asked him about it. Dean had told him about his parents. Not everything, but enough. _Dean had cried_. Dean covered his own face from no one in a moment of embarrassment. How had he let that happen? Sure he was a pretty drunk last night, but he wasn't the blasted one. He had no excuse to tear up like he had. He suddenly had to get out of there. It was time to meet Charlie for coffee anyway. He quickly grabbed his keys off of the hook and threw on his leather jacket and bookbag before going out the door, hoping that Benny would wake up and go to his own class before Cas did.

\---

Charlie ran into the coffee shop with her hands up to her head, trying to shove all of her hair into a ponytail. She slammed herself down on the red stool next to Dean's, and he slid the drink that he had bought for her over into the counter space in front of her. "You are my knight in shining armor, Winchester." Charlie continued to take a gigantic gulp from the cup and winced from the temperature, but still did not stop. 

Dean patted her back and laughed at the state of his friend. "How late were you up last night?", he asked.

"About 2 am", she answered, "My trig test is going to kill me before I even take it."

Dean chuckled, "I didn't go to bed until closer to 4 last night, and I still managed to beat you here."

"Wait, what? What were you doing up so late?"

Dean pulled his bottom lip to chew on it before answering. Charlie had known about Castiel. Dean talked about him almost every coffee meeting Monday since he met him. Dean didn't even have to tell her that he was into him. After a few minutes of talking about him after their first religion class, Charlie had nailed him about being a lost cause. She want to know everything that happened from start to finish, and he wasn't really prepared to explain how he had royally embarrassed himself. 

There was no way he was going to get away with a lie though.

"I was out" he muttered into his cup before taking a swig.

"Out?" she looked confused, "With who? Couldn't have been Benny. I saw him in my building last night when he dropped Andrea off across the hall. I'm surprised they haven't gone at it yet."

Dean let her ramble on in hopes that she would get lost in her own thoughts and forget about her original question. Unfortunately that strategy did not work and she looked at him expectantly. Dean took a deep breath and started fiddling with the label on the to go cup. "I was with Cas."

Charlie had been in the middle of a sip from her coffee when he finally uttered those words, and the sip quickly turned into a surprised spit. Once Charlie had wiped up her splatters from the counter she looked at Dean with a grin dancing in her eyes, "WHAT?" She grabbed his arm and started to yank at his sleeve. "You dog, why didn't you tell me sooner?! What happened? How did it go?! Was it just you two, or was it everyone? WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME?!"

Dean used his other hand to remove Charlie's hands from his sleeve, "I knew you had your trig exam, and you needed to study." he explained. "It was just the two of us with these two girls that we met at our community service run."

Charlie looked at him, the confusion returning to her expression, "Why do you not sound excited? This is a good thing isn't it?"

Dean finally returned her gaze and looked disappointed, "It would be, if I hadn't embarrassed myself to the max before we even made it back to my room-"

Charlie interrupted, "HE'S IN YOUR ROOM RIGHT NOW? IN YOUR BED?!"

"Well don't get too excited there, princess, he told me he had the hots for Benny the second he landed in my bed. I wouldn't classify it as a win." Dean went back to his coffee and looked out the window as the information hit Charlie.

She slumped a little in her chair, looking a little defeated. Her expression was thoughtful as she chewed on the inside of her cheek. After a few moments of silence, Charlie finally asked Dean to start from the beginning, as Dean predicted she would. 

Once he had told Charlie the whole story, she stopped and allowed herself to absorb all of the details from the story. Then she spoke. "Do you really think Benny would hit that?"

Dean nodded, still looking off in the distance, "He definitely would. Cas is like catnip for him. The guy's got something for the quiet dorky ones."

"And you don't?" Charlie raised her eyebrows.

"Not usually" he answered, "In fact, it's usually quite the opposite. With women I like the ones who are feisty and outgoing, and usually the guys I go for are quippy and flirty. Cas is different. He's thoughtful and serious, and he actually sees people all at once, not just as someone to talk to or someone to entertain him. He's smart. He's smarter than almost anyone I've ever met, but not in a way that makes you feel like you're stupid. He just gets it. People, concepts, everything."

Charlie smiled at Dean and didn't talk. Dean got lost in his own thoughts about Castiel until he remembered where he was, who he was with, and how long he had been quiet for. He looked up with urgently, face heating up in embarrassment and looked back at Charlie, who was still smiling at Dean, dreamily. 

"Fuck off." he spat before taking a final drink from his cup before chucking into the garbage.

Charlie and Dean walked to their chemistry class and managed to slip it right at 8 o'clock. They had stayed at the coffee shop a little bit longer than usual talking about what had happened with Cas the night before. Charlie had assured Dean that him crying a little bit at the mention of his dead parents was not the end of the world, in fact is was completely normal. Although, she understood why he wished he hadn't. She told him that Cas probably didn't even remember it, considering how drunk he ended up being. Dean hoped she was right.

\---

Dean approached his door with apprehension, not sure whether or not he was hoping that Castiel was still there, or if he was hoping that he wasn't. He decided to finally bite the bullet after about 5 minutes just standing there and threw the door open and poked his head in, like a little kid who was seeing if his stuffed animals moved while he wasn't there. Castiel was gone, but there was a note on Dean's desk, written in incredibly beautiful script writing. 

_Dean,_

_Thank you for allowing me to sleep in your bed last night. I am greatly embarrassed about how I acted, and that you were forced to take care of me. That will never happen again. Although, I would love to go to a party with you again. That part was fun. I left you a few Advil, but I took a great deal with me. Hopefully I will survive this. I think I might die this way._

_Thanks again,_

_Castiel_

Dean softly treaded his fingertips across the ink on the index card and smiled like a giddy 13 year old. Cas could have easily texted him, but instead he left a note. How cute. Dean decided to pick it up and put it in his nightstand drawer. He didn't want Benny to come home and read it. Maybe Benny had been there when Cas wrote it, but Dean quickly deflected that thought, not wanting it to ruin the moment. That's when his phone started to ring.

Dean lifted his phone from his pocket to see that Balthazar was calling. Dean answered, "Hello?"

"You broke our pet nun", Balthazar chuckled into the phone, "He's still vomiting in the bathroom as we speak, kitten. What the hell did you do to him?"

Dean grimaced. Castiel was still sick? I guess for your first hangover you should just go big or go home. "I didn't do anything to him, he was the one who decided to chug the tequila like it was water."

Balthazar laughed for a while, wheezed actually, trying to catch his breath before yelling out away from the phone, "Cassie, is that true? Did you really chug tequila on your first night as a real college student? That's so hilarious." Balthazar returned to the phone, "You've corrupted our little goodie two shoes, you scoundrel."

"I'm glad I could get him out of his shell a little bit. It was a lot of fun."

"Do you have any more classes today?" Balthazar asked.

"Nope. I just had the one. Figured if I had to take an 8 am I at least deserve the rest of the day off, ya know?"

"Brilliant. Come over here. It's only fair you take care of the problem you helped create. I'll leave the suite door open so you can just walk in. Fourth floor, babe." Balthazar hung up.

Dean looked down at his phone and giggled. He didn't have to think twice. He was out the door faster than he could remember the name of their building.

\---

As promised, Balthazar had left the door opened for Dean to just walk in. Other than the door being open, the blaring music and laughter he heard coming from the suite helped Dean figured out which one was theirs. He even thought he heard a girl shriek. He walked in to find Balthazar dancing like he was at a ball in Cinderella to ACDC, and by himself no less, and Gabriel getting in a food fight with two other girls who were running around and jumping over furniture like they were in a hurdle race. Castiel was no where to be seen. 

Dean blinked a few times in order to come to terms with all that was happening in front of him, and then he suddenly realized that the two girls that were food fighting with Gabe were Bela and Ruby. Dean just stood there staring for a minute when Balthazar finally noticed he had walked in and stopped himself from ballroom dancing to greet him. "Deano! I'm so glad you could make it!"

Dean pointed at the girls as they ran passed him, "You know these two?"

That's when Gabriel realized that Dean had walked in and walked over to him, covered in ranch dressing and spinach. "Oh yeah, we've known them for a few weeks now." 

"Hi Dean!" Ruby called out from behind the bathroom door, where she and Bela had moved to clean themselves up.

Dean waved. Gabriel continued, "Yeah we talked to them that one day that Cas was sick and didn't come to God class and you were in the bathroom. That's when I got their numbers and later on we planned your little outing last night."

Dean just started at Gabriel while he let that information sink in. Baz interrupted his train of thought. "What? You were scheming without me? You bastard, how can I ever forgive you?"

Gabriel smiled at him and bowed, "Though I appreciate your skills, my lovely Baz, I knew you wouldn't be able to resist dropping in on Cas getting drunk for the first time. I was looking for an intimate moment and I knew that you weren't going to be able to make it through."

Baz just shrugged, okay with that assessment. He got back to his dancing, but this time, the girls joined in. 

"Why did you feel the need to stage that whole thing?" Dean asked, surprise still hanging on inside his chest.

"Well, we knew that Cassie would _never_ get drunk if we were there because his uncontrollable urge to mother me even though he is my little brother will never stop, and I believe that it was about time he had some fun."

That checked out. Dean agreed. He didn't realize that Cas had never been out before, let alone never got drunk, before last night. Otherwise, he totally would have invited him before that. Everyone needed to know what it was like to be drunk at some point in their college career. What better time than the present? Dean still didn't understand something though, "Why didn't you just tell me? I would have taken him out before now. You didn't have to get someone else to convince me, man."

Gabe looked at him with a grin and then answered, "Because I like you sweetheart. You're funny, you're macho, you're chill." Dean still didn't understand. Gabe rolled his eyes and continued, "I didn't want it to seem forced, buddy boy. You're good for, Cas. I knew you would be the second I met you and you're tiny little voice quaked when you talked to him."

Dean swallowed hard and his face went scarlet. 

"Oh relax, man, it's not like I care!" he assured Dean, "In fact, I'm fucking thrilled! It's about time my baby bro got some dick. Especially when the person attached to the dick looks like a Ken doll."

"You've known this whole time?" Dean asked, his voice low.

Gabriel just winked. 

Suddenly, Dean heard the suite door shut behind him and he turned to see who had entered. It was Castiel, his face white as a sheet, but he was in different clothes now. He was wearing purple flannel pajama pants and a huge led zeppelin t-shirt. He looked gorgeous even though he looked horrible. He was rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hand and groaning. Once he opened his eyes all the way and he realized Dean was there, in front of him, his eyes widened. "Dean", he said, voice still soft and deep.

"Hey there, champ." Dean smiled, "How ya feelin'?"

Castiel curled his arms around himself and winced at the loud music, "Like death warmed over"

Dean chuckled, "Yeah, liquor will do that to you. Especially when you drink like you did last night."

Cas lifted his hands to his face and groaned again, "Oh Dean, I still can't believe it. I feel so awful about it."

"Hey, don't worry about it. I've had to drag Benny's drunk and _mean_ ass home more times than I can count." Shit. Benny. Dean immediately regretted bringing him up. Maybe Castiel didn't remember, like Charlie had said. 

Cas bit his bottom lip and his cheeks turned crimson. Fuck. Maybe Cas did remember. "Benny, your roommate?"

"Y-yeah."

Suddenly the music was cut off. Balthazar and Gabriel were suddenly pulling the two of them over to the couches and chairs in the center of the common area and sitting them down with them. "Cassie is blushing", Gabriel pointed out, "Baz look!"

Balthazar squealed and clapped with glee, "Who or what brought this on, sweet cheeks?"

"Who is Benny?" Gabe asked almost immediately after Baz finished. 

Cas didn't speak up instead he pulled his knees up to his chest and shoved his face into his legs. Dean picked up the answer for him. "He's my roommate. Cas caught him with his shirt off last night, and it made him basically drool all over my sheets." Dean tried to add a little teasing tone to his voice to mask his hurt.

Gabriel looked at him with sad eyes. Knowing how Dean was feeling, but not enough to for Cas to notice. Cas probably would have noticed if he hadn't been sick or if he wasn't too busy dying of embarrassment. Dean shook his head quickly, letting Gabe know that it was fine, even though it wasn't really.

"It's true" Cas wailed into his lap before throwing his head back up to look at the rest of them, "I totally humiliated myself."

Dean smiled as the lump in his throat grew, "No, no, you didn't Cas. Benny was flattered. I saw him check you out. Don't be embarrassed. He loved it."

Cas looked Dean in the eyes with a look that made Dean want to cry, "Really?"

Dean cleared his throat and looked down at his pants, "Yeah, Cas, really." 

They were quiet for a little bit, when finally Balthazar saved him. "Wait, are we talking about Benny Lafayette?"

Dean nodded.

"Oh _no_ , no no no no, Cas, seriously, no." Balthazar looked flabbergasted. Cas gave him a confused look. Baz continued, " _I_ have hooked up with him."

Gabriel just started laughing. Dean used every brain cell he had to keep himself from cheering as he looked at Balthazar with smiling eyes. God he could kiss Baz right now. 

"You..had sex with Benny?" Cas asked

"Yes! Don't you remember? He's the guy you walked in on sucking me off!"

As if on cue, Cas stood up faster than lightning with his hand over his mouth, flashing that familiar green color that Dean had grown so used to. 

Balthazar and Gabriel's laughter just got louder as Cas ran out to the hallway bathroom to vomit again.


	5. Sometimes They Make Exceptions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been two weeks since the party. Dean agrees to take the gang on a trip to his house for a family day Sunday. Gabriel and Balthazar continue trying to get Dean and Castiel alone together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slow burns are kind of my thing, folks. 91 Whiskey is a favorite of mine, if that's any indication of how long you're gonna have to wait.  
> Sorry :)  
> The song mentioned, if you don't already know it, is My Favorite Part by Mac Miller ft. Ariana Grande, which can be found here, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_8xCOSekog, and streamed on Spotify. R.I.P Mac Miller. Also, check out his newly released album, Circles, on Spotify if you're interested.

It had been about two weeks since the party and Dean and Castiel were doing great. Their night of vomit and tequila seemed to break the final piece of ice that seemed to be standing between them. Dean was still pretty unnerved by the fact that he had talked about his parents with him, and with very little prompting, cried, but Cas never brought it up. Everything that had happened that night as well as the day of hanging out and coaching Castiel through his hangover that happened after, seemed to bond them, and they started to hangout outside of religious ed more. Castiel didn't seem to feel anything but friendship for Dean, but that was perfectly fine with him. He was happy to have the time at all. Sure, it felt like a punch to the gut every time Dean was reminded of how much he was into Cas, and by extension was reminded that Castiel was just his friend, and would probably be nothing more, but he decided to let that fuel his appreciation of him rather than dwell on it too much. 

The four of them ended up going out together almost every weekend. Now that Cas was comfortable with drinking and was more familiar with the college party scene, Gabriel was ready to have the whole group go with them, instead of just Cas going with Dean. Cas still was tempted every now and again to ask Gabriel to slow down or be careful, but now that Gabriel had the ammunition of Cas's previous alcohol mishap, he wasn't afraid to remind Cas of it and call him a hypocrite. They were a good team of drunks. Castiel kept silent tabs on all of them, Baz made everything more fun, Gabe could always get them free booze no matter where they were, and Dean was an excellent wing man. Having been burnt by Balthazar's sexual history with the first guy he flirted with, Castiel was too scared to actually admit interest in or flirt with anyone else, and quite honestly, Dean was okay with that. Helping Cas get laid was something he wasn't ready for yet. He wanted Cas to be happy, sure, but he wasn't so content in his spot in the friendzone that he was ready to advertise Cas to the highest bidder. The only guy Dean really had to worry about for the time being was Baz, who always managed to start flirting with Cas _shamelessly_ just before he blacked out for the night. He even shoved his hand down Castiel's pants one night.

It was Saturday night, and they were out at Adam's again with Bela and Ruby. Angry Orchard ciders were the drink that Gabriel had charmed out of the hands of Kahli, the woman who ran the local liquor store, tonight, and Dean and Cas were about 6 drinks in at this point. Each of them had their arms around each other in a huddle type circle, and they were swaying and singing to Piano Man. Dean and Castiel were standing next to each other, so Dean's finger tips were latched around Cas's neck and Cas's finger tips latched around Dean's. They were facing each other now as they sang, _"We're all in the mood for a melody, and you've got us feelin' alright!"_ Dean smiled as brightly as he could watching Cas giggle the words out and look into Dean's eyes. Cas's head fell back as the mess of na na na's came out of his mouth and Dean's chest tightened. He wished he had a camera to capture this moment.

Dean ogling was disrupted by the song ending and Cas grabbing his hand and twirling him around underneath his reach. Dean's breath was taken away in surprise. The tone of the music had changed dramatically, to a funky and smooth song that Dean didn't recognize right away. Once Dean had turned completely under Cas's hand, he was being pulled into Cas's chest and both of his hands were laced in Castiel's, as Cas started gently dancing along to the music with him. Cas's shoulders were going back and forth in beat with the music, tugging Dean's arms forwards and backwards with it. Cas had his eyes closed, really feeling the music before twirling Dean again. Dean's heart could've exploded. That's when Cas leaned in and sang the first lyric to Dean, just inches from his face, " _You just don't know how beautiful you are, and baby that's my favorite part."_

Dean finally recognized the song. It was a great song, he was just surprised he was hearing it here. Dean let himself fall into the moment and looked right back at Cas, continuing to the next lyric and dipping him over his knee, " _You walk around so clueless to it allll, like nobody gonna break your hearrt."_ Cas giggled underneath him as Dean continued to get swept up in the song and sang the rest of the lyrics while taking the lead in the pseudo tango dancing that Cas had started. They grooved along to the mellow tone of the song as Dean spun him around and closed in on him, acting like he was running through a scene in a play. Cas played right along, giving into Dean's advances as he bit his bottom lip and played "hard to get" by pretending to brush Dean off as he sang to him. It was getting close to the bridge now Dean was still singing, and he tugged at Cas's shirt as he danced, " _It'll be alright, babe. See me I gotchu covered, I'm gon' be your lover, you might be the oooone."_ Dean inched closer to him, staring him down, " _If it's only tonight, aye, we don't need to worry, we ain't in a hurry rushin' into loooove."_

That's when, right on time, Cas lifted his hand to Dean's cheek and sang with a dirty grin shining on his face, _"If you wanna staaaay, we're taking it slow_ _baby_ " Cas slid his hand down Dean's cheek, to his neck, and then to his chest, "' _Cause you and me, and IIIII got enough on my miiiiind, I can make some tiime for, something so diviiiiiiiine."_

Dean surged forward with his whole body and grabbed Cas's face with both of his hands and pulled him into himself, looking right back into his deep blue eyes as he finished the song with Cas in it's final chorus, them both belting their hearts out and moving their bodies to the music, not breaking eye contact. As the music fizzled out into its final notes and into silence, Dean was out of breath and so was Cas. They stood there for a second, not talking, still looking at each other, as the music changed to a different song. Up until this point, Dean had only pure thoughts about Cas. Sure, they had been a little sex driven in moments when he got a brush of skin against his own, but they were relatively innocent. This moment was different. Dean was about five seconds away from throwing him against the wall and slamming his lips onto Castiel's. Dean swallowed and looked down at Cas's mouth, which was parted and pink in Cas's exhaustion from singing and dancing like they had been.

Someone to the left of them cleared their throat, and suddenly the reminder of where they were and who they were with slammed into Dean's mind like a freight train. Dean took in a sharp breath at the sound and looked over to see Baz, Ruby, and Bela just staring at them. They all had looks of both shock and awe, and Baz's jaw was basically on the floor. The music had returned to the norm of a college party as the beginning notes of Welcome to the Black Parade came blaring through the speakers. That seems to be enough to change the attention spans of their audience back to partying and singing themselves, and Castiel, as Cas ran over to the others to chant those beginning lines. Dean was still reeling and didn't join them. 

Dean noticed Gabriel's absence. He wasn't with the others. He must have slipped out between Piano Man ending, and Dean and Cas's performance, which was unlike him. Dean figured that Gabriel would have wanted to stay and watch that unfold, considering he had told Dean that he had been actually doing things to purposely get them to get together a few weeks ago. Dean whipped his head around looking for his friend, and didn't see him anywhere on the dance floor/dining room that they were in.

Finally, Dean lifted his head and looked up into the risen stand for the person handling the music. This was a elevated spot in the floor that was surrounded by speakers in the living room across from where Dean and the rest of the group were standing. There was always someone in charge of the music, almost always a person who lived there, and some times people would go up and give requests. Behind the lights and speakers, there was Gabriel, making direct eye contact with Dean as he slid the kid in charge of the music a twenty and grinned wickedly. Gabriel winked and Dean shook his head. _That dick._ Dean couldn't believe it. Of course Gabriel had been behind that. There was no way someone would play such a romantic song in the middle of a house party full of drunken 18-21 year olds. 

Dean looked back over at Cas, who was now lost, again, in a completely different song with the rest of the company they had arrived with. His smile was wide and the sweat glinted off of him as the strobe lights drifted over his figure. Cas looked over at him and waved his hand for Dean to come over, and Dean smiled. Of course, following Cas without a second thought. 

\---

A few hours had passed, and the four of them were on their way home now. Dean and Gabriel being the drunkest of all of them. Ruby and Bela had stayed over at Adam's, and Dean and Gabe we're arm in arm, trying and failing to walk in a straight line on the sidewalk. Castiel and Balthazar were walking and talking in front of them and laughing about something. They were far enough ahead that they couldn't hear what Gabe and Dean were saying. Dean had started drinking heavily after his scene with Cas to keep himself from drowning in his own emotions and sexual frustration, but it ended up having the opposite effect. "Gabe, h-how the fuck did you even know that shit would work, dude?" Dean always swore more the drunker he got, "How the fuck- did you know- that some random ass song would have that fuckin' effect on us?"

Gabe threw himself back in laughter, forgetting that he was attached to Dean and Dean almost fell on his ass. They stumbled back in balanced and Gabe answered, "Cassie is like- the BIGGEST Mac Miller fan on this entire planet of earth, man! And you?" Gabe stopped in his tracks and pointed his finger in Dean's face with a smile, "You are a horny son of a bitch, and I knew it wouldn't take a lot to break ya. Plus I saw the Mac Miller sticker on your laptop." They started walking again.

Dean rolled his eyes and whined, "But man, you just made me _hornierrrr!"_

"Then what is taking so long?!" Gabe complained. "I mean Jesus, Imma be like- 80 thousand years old with a beard down to my fuckin' package before you make a move."

"Welp, he doesn't fuckin' like me, dude, what the hell do you expect me to do about it?"

"Just do it, just shove him down on his fuckin' knees and shove the dick into the mouth. I know you have it in you man, I was pretty sure you were gonna go for it like two hours ago.", they talked over one another.

After a moment of silence and a few more steps Gabriel stood up a little straighter and gasped, "I'm a genius!" He yelled.

Dean winced, "What?"

Gabriel let go of Dean without warning and Dean fell straight on the ground and groaned as Gabe bellowed to the other two ahead of them, "HEY GUYS! DEAN JUST INVITED US OVER TO HIS PLACE TOMORROW MORNING FOR CHURCH AND BREAKFAST WITH HIS FAMILY!"

Dean looked up urgently and kicked Gabe in the shin, making him fall over too, "Are you crazy?!" Dean scream whispered. "What the hell are you doing?"

Gabe scowled at him as he held his shin in pain, "I'm tired of waiting you jack ass!"

Cas and Balthazar had ran back to the two of them. Balthazar grabbed Gabe and Cas grabbed Dean as they hauled him both up. "You two are going to kill yourselves one of these days." Cas chuckled. He slinked his arm around Dean's torso to help him walk. "I think that will be fun! I would love to meet your family."

Dean sighed. Well, apparently this is happening. "Great, Cas. I'm sure they'll love you." Dean smiled at Cas, but then shot a glare over to Gabe, who had a shit eating grin smeared across his face.

\---

It was 8:05 in the morning, and Dean called Ellen to let him know that they were coming. "I haven't picked them up yet, but we'll be there on time. I told them that church started at 9:15 and that we would be leaving at 8:30."

"No problem, honey. I'm just so glad you're coming, I don't even care if you're late. It's only been a month but I miss ya, kid."

Dean smiled. Even though he was annoyed at Gabriel for offering this outing without asking, he was glad that he had an excuse to go home. He missed the smell of his house, and he wanted to see his family. It had been too long. "Trust me, I'm glad I'm coming too. Just prepare yourself. Two out of three of them are wild cards. I have no control or responsibility for their actions."

He heard Ellen's hearty laugh from the other side of the phone, "Interesting introduction, Dean. Okay. I could use some entertainment!"

"Okay, mama. I have to go get those clowns so, I'll see you in a few."

"Bye, baby." 

Dean shut off his screen and left with his coat in his hands after squirting himself a few times with his cologne to mask the alcohol coming out of his pores. Thankfully it smelled worse than it felt. Maybe he was getting too good at hangovers. 

He rolled up to their building and only waited a few minutes before he saw movement at the door. Cas came out in a light blue dress shirt and a black tie and his normally spiky and unkept hair was combed and gelled to look perfectly respectable. He looked great. Once Dean was done being distracted by Cas's outfit, he noticed that he was alone. 

Cas opened the passenger side door and sat down with a smile, "Good morning, Dean." 

"Hey Cas, where are the other two monkeys?" Dean asked.

"They're under the weather this morning." Cas responded. Dean thought about it for a minute. He believed that Gabe could be too hungover, but Baz wasn't that drunk last night. Seeming to sense Dean's confusion, Cas explained further. "They're not hungover. I guess it's the stomach flu or something? They said that they had been puking ever since they got back last night, but I didn't hear them at all."

Oh. Of course. Those two snakes slithered out of it to make sure that Dean and Cas went alone. Those dicks. Dean just rolled his eyes and chuckled a little bit. "Cas, if you don't want to go anymore, I completely understand."

Cas stopped him, "Of course not, Dean. I want to go. They seem great, from your stories, and I want to start putting faces to names." Cas looked down and put the car into drive. Dean looked up at him, surprised. "Now let's get going, we're going to be late!"

Dean laughed and threw on the radio as he drove off of campus. 

They spent most of the car ride talking about what they could expect when they got there. Dean attempted to refresh Castiel's memory of everyone's names and their relationship to Dean, but Cas seemed to remember it all verbatim.

"Sam is your brother. He's the one who is getting confirmed and why you have to get confirmed now. Jo is your adoptive sister, who is 17 and will be 18 in a few months. I remember you saying she was mildly aggressive. Ellen is your adoptive mother, and Bobby is your adoptive father. Ellen is affectionate and maternal by nature, Bobby is quiet but stern. Ellen runs everything, but gracefully and with love." Cas seemed to roll off the information as if it was his own. Dean was impressed.

"Gold star" Dean said, "You would think they were your family, Cas."

"They're important to you Dean" Cas stated matter-of-factly, looking at Dean sincerely, "Of course I remember what you said about them."

Dean's chest tightened in appreciation as he just turned his head slightly to Cas and smiled, acknowledging the comment without showing Cas all of the feelings running through his head at that moment. 

They were quiet for a while, when Dean started talking again, regaining his composure. "So, they're gonna be in a rush when we get there, as usual. I will have to run upstairs and change, but it won't take long."

Cas nodded and Dean pulled up to the curb in front of his house. He held his breath and him and Cas exited the car and made their way to the door. 

Dean lifted his hand to the knob but before he could open the door, it swung open forcefully and Dean was face to face with Sam. "Dean!"

Sam threw his arms around Dean in a hug. Sam must've grown since he was home last, because he felt like his was being hugged by a giant. "Hey Sammy! This is my friend Cas."

Sam let go of Dean and he stepped to the side to allow Cas to introduce himself to his brother. Cas stuck out his hand formally and smiled, "I'm so glad to finally meet you Sam.

His brother smiled back and returned the greeting. "Dean has told me a lot about you!" Dean glared.

Sam chuckled and Cas walked into the living room behind Dean. That's when Dean noticed that the love of his life was there, sitting on the couch with her legs crossed, and her nose stuck in a book as usual. His whole body lit up in excitement as he lunged himself forward and jumped on top of Jess, Sam's girlfriend of two years. She shrieked and giggled, giving him a huge hug as he picked her up and swung her around, her blonde curly hair bouncing off of her shoulders. 

Jess was an honorary family member at this point, after all she had done for each one of them, especially Sam. She was always there for them in times of crisis, and really came through when she was needed most. She was smart, extraordinarily kind, sincere, compassionate, and fiercely loving. She was easily Dean's favorite person on the whole planet, well, she _had_ been his favorite, anyway. He finally put her down and smiled from cheek to cheek.

"Jessica Moore, as I live and breathe. How the hell are ya, kiddo?"

She smiled and pinched Dean on the cheek, "Much better now that you're here, sunshine."

Dean ruffled up her hair with his palm, "Have you come to your senses and dumped my brother for me yet?" He joked. Of course he didn't mean that. He had nothing but great familial and platonic love for her, but this game they played to annoy Sam was tradition at this point.

"Oh, I have my bag all packed and ready to run away with you, Dean." she shoved his hand off of her head. "Now run upstairs and get changed before we're all in trouble."

"Right, right." he answered before walking quickly to the stairs. He turned around as he climbed up them, "Cas, this is my brother's girl Jess. Jess, this is my friend Cas. Mingle, I'll be down in a minute."

Dean rushed into his room and changed so fast he actually slipped a couple of times. His socks on the slippery hard floor mixed with his frenzy were a recipe for disaster. Once he finally had everything he wanted to wear on and ready to go, he could hear the voices of everyone in the house exchanging pleasantries in the living room without him. He raced down the stairs, thankfully for him, with shoes on this time, and zoomed into the room with the rest of them in time to see Ellen hugging Cas tightly. Cas made eye contact with him and Dean chuckled. 

Hearing the sound of her son's laugh, Ellen finally turned around and saw Dean. She spread her arms wide and gathered Dean in for his own hug, and any tension that Dean had been holding in his body suddenly turned to mush as he accepted a hug from his mama. She muttered something about it being about damn time, and Dean kissed her on the head. 

"Wait" she started, separating from him, "I thought you said you were bringing three people?"

Cas spoke up then, "Trust me, ma'am. You'll be glad it's just me. I can actually behave myself, unlike my brother and his friend."

Ellen laughed and linked arms with him, "Well, let's get going then. You can tell me all about them on the ride over."

The family made their way out the door, the rest of them circling Cas and Ellen as they gawked at the new visitor, asking him questions like a bunch of hungry hens. Jess pulled Dean back though, her hand grasping Dean's forearm tightly, "He's cute, Dean. It's about time you brought someone home."

Dean looked at her and her warm smile and pulled her into a side hug and kissed the top of her head and walked out to the car, liking arms with her like Cas and Ellen. He leaned in and whispered in her ear before they disconnected to get in their own spots in the car, "Unfortunately, we're just friends."

She squeezed his hand before walking to her side of the car.

\---

They arrived at Patrick's Diner and ended up sitting somewhere different than normal, in order to have enough room for everyone that had come that day. Dean walked Cas through the menu, telling him what was good and what wasn't worth trying. Charlie came walking up to their table with the normal drinks for everyone when she realized that Cas was sitting there too. 

"Castiel!" She said, surprise filling her voice. 

Cas looked up from his menu where Dean was looking with him and met her eyes. He lit up. "Charlie? You work here?"

Dean had introduced them a few days after the tequila incident. Charlie had begun to threaten homicide if she didn't get a chance to "check out the merchandise". Of course, they hit it off. 

"Yes I do! I had no idea you were coming to meet the tribe today. How are they treating you?" She looked like someone had just told her that she won the lottery.

"Famously. You are all lovely people." Castiel made meaningful eye contact with everyone at the table. It was true. Ellen and Cas had talked about Baz and Gabe on the whole way there, he had been cracking jokes with Jo and Sam almost all mass long, and he had been discussing the stock market with Bobby ever since they got out of church. He was getting along with them famously.

"That is so good to hear" Charlie responded. Although, her gaze was locked on Dean, not Cas.

Dean cleared his throat and changed the subject by ordering, and everyone else followed suit. Cas ended up ordering a western omelet and toast. Charlie jotted everything down and then disappeared into the back.

After a few minutes of hustle and bustle, Ellen coughed up her notorious throat clearing that made the whole table shut up before asking, "So, Dean, Cas, how is the confirmation journey going?"

Dean and Cas looked at each other and shrugged. Cas answered, "It's going good so far, I suppose. We still have a lot to go but, we've done two different community service days and a month of courses. We only have a few months left, two more community service days, and the retreat."

"Have you chosen a sponsor yet?" Sam chirped.

Cas thought for a minute, "I hadn't officially thought about it, Sam. I suppose I will choose my brother Gabriel. Have you decided yet?"

"I mean, I would choose Dean, but he obviously isn't confirmed. He can't."

"Is there anyone else you would want to do it with?"

"I would pick Bobby or Ellen too, but we're not allowed to pick our parents."

The whole table went quiet, and no one dared make eye contact with another person. No one had the heart to tell him that Bobby and Ellen didn't actually count as his parents. No one had the heart to say it in front of Bobby and Ellen, though Dean was sure they were thinking it too. 

Cas finally answered him, his tone not giving away a single emotion or awkward drop, "I'm sure that if you explain why you want to pick them to the person in charge, they'll understand. Sometimes they make exceptions."

In that moment Dean loved him. 

Dean knew it was a lie. Catholics were super weird about the no parent rule. He just knew that when Sammy told the guy the whole story of what Bobby or Ellen meant to him, they would figure out that they weren't actually blood. Not realizing he was doing it until he actually did it, he reached up from under the table and laid his hand on top of Castiel's. Without even blinking or looking away from Sam, Cas laid his other hand on top of Dean's and rubbed his thumb against his knuckles comfortingly. Dean looked across the table to Jess, her eyes were filled with tears and she smiled at Dean.

She saw everything, that one. 

Dean took the opportunity to do the thing he had been wanting to do for a while, but knew it had to be face to face without getting smacked. He cleared his throat and attempted to dissolve the lump forming there. "In that case, mama, would you do me the honor of being my sponsor?"

Ellen looked down at her plate. She didn't move for a second. Dean knew she was trying to keep it together. Finally, after what seemed like hours of silence, she gave up, and looked at him with love and tears streaming down her face and nodded intensely. Bobby draped an arm around her and kissed her shoulder, rubbing her arm reassuringly. 

Sam took his shot too, proposing the same offer, only to Bobby. Bobby's expression was soft, in a way Bobby's face very rarely got soft. "Of course I will, son."

Cas looked at Dean fondly and squeezed his hand a final time before Charlie came over with the food. It seemed to break the family's emotional trance, and business carried out as usual. People started talking over each other and arguing about stupid things, but laughing and joking too.

\---

On the way back to campus, Cas and Dean sat in the car in silence. The radio was playing softly, but they weren't talking. It wasn't an awkward silence though. It was more of a peaceful one. A thoughtful one.

Dean had turned onto Grayson Rd, the street where campus began before he finally spoke, his voice sounding odd breaking the silence they had both gotten used to. "I just want to say thank you, for what you did at breakfast today." His voice was quiet and calm as he spoke. "Not everybody would've known what to do in that situation, and you didn't even bat an eye. I appreciate it."

Cas said nothing, but looked deeply into Dean's eyes. He gave a look not of pity, or remorse, but of sheer understanding. A look of knowing, without a shadow of a doubt. Then, Castiel leaned over and put his palm against the ring resting on Dean's chest, keeping his eyes locked on Dean's. 

Dean almost drove off the road.

He was screwed.


	6. Have You Ever Been That Sure About Anything?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean need a little bit of a booze break. Big conversations take place.  
> Please see notes for a small warning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little emotional guys.  
> Just so you know, this chapter talks about domestic abuse. Please be aware and read with caution. I am a survivor of an abusive family member, so I know that this might be difficult to read if you went through similar circumstances. I tried to keep it concise so it isn't for very long and certainly does not take up the whole chapter.  
> <3  
> P.S. The Philadelphia Story is my favorite fucking movie. 20/10 would recommend.  
> P.P.S. This chapter has been updated. There was a lot of extra information added in this update, so make sure you've read the updated version so you're not confused later on.

Finals were coming up and Dean was all but ready to die from stress. His chemistry class had a two-hour final, his anthropology class had a two hour multiple choice and essay final, his art history class had a 10 minute presentation, and his intro to criminal justice class had a five page paper due on Friday. He had been in and out of the library in between classes all week and was running on a dangerously low amount of sleep. Instead of putting water in his thermos every day, he was now starting to substitute coffee to get himself through the day. They had one more day of religious ed left before break, which was in two hours. Dean and Charlie were sitting in a pile of their own notes at one of the tables in the back of the library when Dean slammed his head down against his keyboard in frustration.

"It's finally happened", he grumbled, "I'm finally out of juice."

Charlie didn't look up from her textbook, which she was currently highlighting. "That's not an option, dude."

"No like, really", Dean assured her, rubbing his eyes and then dropping his face in his hands. "I'm officially not retaining anything anymore. My brain space is all occupied. If I put anymore information in, other information that I've absorbed is gonna go out."

Charlie sighed and looked up at Dean. She put her highlighter down, "That's kind of a good point, man. Why don't you go home and take a shower or something before religious ed?"

Dean almost cried on the spot at the idea of just being able to stand in hot water for a while and not think about anything. He started shoving everything into his bag and rushing to get his coat on. "That is a remarkable idea, princess. This is why I love ya." He reached over and held her head in his hands and kissed her forehead.

She shoved him off with a smirk, "Tell your husband that I said hello".

Dean flipped her off. She stuck her tongue out at him. 

Dean was almost running the entire way home, so excited to wash away the anxiety and exhaustion from this hellish week of studying and preparing. He tripped over himself as he walked in the door of his room and started stripping immediately. 

\---

Dean still felt like a zombie when he walked into their religious ed classroom. He looked around to the sea of depressed and zoned out expressions of his classmates and felt a little bit better that he was not the only one suffering. He slinked up to his seat and rested his head on his desk until the rest of the crew made their way in and Cas tapped him on the shoulder. 

"Hey, sleepy" he said quietly enough into Dean's ear that only he could hear. Chills ran down his back from the smoothness of Castiel's voice at that noise level, and lifted his head up to be met with Cas smiling softly. 

"You have no idea. How do you manage to still look great this close to finals?" Dean froze. That had just slipped out of him. He hadn't even thought about it when he said it. 

Cas just chuckled, "Even when you look tired, you still look great, don't worry." Cas lifted his hand to brush back the hair that had fallen into Dean's face.

Dean swallowed hard. Cas and him had become more comfortable with one another but, it was getting harder to pretend he wasn't feeling anything for the guy. Dean was torn between being glad that they were getting along and hanging out more, and wishing that they could go back to Cas just being around him at religious ed and talking to him occasionally. Dean loved spending time with Cas and talking to him, but being able to appreciate and be interested in Cas from a far was easier and safer. Ever since that day with his family, the aching feeling of want and pining was starting to become too much. 

Dean's mouth slanted into an acknowledging half smirk before turning his head away from Castiel and looking over to Balthazar, who was sitting on the other side of his chair. Dean normally loved it when they sandwiched Dean between them so he could feel more included, but in this moment, he wished that he was sitting on the end next to Balthazar. Thankfully, Gabe was all the way on the other side of Cas so he didn't have to look over and see his mischievous glances between Dean and Cas if he didn't want to. "How is studying going for you buddy?"

Balthazar just sighed for what seemed like 2 minutes straight and then looked up at the ceiling, "Being a junior in college can eat its own ass, that's how it's going. I can't wait for us all to drink our own weight tonight."

"You said it, brother." Gabriel called over from his chair, staring out into the space ahead of him with a glazed over expression. 

Dean shuddered at the idea of alcohol even looking at him tonight, let alone actually drinking. He was way too exhausted, and way too stressed out for all of that tonight. "Oh my god, there is absolutely no way I could go out tonight. I would rather die."

Cas leaned over so his head laid on Dean's shoulder, basically collapsing on him, "Oh thank God, I was afraid I was going to have to go out with you guys."

Dean closed his eyes and winced at the intimate act. He bit his lower lip before answering, "I mean, even if I was going you could have stayed home if you wanted, Cas."

"Yeah, but then I would've looked like a pussy."

"You two still look like pussies." Gabe chimed.

"Eat me" Castiel responded, not yet lifting his head. 

Dean was trying to level his breathing when Cas asked, "Do you just wanna hang out and watch movies at the suite with me while they're out? I don't want to be in a loud and intense atmosphere tonight, but I don't want to just sit around and do nothing."

Dean rolled his eyes at himself, knowing full well what answer he should give. He should say no. He should say he needs to go home and study. But who was he kidding, of course he was going to go watch movies with Cas. "Okay, Cas."

Chuck cleared his throat at the front of his room to give the room the time to quiet down before he got started, and then he welcomed everyone as he brought up the slide show for that day. Cas lifted his head from Dean's shoulder and Dean longed for it to return.

\---

It had been a quiet walk back to Castiel's suite once they had parted ways with Baz and Gabe. The two of them had tried their hardest to convince the other two to go with them for one last hurrah before they went home for Christmas, but Cas and Dean were certain that they would rather be anywhere else but a loud and sticky party going into finals week. Gabriel left a parting gift of a wink to Dean before saying, "Behave you too" and walking off with Balthazar.

Dean shuffled his shoes as he walked, trying to think of something to say to Cas that would interrupt the silence, but Cas was just looking up at the sky with a big goofy grin spread across his face. Finally curious about what Cas was so interested in, Dean looked up too, realizing that in all of his anxiety about talking to Cas, he had missed that it started to snow. Dean felt the tension that was bubbling in his chest soar out of his body as he watched the tiny white flurry dance in the air. 

It was the first snow fall of the season. He thought about his family back home, knowing that they were all curled up in the family room watching Rudolph and drinking hot chocolate, like they do every year on the first snow fall. It made him a little sad that he wasn't there, but the memories of following through with that tradition were enough to make him feel warm and fuzzy. He looked over at Castiel, who was letting the snowflakes fall and collect on his hand as they fell into his hair. The contrast of something so white and pure against his dark and smooth hair was stunning.

"Every time I get a snowflake to fall on me I try to see if I can see the unique shape of it, but it always melts before I can see the whole thing." Cas sighed. "It's moments like this that I wish humans had microscope vision."

Dean blew air out of his nose in a laugh as he watched Castiel squint to look at the melting snow in his hands. This continued for about a minute, when Cas finally looked up to see Dean watching him fondly. "What?"

Dean just smiled, deciding for once, not to avert his eyes. "Nothing."

Dean continued to looking at Cas with a loving stare and Cas smiled a little and then looked between the ground and Dean, his face reddening, and wiped his hands off on his pants before putting one foot in front of the other again. Dean let him take a few steps of his own before Dean continued himself, still smiling at Castiel even behind his back. 

They were just about to Castiel's door when Dean got a text from Jess. He opened it to find a photo of her, Jess, and Jo wearing matching Christmas pajama pants and holding festive mugs. He laughed out loud. Jo looked unenthused as usual, Sam was squeezing and lifting Jess from behind, and Jess was laughing hysterically. They all looked adorable, and Dean slowly felt sadder and sadder that he was missing it the longer he looked at it.

"Hm?" Cas grunted, asking what Dean was laughing at without using his words as he fiddled with his keys to get the suite door open.

They walked into the common area and Dean answered, "Oh, nothing. Jess just sent me a picture of the family."

Cas threw his coat and keys down on the couch and ran over to Dean excitedly, "Ooh! I want to see!" He took the phone from Dean's hand and looked for himself. A contented and appreciative smile crawled onto his face. "Jess is very beautiful"

"Damn right she is." Dean said.

"You seem to care about her very much."

Cas was now looking at Dean with a questioning expression. I guess it made sense that he found it strange. Most people weren't completely enamored with their brother's girlfriend like Dean was. Cas didn't really get a chance to know Jess since she was one more likely to sit and observe him amongst others than to engage him on her own. Kind of like Cas, actually.

Dean cleared his throat, not sure if he Cas wanted to know everything, and decided to just provide a little bit of insight to see if he seemed interested enough for Dean to continue to the rest of it. "She just seemed to get all of us without even knowing us a full year. Her and Sam started dating about 5 months before my parents died and she was there for us from beginning to end. All of us."

"You and Sam?"

"Well yes, but Bobby and Ellen were heart broken too. They had all been friends and college, you see, and they were very dear friends." Dean explained. "And on top of it, they then had to take me and Sam in, who were in pretty rough shape."

Cas nodded slightly, taking in all that Dean had to say, looking at him in the eyes with that same knowing look that he had shown Dean in the car those weeks ago. Dean took a leap and kept talking, feeling exposed, but still safe. "Jess came over every night with dinner for us. Every night. She would go grocery shopping with Ellen, would drive Bobby to work when they had to sell Bobby's car in order to compensate for the newfound expense that Sam and I brought to the house, and she just listened. She listened to me, Sam, Jo, and everyone else in our house. Because we were all uprooted from our lives and shuffled together like a new deck of cards in a poker game for the first time. She had this way of making us all feel heard and valid without allowing us to wallow in self-pity. She just got it." Dean could feel his tears poking into his eyes, "I'll never be able to repay her for all she did for us. She's a Winchester-Singer through and through."

"What were they like?" Cas's voice was gravely with emotion, "Your parents?" Dean noticed that Cas had tears in his eyes too, not letting it get the better of him though.

Dean sniffled and laughed a little, thinking of those two. Images of his mother's long blonde hair and his father's burly figure popped into his head. The smell of his mother's iris and honey perfume and his father's cigar and peppermint smell danced across his nose and he missed them fiercely. "They were absolutely, unequivocally, in love with each other." Dean said, looking down at the ground smiling even as one tear slowly trailed down his face. "My mom was a real spit fire and never seemed to be able to keep her mouth shut, and my father was a real hot head with a lack of patience for bullshit. They were at each other's throats as often as they were wrapped around each other, that's for sure."

Dean heard Cas chuckle as Cas reached forward and clutched Dean's hand in his own. Dean's heart seemed to double in size, and he continued. "She was never afraid to tell him what was what, even though he always seemed to scare me shitless. And they laughed, like all the time. They were always pulling pranks on each other and driving each other crazy. But damn, they were in love. When I was little, I asked my mom why she chose to marry my Dad, just because I had seen my first romantic comedy and was curious about how it worked in real life."

Cas laughed again.

"And you know what she said to me?" Dean asked Cas, who was allowing his own tears to fall as he sat down on the couch across from Dean. Cas shrugged, smiling. Dean took a deep breath and managed to cough up the rest of the story, "Sh-She said she had never been more sure of anything in her life. She said she had stood there, at the end of the isle on their wedding day, and felt completely at peace. That for the first time in her life, she was absolutely certain of something, and that was John." Dean voice had broken a few times with emotion. Dean cleared his throat to shove the rest of the lump in his throat out and wiped his cheeks before looking at Cas, whose look of knowing had not shifted in the slightest.

"Wow", he whispered. He continued to look at Dean with astonishment, "Have you ever felt that sure about anything?"

Dean's heart stopped. If Cas could only know.

"I sure have", he answered looking Cas dead in the eye before looking back down at his hands, "I sure have."

\---

Dean spent the next twenty minutes recounting memories from his childhood. He told Castiel all about the time that the family went to Disney World and Sammy managed to get lost in Magic Kingdom, the time that his parents ended up sneaking Dean into a rock concert and Dean cried, and the time where Sam and Dean had snuck out of the house when Sam was only eleven and his father caught them at a high school party. The both of them were a mess of tears and giggles as Dean told these stories, and Dean felt like he was soaring. He had never talked about his parents this much with anyone, and although it was scary opening up, Cas allowed Dean to do it in a way that made Dean feel like he was protected and safe.

"I don't think I've ever felt my blood run as cold as it did the second I heard him scold my name in the middle of that party.", Dean remembered, "I'm pretty sure if I had been any drunker I would have pissed myself."

"If Sam was only eleven, that would make you, what? 14?"

"Just turned in fact."

"Even though I'm sure you were infuriated at the time, it's probably a good thing he found you when he did." Cas stated.

"Oh definitely.", Dean agreed. "I was about one beer away from passing out and Sam would have been terrified. He let me have it when we got home. I didn't know it then, but he was protecting me."

Cas sighed, "It sounds like he was a very honorable man." He smiled and squeezed Dean's shoulder as he stood up and got himself a cup of water.

Dean listened to Cas go into his room and dig around for a cup to use when he called out to him, "What about you, Cas?"

"What about me?"

"Your family, man. Gabriel is the only one I know anything about. I feel like I've gone on about mine enough times, I should know a little bit about yours." Dean responded.

Cas finally returned to his spot on the couch across from Dean and he took a deep breath. "There isn't much to tell in all honesty," Cas began, "my mother's strict and conservative, and my father is gone."

Dean's brow furrowed in confusion, "Gone as in...?"

"Well, no, he's not dead.", Cas confirmed. "More just decided he was done with us."

"Oh." Dean uttered, not ever realizing that Cas had a complicated parent history too. "I'm sorry."

Cas just shrugged and looked around anxiously for a minute before continuing. "I'm not really. Neither is Gabriel. We're honestly better off without him. He didn't do anything but make mine and my siblings' lives a misery, so."

Dean thought about what Cas was saying. He couldn't imagine not wanting his father. That being said though, he couldn't imagine having a father that would just up and leave him either. "You have other siblings?", he asked.

"Oh yeah" Cas answered, "I have three other siblings."

"Jesus Christ, dude." Dean blinked in surprise.

"Michael is he oldest, then Raphael, Gabriel, Duma, and then me. The rest of them are kind of dicks so, Gabriel and I don't really talk to them that often."

Dean chewed on the inside of his lip. Dean had been sitting here complaining about missing his parents, which he knew was still valid, but at least he had a real and loving family to look back on, and that was nothing but supportive and helpful. He couldn't imagine what it was like to have a family that didn't act like that. "Do you mind if I ask what made your father so horrible?"

Cas took a sip from his water and then looked out the window for a minute before looking at Dean, his soft and caring expression from before now rock solid and solemn. "The man couldn't seem to keep his fists to himself."

Dean wanted to puke. Dean wanted to puke and punch something. He couldn't imagine anyone putting their hands on Cas in a way that wasn't tender and soft. And Gabe? They were both too good. How could they have been hiding a past like that for that long. Dean felt horrible. 

"He spent my entire life being a violent and miserable man, and then he went and cheated on my devoted and hardworking mother with his secretary. She has broken up about a dozen marriages other than my parents'.", Cas spat. "After my mother caught the two of them, he collected his clothes from his dresser, his DVD's from the shelf, and none of us have seen him sense." 

Dean thought about that for a minute, and tried to let his anger die down before looking at Castiel again, who seemed to get angrier by the second talking about it. His whole body was tense, his stare was burning a whole in the wall, and his jaw was clenched so hard, Dean thought the bone was going to break through his skin. Cas's breath was increasing and staggering, seeming to be thinking about it more and more, when Dean disrupted that train of thought with a touch.

Cas flinched backwards some as Dean leaned across the couch to place his hand gently on Castiel's cheek. Once Cas was broken from the trance and realized it had just been Dean, Cas caught his breath and tried to soothe himself by taking another deep breath and looking Dean in the eyes. Dean's expression was kind as he looked back at Cas with all the sincerity he could muster and said, "I promise you, he is missing out."

Cas swallowed and his eyes filled with tears as he clenched his teeth and brought his hand to Dean's opposite cheek and stared for a minute. "Damn right."

Dean lurched forward and grabbed Cas into a tight hug. He ran his fingers behind his neck and clenched his fist in his shirt as he hugged him as hard as he could. He felt Cas jump a little in surprise underneath him before Cas too, fell into the hold and buried his face in Dean's neck as Dean comforted him.

\---

The two of them spent the rest of the night alternating between each other's favorite movies. Castiel insisted that Dean pick first since he was a guest, so they started with Tombstone. After that, Castiel picked The Perks of Being a Wallflower, which Dean hadn't seen before, and cried while watching. Then Dean picked Roadhouse, and Cas followed up with The Philadelphia Story. 

The Philadelphia Story was an old one. So old in fact, that it was in black and white, and came out before the end of WWII. Cas said it was a classic, but Dean hadn't seen this one either. It was about a rich woman who had been divorced but was marrying a new man, that no one in her family seemed to like. She assumed it was because he was poor, but it was actually because he could tell he didn't really love her for her. The movie completely moved Dean. He'd never seen a movie like it before. It was a beautiful commentary about what it means to really love someone instead of just idolizing them, what it meant to be vulnerable and allow yourself and others to be just that. 

The movie was almost over, and had reached it's resolution, and Dean was filled with emotion and appreciation of the movie. He was so excited by what happened in the end, he was sitting on the edge of the couch to get closer to the TV screen. He turned his head to talk to Cas, "Cas did you see that she-"

Dean was cut off by his realization that Castiel had fallen asleep some time ago. His head was pressed against Dean's side and his hair was all mushed to his forehead. Dean just smiled and looked at Cas with adoration while he breathed against Dean's ribs. Dean was so into the movie that he hadn't even felt Cas lay against him. Quietly, as not to disturb him, Dean leaned back and pushed Cas slightly forward so that Cas's head moved around to lean against his arm instead of his ribs so Dean could press himself against the back of the couch and not squish Cas. Cas squirmed a little bit at the movement but settled against his new spot against Dean's body after rubbing his face quickly and sighing against Dean's sleeve. Dean slung his arm around Cas and allowed himself to relax into the position as Cas slid a little bit so his head was now on Dean's chest. Dean looked at his watch and saw that it was 3 am. Gabe and Baz would be back soon. 

Instead of getting up and leaving, he decided to curl into the couch a bit more and close his eyes too, letting Castiel's whistling snores sooth him to sleep in their dark suite common room.


	7. Thank You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s winter break and everyone goes home for the holidays. Dean is having dinner with his family when an unexpected guest arrives at his door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is another kind of emotional chapter. Domestic abuse is discussed again. Please be aware of this and read with caution. It will be a little fluffy though, so that's good. It's also kind of a long one.  
> I just want to let you know, my semester back at college is starting again, so it's gonna be a lot longer between chapters. I'm gonna do it at often as possible, it just is going to be a little less frequent than it has been.  
> As always, enjoy!

Dean walked through the finish line of finals week on all fours and barely breathing, but he did it. Grades still wouldn't be in for another week or so, but Dean wasn't going to let it bother him too much. He knew stressing about what he may have gotten would do nothing to affect his scores at this point, so he just put the thought out of his mind. Winter break was about three weeks, and Dean was incredibly excited to go home and do nothing but relax for a little while. Well, do nothing but relax, and work at Bobby's auto shop that is. He knew he wouldn't get away with sitting on his ass the whole time. Bobby wouldn't allow it. Dean didn't necessarily mind though. He loved working on cars. He would just pop in his headphones and jam out as he worked, usually allowing himself time to think as well. 

Dean smiled as he thought about it and zipped up his now filled duffle bag before throwing it over his shoulder. Benny was still there, laying on his bed, not looking like his was going to move any time soon. Dean tapped on his shoulder and Benny opened his eyes. "Hey man, I'm gonna head out.", he mumbled.

Benny rubbed his head and smiled up at Dean politely, "Alright, brother. Have a great break."

Dean hesitated as he started to walk toward the door. There was a bright purple pair of panties that had been thrown in the corner of the room near the door. Dean scrunched up his nose in disgust and confusion as he grabbed a pen from his back pack pocket to lift them from the ground. He hadn't slept with anyone since the beginning of the semester, so he knew they weren't his responsibility. They must have been from recently, because Dean was just noticing them for the first time. How the hell did they get all the way over here? Dean turned around and walked a few steps back towards Benny's bed with the pen still holding the panties up in the air and then dropped them on his friend's head. Benny blinked his eyes open again and picked them up off of his face. 

"How long have these been on my side of the room, man?"

Benny just looked between Dean in the panties, horror creeping across his face as he came the embarrassing realization of what was happening. "Hey, I'm sorry, cher, I totally didn't realize that they had flown over there. I was so focused on keeping it quiet since you were going to be leaving so early today-"

"You did it when I was sleeping?!" Dean asked, horrified.

Benny looked up at the ceiling and then at the floor, "Well, at least you didn't wake up, right?"

Dean was so flabbergasted but he was also pretty enthused. That bastard really was that desperate for tail that he was willing to do it just feet from his sleeping roommate. That was weirdly admirable. Dean just shook his head and laughed, then threw a rolled up piece of paper from his trash can right at Benny's face as he walked out of the room. He opened the door and just before he slid behind it he called out, "Ya nasty, man. Nasty."

He could hear Benny's laugh from behind him as he shifted his duffle bag back on his shoulder and made his way down the hallway, sporting a chuckle of his own.

\---

Dean walked in the house and he was hit instantly with the smell of pine and vanilla. The family had bought the Christmas tree. 

There it sat, perfectly plump, and insanely tall. It was wrapped in the giant colored light bulbs that were popular back in the 70's that Ellen refused to throw out and several of Dean, Jo, and Sammy's childhood made ornaments. Ellen and Bobby were big believers that children decorated the tree, not adults. Because of that, there wasn't a single fancy bulb or crystal to be found on their trees. Only popsicle sticks and childhood pictures. 

Dean walked a few steps closer to place his favorite ornament in his palm and brush the sides of it with his fingertips. It was a picture frame made out of purple and green pipe cleaners that surrounded a picture of a little Dean, Jo, and Sam from when they were all under the age of 10. Dean had been about 6 years old in this one. He was wearing corduroy overalls and a baseball cap, his blond hair poking out from underneath it with a great big smile on his face. That would have made Jo 5 and Sam 4. The two of them were holding hands in front of Dean, who had his arms around both of them. 

Dean still had a vivid memory of that day. Their two families had gone to a Yankee's game together. His parents had a van at the time, so they had all fit in one car, and they sang Led Zeppelin song almost the whole way down. Dean was able to sing a little bit too, not knowing any of the actual lyrics, but remembered the melodies well enough to keep up. His dad had bought him his first soft pretzel and Dean remembered thinking that his life couldn't possibly get better than it was as he listened to his parents chant with their friends and watched everyone around him cheer with each home run. Even thinking about it now was making Dean all warm and fuzzy inside, memories of the smell of peanuts and beer entering his mind like it was yesterday. He let the ornament drop from his hand and hang down from the tree branch as it had been before he came in and ran upstairs to put his clothes back into his dresser. 

It was another few hours before anyone would be home, so Dean took this opportunity for alone time by face planting on his bed. He buried his nose deep in his pillow case, reacquainting himself with the feel and smell of his home, letting all of the exhaustion and stress from the semester dissipate from being wrapped in the comfort of his own space after so long. He was a few moments from letting himself slip into a nap when he heard his phone vibrate on his bedside table. He debated just ignoring it, but just in case it was something important he decided to reach his hand up and see what it was.

It was a text from Cas. Just the thing Dean was hoping to see. Dean felt a twinge in his stomach and he started blushing before he even read it. 

_I just saw your Christmas present on my desk. That is very kind of you, Dean._

Dean smirked and felt the blush from his cheeks continue down his neck. He got another message.

_I will be sure to let you know what patterns I am able to see next time there's snowstorm :)_

Dean's smirk transformed into a full teeth showing smile as he imagined Cas using the pocket sized magnifying glass that he had bought Cas for Christmas. He had dropped by to give his gifts to the crew the night before, but Cas was out with friends. He just put the magnifying glass on Cas's desk and a paper cut out snowflake that Dean had made just in case Cas didn't understand the gift right away. He had gotten Gabe a key chain of a cartoon middle finger, and Balthazar a plastic tiara. They were small gifts but, seeing how Dean was poor, he figured he would just get them little gifts that reflect their personality to show that he knew them. Castiel's gift especially, that gift representing a fond memory for Dean. 

Dean responded, _It was my pleasure. I can't wait to see what you find._

Cas shot back, _Have a great break, Dean. I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to see you before you left. I will miss you while you're gone, my friend._

Dean wasn't quite sure how it happened so suddenly, but Dean's breath hitched at the last message and he felt like his chest was warm. Castiel never had any problem saying kind words to him, and it made Dean feel uncomfortable but warm at the same time. Not uncomfortable as in he didn't like it. He loved it. In fact, maybe he loved it too much. He just wasn't used to someone who wasn't a family member showing him that level of affection. Dean supposed that's what made Cas special, the fact that he just said what he meant to people, without letting anyone make him feel weird about it, like Dean had so many times in the past, which kept him from allowing himself to be vulnerable with others so frequently. 

He had to get his feelings for Castiel under control while they were apart for these upcoming weeks, because it was starting to become a problem. It was starting to hurt, the longing, and Dean wasn't sure how long he could take things being like this. That being said, however, he didn't want to stop being friends with Cas, so he wasn't really sure what he was supposed to do about this. Dean rolled over to his back and lifted his pillow from underneath himself to shove it into his face and groan in frustration. 

Dean heard the door close down stairs and then looked at his phone to see what time it was. It was only 10:30 in the morning, so he didn't know who it could be. Everyone was either at work or school. He reached over to the side of his desk to the baseball that he kept there and picked it up slowly before tip toing out of his room and down the stairs. He held the bat up to his shoulder and held his breath, trying to be as quiet as possible. Whoever it was, he could hear them walking into the kitchen, and a few soft thuds. Dean continued down the stairs, his palms sweating against the wood of the bat and his breath quickening in anticipation.

When he turned into the kitchen, he found the intruder, standing with their back turned, looking through a pile of mail. They were wearing a black hoodie and jeans, with the hood pulled up over their head. Dean inched closer, his pulse quickening as he lifted the bat into swinging position. The person turned as Dean was only about half a foot away from them.

"DEAN?!" Jess gasped

Dean jumped and his heart stopped in surprise, "Jesus, Jess!", he griped, "I thought someone broke in!"

"And you didn't even bother to check who it was before you were ready to swing a bat at my head?!" Jess had a point, but Dean didn't think any of them would be here at this time. Jess was still in high school after all.

"Why aren't you in class?" Dean asked, out of breath now from the scare.

"I had a doctor's appointment today, Dean. Ellen asked me to stop by and grab a check that she left at the house to drop off to her at work on my way back from it." She pulled out the check from the mail she had been sorting threw and whacked Dean on the head with it lightly. "Good to know that you have bat up there though."

Dean sighed and leaned the bat up against the kitchen wall, "I'm sorry, dude. If I knew it was you, I would have been much less alarming about my presence."

Jess just laughed and so did Dean, and then he leaned over and gave her a hug. "I'm so glad you're home.", Jess said as she rubbed her hand across his back. 

Dean exhaled long and loud and squeezed Jess. He was glad he was home too, but he was a little bit put out about it too. His mind raced back to the text he had received a few minutes ago before he was seconds away from knocking out his brother's girl friend, his mood changing from hyperaware and ready to fight, back to the mopey and disheartened feeling he had before this whole misunderstanding.

Jess must have felt the change in his body and broke away from the hug, "Everything okay, buddy?"

Dean scrunched up his nose and shrugged, "It's nothing. Nothing I can really fix, anyway."

Jess cocked her left eyebrow and rolled her tongue over her teeth, looking at Dean like he was an idiot. She didn't buy it. "Try again."

Dean just chuckled. It was honestly on him for assuming she would accept an answer like that in the first place. 

She crossed her arms and scoffed, "I mean, I could always just tell Ellen when I drop her check off that you're acting weird and that I'm worried about you, and then you'll have her to answer to."

Dean swatted her arm lightly and gasped, "Don't even think about it, squirt."

Jess pushed his shoulder playfully, "Then cough it up, Winchester. I won't ask again."

He waited a few minutes and looked at the floor and then back at her. "It's about Cas."

Jess pursed her lips and nodded once. She looked at her watch and said, "Listen, I'll go run this over to Ellen, and then I'll come back and we'll figure it out, alright?"

"Don't you have to go back to school?" He asked.

She shrugged and replied, "This is more important", and squeezed Dean's shoulder before walking out the door.

Dean smiled. God, he loved her.

\---

Jess was only gone for about 10 minutes. When she returned she grabbed two Caprisuns and slammed herself on the couch with Dean and let him open up to her about what had been going on. He told her about the tequila, the crying, the too long glances, the dancing, the singing, the car rides, the movies, the texts, the conversations, and the snowflakes. He even told her about the Benny scare. Once he finished laying it all out for her, she smiled and leaned over to put her arm around Dean, pulling him towards her and then rubbing his arm quickly to comfort him. 

"You got it bad, huh?" she asked.

Dean nodded and sighed so hard he thought that some braincells came out. "Very unfortunately", he muttered.

"I don't even know why I asked," she started, "it was written all over your face when you brought him here. I mean, shit. I genuinely thought you were bringing home your boyfriend to meet the family until you told me that you guys were friends."

"Am I really that obvious?", he asked.

"Is water wet?"

Dean shoved her off of him with a grin, "Dick".

She chuckled a little bit and then looked at Dean with sincerity. "When he would talk, your whole face and body relaxed like you were floating. But, at the same time, you were so focused. I've never seen you concentrate so hard when someone's talking like you do with him, even when he's not talking to you. You just hang on that boys every word."

Dean felt his face blush crimson and he shoved his face in the couch cushions and whined, "I'm so toast."

"Why don't you just tell him how you feel, Dean?" Her face was sympathetic when Dean sat up to face her again.

"What on Earth tells you that a plan like that would work out in my favor?"

"Well, at least you'd finally know, regardless of how it goes."

"Yeah but then _he_ would know. Things would be different between us forever after that."

"Then I guess that's the question you have to ask yourself, Dean." Jess explained, putting her legs up on the couch and tucking them underneath herself. "Which are you more willing to live with? Are you more willing to live with things staying the way they are, leaving you unknowing and suffering, but keeping the relationship you have with him the same? Or would you prefer the possibility of rejection but finally having some clarity?"

Dean didn't know.

\---

Winter break ended up being everything that Dean needed. It felt like he lifted a 100 pound weight off his chest not having any assignments due for the first time in months and just getting to enjoy his family time as well as his time at the shop with Bobby. Sam, of course, was pissed that Dean was able to spend his break homework free and declared that it was completely unfair. Dean told Sam that he would get his time to be in college soon, he just was still paying his dues. Sam still continued to be a baby about it regardless. Jo spent the whole time asking Dean about what college was like and what she needed to prepare for. She had finally gotten her acceptance letter from Northwestern University admitting her into the journalism program, and now college was all she could think about. He even went out with her a few times to places like Bed, Bath, and Beyond on supply runs for her dorm. She was getting a much bigger head start on it than he did. Dean didn't buy a single thing for college until halfway through July. 

Their Christmas was hectic as usual. Everyone on the block stopped by the house to get a slice of Ellen's homemade pies and the house seemed more and more like an inn for about a week and a half. It was nice, though. The house was always more alive when there were more people there, and he hadn't seen a lot of the usual suspects since he had left for school in August. He finally got a chance to catch up with his friend, Ash, from high school, and had his promise to come visit him on campus sometime. By the time the holiday had ended, Dean was about two crescent rolls away from turning into one himself, and he was prepared for the new semester with lots of new clothes, movies, and books to bring back with him. 

There was only about three days left until he had to go back to school, and the family was sitting at the dining room to eat chicken parm for dinner. It was one of Dean's favorites. Ellen had decided that she was going to spend Dean's last week home before the semester started up making his favorite meals for dinner. Tomorrow night, Bobby was going to cook bacon cheeseburgers on the grill. 

"Dean, would you stop slurping your spaghetti?", Jo complained. "You're literally spraying tomato sauce on me when you do that."

Dean leaned over to Jo and slurped his spaghetti again, this time even closer to her and she slapped his shoulder in protest, "You're disgusting!"

He just started manically laughing and Sam did too before saying, "Hey Jo, wipe your right cheek, you seem to have a little something-"

"Sam I will stab you", she jutted before he could finish teasing her.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. The family stopped talking and looked at one another, looks of confusion spread across their faces. Bobby spoke up, "Anyone invite someone over?"

The family, once again, looked at each other expectantly. No one raised a hand or nodded. "I'll go see who it is, maybe Mr. Sutton needs to borrow the shovel again." Dean said, standing up and wiping the excess sauce off of his face from messing with Jo before he left the table.

"Hey if it is Mr. Sutton, tell him it's about time he shaves the creeper 'stache, I'm tired of looking at it when I see him at the garage." Sam called out.

"Yeah I'll be sure to tell him, Sam." Dean rolled his eyes and pulled the door open. His eyes widened in surprise and he blinked about 50 times, not moving or talking for a few moments.

"Who is it?" Bobby muttered the group.

"C- _Cas_?" Dean stammered, directing his words at his friend, standing in the doorway rather than answering Bobby. 

Cas looked up at Dean and Dean almost didn't recognize him. His eyes were red and puffy, and there was a small purple bruise forming just underneath his left eye, in the shape of an incredibly thin crescent moon. Cas had always been a little shorter than Dean, but Dean never thought he looked small until this moment.

"Can I come in, please?"

Dean was instantly filled with fury. Why was Cas black and blue? What the hell happened? Instead of answering, Dean just leaned forward and cupped Cas's face in his hand gently, careful not to hurt Cas further since he had gone for the side with the bruise. He traced his thumb lightly on Cas's cheek bone before he uttered, "Who did this to you?", his tone hushed. 

"Dean, what's going on over there?" Ellen called out.

Cas jumped, startled at the sound of another person's voice. "Am I interrupting?"

Dean shook his head carefully, his eyes still glued on Cas, "No, Cas, we were just eating dinner. Tell me what's going on here."

Cas started to squirm in his spot and looked around for second before laying a hand on Dean's arm and saying, "Don't worry about it, I shouldn't have come here. I'm sorry for disturbing your family's evening", and turning trying to walk off the porch. 

Dean grabbed his coat and took off after him and swung around to face Cas once he caught up. It was really fucking cold out and Dean's cheeks were already burning from the wind. Dean tried to look Castiel in the eyes but Cas refused to look up. Not playing games, Dean reached for Cas's face and lifted it to be eye level with Dean when Cas finally gave in and looked at him, his blue eyes getting even brighter when they are cushioned with tears. "You are not leaving here, until you tell me what is going on. How did you even get here?"

Cas continued to stare into Dean's eyes. "I drove. I didn't know where else to go." Castiel lived 4 hours away. His eyes were filled with desperation and emotion, and Dean fought the urge to wrap his arms around him and hold on for dear life. Dean looked behind him at what seemed to be Cas's family car, or at least the car that he leaves at home during the semester because Dean had never seen it before. It was a beat up red truck that seemed to be built in the 80's.

Dean squeezed Cas's hand, "C'mon, Cas. Let's get you inside. We can go to the back porch and talk about this, so you don't have an audience."

A single tear slid down Cas's face and he bit his bottom lip before managing to mutter, "Okay, Dean." 

Dean's face melted into an expression of compassion and he slung his arm around Cas's shoulders in an attempt to block him from the wind as he brought him inside. 

"I'm going to go grab you some food, Cas. I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere." Dean let go of his friend and charged back into the main part of the house as Castiel sat down on the couch in the back porch. It wasn't the warmest room in the house, but it sure beat being outside, and Dean didn't want Cas to feel like his family was eavesdropping. 

Dean walked up to the table and grabbed his plate, stacking more spaghetti on top of what was already there and grabbing a chicken breast from the cookie sheet in the middle of the table. As he piled the dish with the other food at the table Ellen spoke up, "What's going on, Dean?"

"I'm not sure yet. Cas seems really freaked though. He said he didn't know where else to go. I brought him into the back porch and I'm gonna go bring him this so he can tell me.", Dean gestured toward the plate he was holding. "He's forming a black eye, so this can't be good."

Jo clasped her hand on her mouth in surprise and the rest of the table looked at Dean with worried eyes. Bobby spoke. "Make sure that boy knows he can stay here as long as he wants."

Dean saluted with two fingers as he loaded the last of the food onto this plate for Cas and turned around to go back into the porch. He found Cas still sitting where Dean had left him, except now he was picking at his fingers anxiously, and his fingers were shaking. Dean placed the food down on the table out there and sat down next to Cas and placed a hand on his back. "Where's Gabriel?"

Cas continued to look at his fingers, trying to get a hang nail off of his pointer finger, "He's with Balthazar. He only lives two doors down from us. I didn't want to go there though, I don't know. I don't know why I'm here. I just got in the car and drove until I found myself here, looking at you in the doorway."

Cas finally looked back into Dean's eyes, and Dean could see the tears starting to pool up again. "Well, you're safe here, Cas. I hope you know that. You can stay as long as you want." Cas lifted the corner of his mouth into a small acknowledgement. Dean continued, "Do you want to tell me what happened or do you need a minute?"

Cas looked back at the floor and uttered quietly and flatly, "My father just showed up."

Even though Dean figured that's what happened, hearing Cas say it, especially with that must pain in his voice, felt like someone had grabbed his heart with icy fingers. Dean's hand curled into a fist and his knuckles turned white under the pressure Dean was putting on them. "Where is he now?"

Cas saw that Dean's hand was shaking with rage and he folded his own hand around Dean's in an effort to calm him, "Not at my house anymore, but it doesn't matter. You going face to face with him will do nothing."

Dean folded his lips into his mouth and created a thin line on his face as he tried to push the violent thoughts out of his head. It was a good thing that Cas lived so far away, because Dean would have probably killed the guy if he had ran into him after this. "What did he want?"

Castiel was quiet for a while. When he finally spoke, he sounded distant. "We were all just coming home from seeing my great aunt, and he was just sitting in our living room. He has a beard now. It looked nice on him. He never really had a strong jaw line so, the beard was a good choice."

Cas was still looking at the floor and was silent yet again. Dean waited patiently, not wanting to rush him. Cas started to talk again. "Apparently he's getting married. To the secretary." Cas suddenly started to chuckle, then it turned into a full blown laugh. Dean felt his heart drop as the laughing fit continued. "My father!" Cas laughed, "Getting married to the _bitch_ he slept with while he lived in our house. In _my bed.",_ he snarled. 

_Jesus._ Dean thought. 

Cas finally stopped laughing and it turned back into small chuckles, "He asked all of us if we 'would please go and support him'". Cas made finger quotes around his father's words. Cas scoffed, "Naturally, I declined, and I guess that was the wrong answer.", he mumbled and pointed to his eye. He looked up at Dean with sad and exhausted eyes. 

Dean reached out and grabbed Cas, maybe a little more aggressively than planned, and pull him into his chest and squeezed. His fists were balled up in Castiel's jacket so tight, so glad that Cas was here with him and not in his house with that asshole. He felt Cas melt underneath him and he started crying. Not just quiet tears sliding down the face crying either, like they had done around each other a few times at this point. This was as if Dean had punched down the damn that Cas had been barely keeping standing to keep his emotions in to get him here. Dean moved his hands to Cas's hair and gently ran his fingers through it softly to comfort him and shushed him calmly. "Shhh," he sighed, closing his eyes as he felt Castiel's tears dampen his shirt underneath him, "It's okay, Cas, you're here now." They sat like that in that back porch for what seemed like hours, until Cas was finally out of tears, and his breathing returned to normal. 

\---

Eventually Cas ate the dinner that Dean had brought to him, but the ended up bring it out to the main part of the house so that way they could warm it up first. Dean took Cas's coat and hung it up as Cas received hugs from the rest of the family. They were quiet at first, but welcoming all the same, not wanting to scare Cas off by overwhelming him or jumping all over him. Ellen told him that he would be staying there until they needed to go back to school. Cas tried to dispute, saying that he needed to bring the car back, but Ellen would have none of it. She assured him that Bobby and Sam would take care of it, and that she wouldn't hear anymore about it. Cas smiled a little and thanked her quietly. Jo and Sam invited Cas to come and play Mario Kart with them once he was finished eating, and after playing with them for a while, it seemed to cheer him up and bring him basically back to normal. 

Once it started to get late, Dean could tell that Cas was exhausted. He knew Cas would be too polite to say he was going to bed when everyone else was still up, but Dean knew he needed to go to bed. He stood up and walked over to Cas, putting his hand out in front of him and said, "Alright, champ, let's go get you set up upstairs."

Cas just looked at him for a second and opened his mouth to decline before Dean cut him off, "Before you even try, Cas, you're going. You went through a lot today, and you need to rest. They don't care if we go up. C'mon." Dean shook his hand again, nonverbally telling Cas to grab it. 

Cas blushed a little bit at the command of Dean's voice and grabbed his hand slowly, "Okay, Dean." Dean looked Cas in the eyes and felt his chest start to heat up and his heart start to flutter. Cas needed to stop looking at him like that. They must have stayed that way for a while, Cas's hand and gaze in Dean's, because finally Jo cleared her throat obnoxiously, which brought them out of their haze. Dean finally lifted Cas out of his chair and patted his back as Cas made his way towards the stairs. Dean turned back and looked at Jo and Sam who were both looking at him with their eyebrows raised, smugly. 

"Shut it.", Dean grumbled before following Cas upstairs to his room. He could hear the two of them snickering as he did.

When they made it to Dean's room, Dean made his bed and straightened it up to make it more comfortable with his friend. "You'll sleep here and I'm gonna be right here in the room with you in my sleeping bag," Dean explained as he leaned across his bed to tuck the blanket in against the wall. "so if you need anything during the night, I'll be right here."

Cas was quiet for a while as he watched Dean work, his expression full of adoration. Of course, Dean didn't see, because his back was turned trying to fluff the pillows, but it was happening regardless. "Thank you.", Cas finally croaked out.

Dean stopped fluffing and turned around to look at Cas, tears entering his eyes again. Dean had never seen eyes so blue before he met Cas, and Dean felt his knees turn into butter. Dean walked a few steps closer to Cas, and Cas turned toward the window trying to get his emotions back in check. Dean walked around and intercepted Cas's line of sight and stood before Cas looking down at him. Cas gnawed at his bottom lip and avoided eye contact again as another tear slipped down his cheek. A lump formed in Dean's throat and his fingers started to tingle as he guided his own hands forward to cradle Cas's face in both of his hands. Cas's breath hitched and he looked up at Dean, his eyes saying about 50 things at once. Dean's breathing started to stagger and Cas started to move his face in closer, so slowly that Dean wasn't sure it was actually happening at first. Dean felt like he was floating and having a panic attack as he began to move his face down too.

That's when Dean's door was shoved open and Cas and Dean flew apart. Cas blinked multiple times in surprise of where they had been and then looked at the floor and back at Dean. Dean almost fell over. Ellen stood at the doorway, her mouth parted slightly in her own shock before she shook her head quickly, trying to remind herself of why she had walked in in the first place. She cleared her throat and put down the laundry basket filled with folded clothes down on the floor. "I brought these up from the basement and washed them. They're Dean's old clothes. I noticed you were a little smaller than him so, I decided to bring you stuff from a few years ago so you weren't swimming." She smiled an awkward smile. She looked at Dean apologetically before pivoting on her foot and exiting, leaving Dean's door open.

"Uh, thanks mama." Dean called out to her, eyes still frozen at the doorway. He finally turned his head and blinked himself back from his swimming thoughts when he heard Cas pull his tooth brush out from the sandwich bag of toiletries he had brought with him.

Cas cleared his throat and rushed out of the room after muttering, "I'm just gonna go brush my teeth-"

"Yeah", Dean replied stupidly.

Cas walked out quickly and then Dean was standing in his room alone. The new silence of the room feeling strange as the sound of both of their quickening breaths and heart beats reentering his mind as he recalled what had just happened, or rather, didn't happen. Dean put his face in his hands and pulled down until his fingers reached his mouth and then shoved his hands through his hair. 

_Fuck._


	8. Is That a Threat, Winchester?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas is staying at the Singer's house for a few days before him and Dean need to leave to go back to school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I'm sorry this took so long to finish. As I said last time, I'm back at college, so that means I live, eat, and drink school now. I'll be sure to stop and write whenever I can though.  
> Also I just want to let everyone know who may be reading this chapter as it comes out, that I've changed a detail. Originally I had it so that confirmation was in May for the college gang, because that's usually when confirmation happens. However, I decided to change it to early March because I realized that they have way longer religious ed classes which means that they would finish their hours way quicker. I changed it in the previous chapters, but I wanted to say it here just in case the change wasn't noticed.  
> The song mentioned is "Blue World" by Mac Miller, which can be found on Spotify, and on YouTube here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_GC2wFTCAGY  
> Can you tell I'm a fan? :)  
> Enjoy!

As promised, Sam and Bobby ended up getting the address from Cas and bringing the truck back to the Novak house. Bobby just tossed the keys in the mail box on the porch, knowing that he wouldn't be able to control himself if Cas's dad ended up being in their still. They were able to stop by Balthazar's house too, where Gabriel was waiting with a bag of Castiel's clothes and toiletries so he had everything he needed to go back to school with. Bobby of course offered to bring Gabriel back with them. Gabriel declined, saying that it wasn't the first time he had to run away to Balthazar, and it wouldn't be the last. 

Ellen interrogated Cas a little bit and was able to figure out what he liked to eat in order to make his final home meals before the semester started up again. Dean's favorite meals were pushed to the side, but he didn't even noticed. He would've cooked the damn meals if that's what Cas wanted. Cas ended up asking for homemade mac and cheese one night, steak another, and on their final day before leaving for campus, Cas asked for bacon cheeseburgers. When Dean pointed out that it was also one of the meal's that he had wanted, and Cas assured him that he had asked for it so that Dean would actually get to have it. 

"You basically run to the dining hall every Thursday for burger night, I know that it had to be on your food list." Cas tilted the edge of his mouth into a small smile as he looked at Dean with a sparkle in his eye. Dean smiled back and then looked down at his plate.

Ellen came out of the kitchen and to the table with the mashed potatoes in one hand and the green beans in the other. Sam and Jo were laughing at a video of some kid bouncing himself off of a trampoline, and Bobby was working late at the shop. When everyone was seated and settled, and Sam was told to put his phone away, they all joined hands and said grace before they ate. Dean stalled a moment before putting his hand down on Cas's. It had been a few days since the incident in Dean's room, and the two of them had strategically avoided being in the same room alone for a long period of time. Of course, they certainly hadn't talked about it. Dean hadn't even had a good night sleep since. It was everything he could do not to just get up and run into Sam's room to avoid being with Cas alone. When they did talk, it was quick and meaningless things like asking Cas if he needed a drink while he was getting himself one, or to pass the salt and pepper.

This was the first time since then that he and Cas had actually talked to each other this close to normal since it had happened. Dean felt warmth start to crawl across his chest. He'd forgotten about how nice it was to talk to Cas, even though it was just one sentence. Of course, it was still a little weird but, ya know, baby steps. 

Dinner was delicious and Dean was all but 400 pounds heavier once it was time to clean up. He leaned back in his chair and rubbed his stomach in discomfort, "I think I went a little too hard on that one, gang."

He heard Cas chuckle a bit and then saw his blue eyes look behind at Dean and smile. Dean got lost in the blue for a minute before he heard Ellen break the silence, "I know an easy way for you to burn a few of the calories you just ate. Cas. Dean. You're on dish duty."

Dean threw up his hands in defiance, "What? But mama, it's my last night home!"

Ellen just lifted her eyebrow and crossed her arms.

Dean rolled his eyes and stood up, "Fine. C'mon Cas."

The two of them began to take the plates and food off of the table together and Cas leaned over to Bobby and Ellen and said, "Dinner was delicious. Thank you so much."

Ellen smiled and Bobby nodded before Cas walked out into the kitchen with Dean, his arms full of dishes.

Dean wasn't actually that mad about being on dish duty. Washing and drying dishes wasn't his favorite thing by any means, but it wasn't the worst job that could be done around the house. This chore never really made Dean complain. He was positive everyone at the table except Cas could tell that the only reason he was protesting was because that was a long time to be alone with Cas, and things still were pretty awkward. Dean knew that Ellen had to have done it on purpose, so that way things may be a little less weird when it was time for them to drive back. This was not the same though. At least in the car, Dean had the radio to rely on. 

Once he and Cas had both put down all of the food and dishes from the dining room table onto the kitchen table, Dean spoke, "If you want, I'll deal with all of the left overs and the drying. I know you don't know where any of the Tupperware is or where any of the dishes go, so I won't force you to figure it out."

Cas looked at Dean for a minute and then looked back down at the stack of plates underneath him, "That's fine, Dean.". Cas flashed a tiny smile by raising the corner of his mouth. Cas picked up the plates and started to scrape them off into the garbage can. The shrieking sound of fork on porcelain was the only sound in the air for a few moments until Dean heard the rest of the family turn on the TV two rooms over. 

It was still quiet between the two as Cas finished clearing off the plates and Dean watched him. He kept opening his mouth to start a sentence, and then pulling back. He probably did that three or four times before Cas stood up, and that's when Dean picked up the mashed potato bowl and began putting the left overs into a Tupperware container as if he hadn't been staring and attempting to break the wall. Dean was getting more and more nervous the longer they were left alone in the kitchen. This was a difficult situation. Did Cas only want to kiss Dean because he was thankful, and knew that Dean was into him? Did Cas actually want to kiss him at the time, but has decided that he doesn't actually like Dean anymore because of Dean's lack of action? Did Dean take advantage of Cas in the emotional state he was in, and now Cas was disgusted with him? He had no intention on taking advantage of Cas but, just because the intent wasn't there didn't mean it didn't happen. He just wished Cas would talk first. That way he could get a read on how Cas was feeling. Did he want to try that again? Did he just want to move on and act like it didn't happen? Maybe if he wasn't such a baby he would just ask him. He didn't want to pressure Cas though. He wanted Cas to make the first move. He wanted Cas to be in control of what happened next between them. Dean owed him that much, since he hadn't been in the position of control the past couple days. This was going to be on Cas's terms. 

Dean realized that Cas had been staring out the window as Dean finished up putting the left overs away in the fridge. He seemed incredibly lost in thought. Dean hated to interrupt him, but he didn't want to scare Cas or disrupt him even more by starting up the dishes or anything without letting him know. That's when he got an idea. 

"Hey, Cas?", Dean called out almost in a whisper, careful not to bring Cas out of his train of thought to forcefully. Cas blinked a few times, allowing himself to return back to the room and looked at Dean expectantly. "Do you mind if I hook up my speaker and we listen to some tunes?"

Cas shook his head, "Not at all".

Good. Music Dean could do. He knew exactly what to play too. Dean opened his Spotify and opened up the Mac Miller playlist that he had been building up over the past few weeks. He had always been a fan of his music, but ever since he found out that he was Cas's favorite, he had been compiling a playlist of just his favorite Mac Miller songs so that he could eventually discuss them with Cas and figure out his favorites. Even though Dean thought that he would share it with Cas when things were normal between the two of them, he didn't mind sharing earlier. He knew Cas could use the pick me up. Dean held his breath and looked over at Cas, who was turning on the water and putting the soap on the sponge, as he hit shuffle and let the first notes of the first song bleed into the kitchen. Cas turned quickly around with a smile in his eyes as he realized what was being played, and he grinned at Dean before tugging at his bottom lip with his teeth in excitement. 

Dean hadn't picked which song would come on first, but the intro to this song managed to kind of pertained to their situation, and he knew that the rest of this upbeat number was everything Cas needed to hear right now. A voice that wasn't Mac's came through singing in a melancholy voice, " _It's a bluuuuuuuue woorrrrlld, withouuuuut youuuuuuu_." Dean mouthed the words to Cas dramatically from the table, trying to make Cas laugh, and he was successful. Cas chuckled and continued to watch Dean as he moved closer to Cas. Dean hated how cheesy he felt as he thought, _It is a blue world right now without being able to talk to Cas like we used to._ It had only been three days, but Dean really missed him. The slow and heavy intro broke and the beat caught up faster. Cas was still looking back at Dean as Dean stood up and started to dance his way up to the sink beside Cas. Once he reached Cas's side, he bumped his hip against Cas's to the beat of the song, which made Cas laugh harder and loosen up a little bit. Dean saw all the tension in Cas's shoulders slowly make it's way out of his body as he started to sway to the music and mumble the music to himself as he reached for the first dish. 

Dean was happy that the first song wasn't overly sexual or romantic in nature, because he just wanted Cas to have fun, without any other possible meanings coming out. This song did that. Cas changed from swaying to moving his shoulders along as well, and Dean took the cue to use the dish towel like it was a cane in his dance number. With that, Cas lifted the faucet of the sink and turned it around so the back of it was to himself and brought it to his mouth like it was a microphone, while at the same time, cleaning off the dish that he had just washed before passing it off to Dean. The two of them continued to sing and dance as the song continued and lead to other songs on the playlist. Dean could feel his heart growing by the minute. His Cas was back. 

Cas must have gotten really into the music and stopped paying attention to what he was doing after about 15 minutes of their silly antics, because he turned to sing face to face with Dean, and completely forgot that the faucet/microphone would continue to spray water in the direction that Cas turned. Dean was showered and he flinched and shrieked higher than he would ever admit. "Ah, Cas!"

Cas's eyes widened and his mouth dropped open in a kind of smile before he moved the faucet back over to face the sink and laughed his ass off. "I'm so sorry Dean," he managed to get out between barks of loud laughter, "but that was definitely worth hearing your little mousey scream." Cas threw his head back in another fit of laughter.

Dean shook his head but couldn't help but smile while he watched Cas attempt to get ahold of himself. Dean began to chuckle too as Cas wiped his eyes. He much preferred watching Cas cry out of laughter than the alternative. It was definitely easier on Dean's heart. And his rage.

"It's fine, man.", Dean was still smirking, "Keep laughing. I'll just have to get you back when you least expect it. I bet you squeal like a pig, Novak." Dean hadn't realized that he started creeping closer to Cas's face as he spoke.

Cas didn't seem to notice either and looked at Dean with a taunting grin, tipping his chin up at Dean confidently, "Is that a threat, Winchester?"

"Definitely" Dean muttered, now close enough to Cas that Dean could hear him breathing. They paused, and Cas looked down at Dean's mouth quickly before looking back up into his eyes. Cas darted his tongue out quickly to coat his lips with moisture and Dean quickly reached his left hand down into the filling sink and splashed a huge wave onto Castiel without breaking eye contact. He smiled a giant, teeth showing, goofy grin as Cas gasped in surprise, now dripping onto the floor.

"Oh, Cas, it looks like you got something on your face there", Dean teased as he reached forward to capture a droplet rolling off of Cas's hair and onto his cheek in between his fingers. Cas's dark hair now looked even darker now that it was wet, and was matted down to his forehead, how Dean like it, weirdly. 

Cas pushed his lips into a thin line but did not manage to hide the smile spreading on his face regardless. Before Dean could even see him do it, Cas reached over and grabbed the sponge from off the counter and squished it into Dean's shirt. Dean felt the hot water slide down his chest and chills covered his forearms. Dean squeaked again and took off running to the other side of the kitchen table. Cas darted his feet to chase after Dean with the sponge in his hand, when his feet slipped on the water pooling up underneath him from Dean's splash. He hit the ground with a thud and didn't move.

"Cas?" Dean called out, running back over to his friend, who was laying on the floor, more water getting on his clothes, and then slid onto his knees to grab Cas's head, "Are you okay, champ?". Cas's face was tight in a grimace with his eyes closed like his was in pain. Dean pet his hair back from his forehead and continued, "What hurts, Cas? How can I help?"

Cas sighed and opened his eyes slowly, looking back at Dean pitifully as Dean looked down at him with worried eyes. That's when Cas lifted his arm and squeezed the sponge on top of Dean's head with a shit eating grin on his face before yelling, "HA!" and flipping Dean so that he was underneath Cas.

_Damn,_ Dean thought, _he plays dirty. A fake falling._ Being flipped so that Cas was now straddling Dean's waist and Dean could feel Cas's thighs against his own ribs must've spurred something on in Dean, because suddenly he flipped them back over, pretty aggressively and pined Cas's arms above his head, holding his wrists firmly. Cas grunted in surprise and his eyes widened, Dean's blood was running hot in his veins as he looked at Cas predatorily. He saw Cas swallow hard underneath him and Dean leant down closer to Cas and said smoothly and low, "Is that all you've got, tough guy?"

Cas's face blushed underneath him and his breath became staggered. Dean quickly licked his bottom lip to moisten it when he heard Ellen's voice.

"Boys? Did I hear someone fall in there?", she called in from the other room.

Dean could not believe this. _Again?_ He looked down at Cas who had closed his eyes and laid his head back against the floor, chuckling softly. 

Dean groaned and let go of Cas's wrists as he dramatically flopped his head down on Cas's chest in frustration. He felt Cas wrap his arm around him and pet his hair before whispering, "Go let her know we're okay.", still chuckling against his ear. 

Dean sighed before lifting his head and looking at Castiel again, who was now wearing an incredibly fond look on his face, his smile spread from ear to ear in a way that said _I can't believe this is happening again._

Dean shook his head and stood up, smiling back at Cas before he walked out of the room to talk to Ellen. After he assured her that Cas was fine after his slip, they cleaned up the floor from the mess that they had made, and finished up cleaning up the mess from dinner together. The music continued on, but the two of them agreed to actually focus this time. 

\---

It took almost no time at all for Dean and Cas to load up the car with their junk before leaving to go back to campus, but it took about 50 million years for the family to say all of their goodbyes, or at least if felt that way to Dean. 

"Now, the next time we see you two will probably be at confirmation," Ellen started, fixing the collar on Cas's shirt as she spoke, "So, make sure you guys do everything you need to do before hand. You need to get your suits ready and buy your corsages ahead of time, so that way you're all ready to go when it's time."

"Yes ma'am" Dean answered as he hugged Bobby goodbye, "I promise that we will look dashing, mama."

"Well, at least I know Castiel will. You I'll just have to pray for."

Castiel barked out a laugh and then smiled at Ellen as Dean rolled his eyes, "Thank you, ma'am." 

"Wow, Cas, I think you might be taking my spot as the favorite." Dean said, his eyebrows raised.

"Oh yeah, you wish you were the favorite." Jo yelled from the other room. 

"Shut up, will you?" Dean called back.

Cas leaned down and whispered to Ellen as she finished up spiffing him up, "Thank you for everything."

Ellen took his face in her hands and replied, "Don't call me ma'am, sweetheart. I'm officially your Mama now."

Dean looked over and saw the tears poking into Castiel's eyes at the kind remark. Ellen quickly added, "Wait, you don't call your mom, Mama, do you? I don't want to take her spot."

Cas just laughed as one tear rolled down his cheek silently. He sniffled a little. "No, I don't. I call her, Mother." He leaned back over and kissed her on the cheek. 

Ellen ran her tongue over her teeth, "Alright boys, now get out of here before you go and make me emotional.", she said, pushing Castiel out the door. Cas laughed and bellowed out one final goodbye before walking out the door and down the steps to the Impala.

Dean began to follow him with a smile on his face before he felt a hand grab onto his sleeve forcefully, pulling him back in a jerking motion. It was Bobby. He looked at Dean sternly and spoke low, so Cas and Ellen couldn't hear, "Listen to me, son. Do not let that young man get away from you."

Dean blinked a few times in surprise and opened his mouth to talk before Bobby cut him off. "It took me way to long to finally call your Mama my girl, and I don't want to watch you waste anymore time, ya hear me?"

Dean was at a complete loss for words. He let the seriousness of Bobby's words seep into him and digest in his brain before he was being pulled into a hug. Dean swallowed hard and squeezed his hands into fists before Bobby clapped his hand on Dean's back and let go. 

Dean looked at Bobby sincerely and nodded quickly, before slinging his duffle bag over his shoulder and walked down the porch steps to meet Cas in the car. He beeped a few times as he pulled away, Cas waving his hand out the window to his family with a smile. 

The two of them spent the ride jamming out to music and Dean felt more contented than he ever had before. He watched Cas as he got completely lost in the music and looked out the window as he sang at the top of his lungs, and in that moment, he wished his Mom was here to see this.

\---

When the two of them strolled up to Cas's door, Dean held onto Cas's bag as he fiddled with the keys. "I feel bad that you're carrying all of my stuff, I could've managed." Castiel said, shoving the key in the lock, "You've already done enough for me these past few days." 

The door opened and Cas turned around to grab his stuff. "It's no problem, Cas. I like helping you. You should never feel bad coming to me for help." Dean looked into Cas's deep blue eyes and they stayed like that for a minute, before Cas reached across and put a hand on Dean's cheek. 

"Thank you," he muttered, so softly that it made Dean want to cry, "Not everybody would've known what to do in that situation, and you didn't even bat an eye."

Dean couldn't believe that Cas had remembered what Dean had said to him all of those weeks ago on their way back from his house word for word like that. Dean melted on the inside and he got lost in Castiel's eyes. He moved ever so slowly towards Cas's face. He heard Cas inhale incredibly softly, so soft in fact that Dean's proximity was the only thing that allowed him to hear it.

Right when Dean was one fraction of an inch away from Castiel's lips, Cas pulled back slightly and looked Dean in the eyes, his fingers still pressed to Dean's cheek and swallowed hard before whispering, "See you at the retreat next week." He turned from Dean and grabbed his bags as he opened the door with his foot and entered his suite. Dean just stood there, drunk on the smell of Cas that had polluted the air that Dean was breathing, as he watched Cas grin wickedly before closing the door and leaving Dean out there alone. 

Dean exhaled softly and swallowed as he let his forehead land in a small thud against the door that Cas had just shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and let me know, any interest in a Cas POV chapter? I know this is third person, but it's mainly third person in what Dean sees and feels, not so much Cas. I realized that it might be interesting to see things from his point of view at this point in the story, but let me know what you think in the comments if you want! If you have an opinion on it, try and let me know soon because I would do it on the next one.  
> Thanks guys!


	9. Be Brave, Brother.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas sits down with his brother and Baz and the three of them talk about the predicament that Cas has found himself in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a Cas POV chapter. It is going to stay in third person as it has been so far, but the narrative will follow Cas's thoughts and action as it has for Dean in the past. It will go back to Dean's perspective next chapter and probably will stay that way until the end, but maybe we'll pepper in some more chapters like this in the future if it goes well!  
> This is kind of a short one, and there isn't much story progression per say, but it provides a lot of insight and character information. I'm sorry that I'm a little slow in my plot progression but, it feels more realistic to me when you get a chance to see these kinds of interactions unfold. In my experience anyway, these types of things actually end up taking this long because people can't get out of their own way. I understand though that it's frustrating to read through in a fic setting though. I appreciate your patience greatly, however, and I hope that you'll stick around to see it all unfold.  
> Enjoy, and thank you to those of you leaving comments! It means the world <3

Cas grinned at Dean wickedly as he closed his suite door, his bags in hand. Once it was shut, Cas's grin turned into a shy smile as he turned around, looked down at the ground, and slid down the door slowly until he was squatting and picturing the look he had left on Dean's face. His cheeks were getting warm as he felt a blush creep from his neck up to his face as the butterflies danced around in his stomach. Dean was so cute. No matter how casually Cas acted around Dean, he knew that Dean was the cutest boy that he had ever met in his life. Every minor expression, smile, and detail on Dean's face was like kryptonite to Cas, and it was all Cas could do to keep himself from curling himself up into Dean's chest and hanging on for dear life. 

The more Cas thought about Dean though, the more he thought about the possibility of the two of them being together. Sure, he had always fantasized about it when he was with Dean and even when he was on his own, but he hadn't actually thought about it in a real way until the almost kiss that happened in Dean's room a few nights ago. Then there was the time on the kitchen floor, and then of course, the moment that Cas had just walked away from. There was an actual possibility now, and Cas wasn't sure what to do. What if Dean just thought he was attractive and was looking for a hookup? Cas had never done anything like that before, and Cas knew that doing something like that with Dean would be catastrophic considering the actual feelings that he had for Dean. Pretending that they weren't real and allowing Dean to take him as a casual lover would be damaging to Cas, as much as he might want to give in. What if Dean just felt bad for Cas because of what had happened with his dad and so he was just going along with Cas out of fear that he would upset him more? Or, the worst possible option of them all, what if Dean actually liked Cas as Cas liked him? Cas's giddy and soft expression was now twisted into a thoughtful and confused one. He was still squatting amongst his belongings when he heard a voice call out to him from a couple feet away.

"Dude, I just saw your face go through about 15 different emotions in the 30 seconds you've been sitting there.", Gabe pointed out.

Cas sighed and put his head in his hands before he heard his brother stand up from the couch in the common area and walk towards him, his slippers shuffling loudly against the marble floor. Once he heard Gabriel stop in front of him, Cas peeked up at his older brother through his fingers and watched him give Cas an earnest and questioning look before asking, "What's going on, baby bro?"

Cas took his hands down from his eyes slowly and then pulled his arms into his chest. "It's nothing", he replied.

Gabriel arched an eyebrow and then slid down the wall next to the door to sit next to Cas, handing him a beer. Cas smiled and thanked him before opening it to take a sip when Gabe asked, "Did you finally put Dean's dick in your mouth and now you feel weird about it?"

Cas choked on his newly sipped beer and had a small coughing fit before he was able to respond. "Excuse me?!"

Gabe groaned unnecessarily loud and rolled his eyes to the ceiling, "Are you really gonna act like I haven't noticed all of this eye fucking and awkwardly romantic silences, when I'm around you two almost _always_?"

Cas sunk a little in his spot so that his eyes were the only part of his face outside of his jacket, "Am I that obvious?"

Gabriel looked back down at Cas like he was an idiot before looking out to Balthazar's door and yelling out, "Hey Baz? Do you think that Dean and Castiel have fucked yet?"

"Honestly, if Cassie hasn't dropped to his knees by now at least, that's just down right criminal. He's staying at the man's house for crying out loud." Balthazar called out from his room, obviously oblivious to Castiel's presence.

Cas just blinked in surprise as his jaw dropped open and he spun his head to glare at his brother, who was just chuckling as he made eye contact with Cas. There were about a million questions on Castiel's mind, and they were all flashing through his mind a mile a minute. Overwhelmed by all of his thoughts, the only thing he could think to say is, "Why does everyone expect that I'll be the one giving the blow jobs?"

Gabe smiled and stuck his finger out to pause the conversation before yelling out again. "What makes you think that it'll be Cassie on his knees?"

"Is that a joke?", Balthazar yelled back.

Gabriel didn't hide his laughter this time. Instead he howled out a laugh so loud that it rang across their suite as Cas threw his head down on his knees that he had now pulled up to his chest. Hearing the commotion, Balthazar came out of his room and made his way toward the two of them. "Hey, Cassie baby!", Balthazar greeted, "Did you enjoy your sexcation?"

"Would you two stop?" Cas asked, his face still in his jeans, "Nothing happened, okay? At least nothing real happened anyway."

Balthazar, who had taken his spot on the floor on the other side of Cas, reached his hand out to poke Castiel's side. Cas flinched away from him and yelped at the jolt before Balthazar sternly said, "Say what you mean by that right this second."

Cas spent the next few minutes explaining to the two of them everything that had happened over the past few days, making sure to be specific about each almost kiss incident so that he wouldn't be yelled at for withholding information later on. Baz and Gabe were practically shrieking by the end of it all, reacting to each part of the story like they were watching a movie and they were on the edge of their seats. When Cas explained the final interaction between he and Dean that took place only 15 minutes ago in front of the door, both of them threw their heads back in frustration and groaned dramatically.

"Are you fucking _kidding?_ " Balthazar asked Cas, glaring daggers.

"Dude, you've got that guy wrapped around your tiny little finger.", Gabriel snickered, "But yeah, what Baz said."

Cas sighed, "You guys don't understand. I've never done anything like this before. I don't even know if he actually likes me." Castiel looked down at this jeans and started to pick at a thread that was poking out at the knee. 

It was quiet for a minute. Confused by the uncharacteristic silence, Cas finally looked up at the other two to see them looking at each other, mouths opened slightly and faces overcome with confusion, almost like they were holding in a sneeze. Finally Gabriel spoke, "Can you fucking believe this kid?"

"I don't know, my dear friend, he's your brother.", Baz replied.

Cas rolled his eyes and then looked at Gabriel, his expression searching for answers from his older brother. Gabe put a hand on Cas's shoulder, "Honey, there is absolutely zero chance that he doesn't like you. In fact, I thought that maybe you weren't into him and you might just be getting off on teasing the poor guy because of your lack of action at this point."

"Well, and we know for a fact because Dean told us." Balthazar said casually.

Cas's eyes widened to three times their original size and Gabe just closed his eyes as his mouth folded into a thin line. After a few moments of tense silence and Cas staring at Gabe as if he had crushed one of Cas's CD's, Gabe finally opened his eyes and looked at Castiel like a child who just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "Guess the cat's out of the bag", he muttered.

"You two are _impossible_ ", Cas spat. "What the hell did he say to you?"

"Well..." Gabe started, "We more called him out on his obvious drooling over you and just didn't deny it. Then we had a few drunken conversations about it when I told him to get a fucking move on, but he still hasn't and I can't figure out why."

"In all honesty," Baz chimed in, "It's probably because he doesn't think Cas likes him. I mean damn, Cas. You're really making the poor boy work his ass off."

"But Dean actually has feelings for me?" Cas asked, his voice soft, almost like a whisper.

"One thousand percent, buddy.", Gabe replied. "It's almost nauseating how into you he is."

Cas felt like crying as his brain suddenly became filled to the brim with emotions, each of which tugging him into a different direction. Sure, it was nice to hear from someone else that Dean had feelings for him in a blatant way, when Cas has been in love with him since almost the first interaction they had, but fear and doubt were quick to follow. 

" _Damn it.",_ Cas sighed as he threw his head down again, fighting the urge to run away and never look back. 

"Wait, I'm confused.", Gabe commented, "Is this not a good thing?"

Images of his father entered his head involuntarily. All the family arguments and problems between his father and mother, memories of himself at age 10, promising to himself that he would never put himself in the position to be hurt again for the rest of his life, not for love or money, and the idea of things turning nasty between them flooded his train of thought and he felt it all squirming inside his skin. Oh, and God forbid it was Cas who broke Dean's heart in the future after all of the horrible things that Dean has been through. He didn't want to be the cause of more trauma and sadness in Dean's life. He finally spoke up, and when he did, his voice was broken and sad. "I can't."

Gabriel took a big sigh and then placed his hand on Castiel's. "You're my little brother. I've known you your whole life, so I know what you're thinking."

Castiel squeezed his eyes shut and curled into himself further. 

"You will never become, Dad. Ever. You are kind, you are thoughtful, and you have never, could never, and will never, hurt a fly." Cas opened his mouth to bring up his other points when Gabriel put a finger to his mouth and continued, "And there is no way that Dean, or anyone else that you date for that matter, would be anything like Dad either. You see everything. You pick up on everything. I mean, except for Dean dragging his tongue on the floor while he gushes after you that is." Cas smiled a little at that. "But the important stuff, you notice. I have no doubt in my mind that you will never allow yourself to be with someone like _that."_

Cas put his other hand on Gabriel's hand before he allowed Gabe to continue, "And even if things don't work out with Dean, all of that will still by true. You can't let the mistakes of our mother and the sociopathy of our father hold you back from living your life, kiddo. Because that's how the bastard wins."

Cas could feel the tears slip from his eyes as his brother spoke. Gabe leaned over and squeezed Cas's shoulder and smiled at him. That's when Baltazar leaned his head against Castiel's shoulder and squeezed in a sort of side hug. Cas looked over at him and patted his head a little before Baz sat up again and looked into Castiel's eyes, "You're far too beautiful to live your life a spinster, my sweet." Baz dragged his knuckles down Castiel's face slowly. "And if things don't work out with this chuckle head, you can always run away with me." 

Cas chuckled and pushed Balthazar's hand away teasingly before Gabe added, "Yeah, you wish you thirsty bitch."

All three of them laughed together for a while before they were finally able to calm down and breath normally again. Finally, Gabe stood up and held his hand out to Castiel before standing him up. He patted Cas on the should and said, "Be brave, brother. Tell him how you feel at God camp."


	10. This Little Light of Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's only a little more than a month left until confirmation, which means that the retreat is coming. Cas, Gabriel, Balthazar, and Dean are getting prepared for the weekend long trip with Chuck and Jesus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. I'm back from the dead. Sorry.  
> So, I realized I accidentally said that the retreat was a week long in previous chapters. I totally meant a weekend long. They're usually the whole day Friday, Saturday, and then Sunday. I went back and fixed it, but if you're reading as the chapters come out, I wanted to let you know that it was a mistake here so you weren't confused. If you see the mistake anywhere else that I missed, please let me know! This is what happens when you only work on your writing from 1-4 in the morning. We love trying to be coherent with little to no sleep.  
> The two songs mentioned in this chapter can be found here if you are unfamiliar with them and are curious. This Little Light of Mine: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKkbIZtqhyQ The Table of Plenty: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_t8O_PwPlKA. When I'm writing, to kind of put myself in the situation when I know song is playing at a certain part, I'll play the song when I read it back to immerse myself, and it always makes it more fun if you wanna try.  
> Hope you enjoy, and a tremendous thanks to those of you who take time out to comment. It really means a lot <3  
> P.S. Just a reminder that I actually went to God Camp as a teenager so, all the shit that they do here, I actually had to do with a bunch of my peers as an awkward 16 y/o (even the bus singing)

It had been a week. It felt like a month. There had been a few times that Gabriel or Balthazar had reached out to him to ask if he wanted to go out, but Dean came up with a crappy excuse every time. He was pretty sure that they were making fun of his obviously transparent ways out of seeing Cas back in the suite, but Dean couldn't allow himself to care about that. He was nervous. More nervous than he had ever been before. Usually when it came to things like this, Dean was the confident one. Dean normally had no problem making the first move or calling back with enthusiasm, but this time he hesitated big time every time he got the urge to call or text Cas. Especially since Cas had been the one to leave him hanging that day in the hallway. Maybe Cas was just messing with him for fun, and didn't actually care if nothing happened between them. 

_ He could always call me. If he was interested he would want to see me, right? I don't have to be the one to do something about it, right? _ Dean shook his head and tried to focus on the paperwork that he was in the process of filling out. It was the religious exemption form that they all had to fill out to prove that they had to miss class due to religious reasons. His professors definitely weren't happy about it, but it was illegal to deduct points from his overall grades because he needed to attend something religious apparently. He tried to ignore the eye rolls he received when he told them the first time. He got all of the work that he would miss ahead of time so that he could work on it when he got spare time during the god camp experience, which he was hoping there was enough of to keep him academically afloat. Dean began writing down the reason for absence in the provided space when his mind drifted back to Cas. _Why hasn't he tried to reach me yet? He must not be interested. He can't be. God damn it._

Dean heard the door handle jiggle behind him and his roommate enter, Chinese food balancing in his arms, and one quart of rice hanging from his mouth. Dean's head was against his desk and his eyes were closed as he wrestled with the thoughts rolling around in his mind. Benny slowly slid the Chinese food containers from his hand onto his own desk and then dropped the rice quart from his mouth before muttering, "Yeah man, it's fine. I don't need any help, I got this."

Dean didn't look up or change his position at all. He just groaned. 

Benny rolled his eyes and walked over to Dean, dropping his order of dumplings and general tso chicken next to his head before sliding a chair over to sit next to him. Dean finally picked his head up to open his food containers, eyes still sunken in from lack of sleep.

"He still hasn't tried to get a hold of you, huh?" Benny asked, watching Dean inhale his dinner. 

"What do you think?" Dean grunted, not making eye contact.

Benny sighed and rolled back over to his desk to grab his own food and then rolled back. "Maybe he's just waiting for you to make the first move too.", he suggested. "Maybe he's doing exactly what you're doing."

Dean stabbed his food with frustration, "No, I'm the one who attempted a kiss last time, and he's the one that pulled away. The ball's in his court now. I think he's just choosing to stay on the bench."

"Why don't you just ask him about it?"

Dean stopped trying to murder his dumplings with his fork and finally looked up at Benny, his eyes full of annoyance. "Why don't you just talk to Andrea? Ask her why she hasn't dropped her pants yet?"

Benny looked up from his food and rolled his tongue over his teeth, making stone cold eye contact with Dean. "Okay, dick head. Message received."

Dean raised his eyebrows, giving Benny a, _See?,_ expression before going back to his dinner. The two of them were quiet for a minute, and finally Benny spoke up again. "When are you supposed to be going on this trip with him again?"

"It's not a trip," Dean clarified, "it's a religious spiritual retreat for our confirmation course. You make it sound like a vacation.", Dean scoffed. Benny just rolled his eyes before Dean actually answered the question, "We leave tomorrow."

"Okay." Benny started, "If he doesn't say anything to you by the time you get there about it, I think it may be time to pull out the big guns."

"The big guns?" Dean's eyebrow arched up in curiosity.

"Jealousy, cher. Jealousy." Benny explained. "Find someone else there to hit on, and do it in front of him. If Castiel really likes you, he'll get all bent out of shape and weird about it. If he doesn't like you like that, he will probably just ignore it, or even worse, he'll try and be a wing man for you. Not to mention the added bonus of reminding him that you're not just gonna dote on him forever, and that there are plenty of other fish in the sea for you to catch if he doesn't get a move on."

Dean chewed on some of his pork fried rice as he thought about this. He knew it seemed petulant but, it kind of sounded like a good plan to him. It's definitely way less embarrassing than the emotional heart to heart, and possible rejection alternative. _Who knows?,_ he thought, _maybe the other person I flirt with will be into me if Cas ends up not_ _caring._ Dean swallowed his conscience and decided he was in.

\---

Dean threw his final sweatshirt into his duffel and slung it over his shoulder. He checked his phone one final time before committing to the plan that he and Benny had decided on the night before. There was still nothing from Cas. Just a text from Baz saying, "Please bring coffee for your favorite neighborhood drunk."

Dean laughed a little bit out of love for his friend, regardless of the disheartening feeling that was creeping over him at the lack of text from Castiel. Benny was already off studying with one of his friends, so he wasn't there to see Dean off, but before he left he made sure to remind him of what to look for after the flirting operation had begun. Dean took a deep breath and tried to get himself in the confident flirting zone quickly before leaving the room to get Baz his coffee. 

Dean was walking on the sidewalk leading up to the theology building when he started to see his group of people all piled up in a group outside of the Yankee Trails bus. He could see Chuck standing there with a clipboard, looking even smaller now that he was actually surrounded by the other college students instead of being isolated at the front of the lecture hall. Almost everyone there, with the exception of one or two girls, were taller than him. The fact that he had the confidence of a rabbit did not help either. Dean rounded the corner and saw the back of a dark head of hair. Even from the back, Dean could see that the hair in the front was standing in disarray as usual. Even though Dean had been trying to practice keeping it cool on his walk over, the second he caught a glimpse of that boy, the butterflies in his stomach began to tickle again. 

Before Dean got a chance to alert the group of his presence on his own, Balthazar made eye contact with him and smiled wildly. "Ah! Just the beautiful Ken doll that I wanted to see!" Baz ran a few steps to reach Dean and threw an arm around his shoulders before grabbing his coffee from Dean's hand. "Thank you for this. You are a true hero among men."

Dean looked over to Cas, who looked to be holding his breath a little at the realization that Dean had arrived. They made awkward eye contact for second before Dean cleared his throat and looked back over to Balthazar who was now burning his mouth on his coffee. "I do what I can for the for the alcoholics of America."

"What the hell? Where's my coffee?" Gabriel asked, his voice slugging out like he had just woken up from a coma.

"We can't all be brilliant enough to ask for outside help" Baz laughed.

"I'm still waiting for my brain cells to grow back, thank you." Gabriel retorted. 

Dean looked over to Cas, who was still staring at him. Dean lifted half of his mouth up into a sort of acknowledgement without smiling fully. Cas opened his mouth to say something when Chuck's voice came from the other side of the group.

"Alright, now that we have everybody, I'm going to pass out the itinerary for today.", Chuck started. Dean watched as he passed a pile of packets to one of the guys right in from of him and followed the pile with his eyes as it got passed around to everybody. "We're all gonna hop on this bus here. It'll take about 2 hours to get to the campground. When we get there, you guys are gonna go right for your cabins and drop of your stuff. After that we will be meeting under the pavilion for team building exercises and bonding. We won't be doing anything too crazy today. I don't want to overwhelm all of you."

"I'm already overwhelmed. It's not even 10 am yet, man." Gabe grumbled.

Chuck glared at Gabriel. The four of them were not used to being this close to the guy, and forgot that he could probably hear them from their spot. "I would appreciate you keeping your comments to yourself, young man."

Dean snorted and Castiel's face blushed in embarrassment. Balthazar leaned back so the four of them could hear him and whispered, "Oh fuck, we're not gonna last long guys.", when Chuck cleared his throat obnoxiously loud to get him to stop talking. He took the hint and looked around awkwardly before taking a huge gulp of coffee.

Chuck finally removed his glare from the four of them before continuing. "As I was saying, today is going to be light. I want you all to mostly just get used to one another, since we will be sharing pretty close quarters for the next few days. Hope you brought your warm clothes." The whole group groaned before loading on the bus. 

As Dean filed in the isle on the inside of the bus, he was surprised to see the layout before him. He was expecting two columns of seating and an isle in the middle, but this bus actually just had a few clusters of seats facing one another, more like the layout of a train. Dean sighed a tiny sigh of relief. The four of them would be able to sit together, and he wouldn't be stuck on an awkward journey with just Cas for two hours. They picked a cluster towards the back and Dean sat on the same side as Baz, so that Gabriel and Cas were sitting across from them. 

Cas stood up after taking his coat off in the seat, and reached up above their heads to put his backpack up in the cupboard for luggage. Dean's eyes just happened to glance over at that moment, and caught the sliver of Castiel's torso peaking out from his shirt pulling up with the high reach of his arms. Dean could see the line of dark fuzz trailing from his belly button to the waist of his dark blue jeans. Dean could feel all of the saliva leave his mouth and his mouth parted slightly. For a second he forgot to breath as he watched Castiel struggle to shove his backpack into the small space. He was standing on the highest possible point of his tiptoes and the backpack was still trying to fall down on top of him. 

Finally, after about 30 seconds of watching and trying not to drool, Dean felt a sharp kick to his shin from the other side of the table in front of him. Dean jerked back in surprise, both from the pain of the kick, and the sudden shove back into reality. He looked up to see Gabriel looking at him with his eyebrows raised and mouthing, _Help him, you perv_. Dean cleared his throat and tried, but failed, to keep his crimson blush from creeping up from his neck to his cheeks. He rose from his seat and dared to place his hand at Castiel's middle before saying sort of quietly, "Here, Cas. Let me."

Cas's cheeks went pink and he looked at Dean for a second before thanking him and stepping to the side. Dean got on his tip toes and shoved Cas's backpack into the spot without a problem. Those extra inches really helped him out. 

Dean forced himself to smile slightly at Cas before sitting back down in his seat. Cas smiled back and followed. Dean was trying really hard to be annoyed with him for not trying to get ahold of him since the last time they were together, but now that he was face to face with him, he was struggling to maintain that line of defense. Castiel's look of total innocence and sweetness was starting to crawl its way into Dean's good graces as it always did. 

Once they were all settled and the bus started moving, Gabriel started the conversation. "So, long time no see, Deano. We were starting to think you died or something."

Dean tried to chuckle off how uncomfortable he felt and act normal. "What can I say, the classes I have this semester are way more intense than the last ones."

"Yeah I'm sure." Dean felt the sarcasm radiating off of Gabriel's response. 

Cas tried to stick up for him, "No, he's right. My intro to Greek myth is really slamming me a lot harder than I was expecting it to."

Dean, who had just taken a drink from his water bottle, choked at the figure of speech. All three sets of eyes looked at him as he tried to recover, and he wanted to crawl into the floor and die.

"I was gonna say, 'that's what she said', but I think that reaction just about covers it." Balthazar commented, a huge shit eating grin on his face.

Dean dodged, "Well, I'm sorry we haven't seen a lot of each other lately, but we're about to make up for it by spending three whole days together."

Castiel scoffed, just as willing as Dean to move past the horribly awkward moment they had just experienced, "Don't forget our fearless and wimpy leader."

"Nothing quite says early February activity quite like outdoor camping" Balthazar rolled his eyes. "Our cabin better be fucking heated or I'm hopping into one of your sleeping bags for body heat."

"Welp it's probably going to have to be mine since Dean and C-" Gabriel started.

Castiel didn't even look at his brother before his elbow jammed as hard as it possibly could into Gabriel's rib cage. Dean's face was on fire. This bus ride had only been going on for 5 minutes and they've already had a handful of uncomfortable moments. How were they gonna last the full two hours? Dean realized that it was unlike Gabe to make comments that blunt about the two of them in from of Cas. He usually said those kinds of things to make Dean uncomfortable when they were alone. _Did Cas tell Gabe about what happened at the house and at school?_

Gabriel coughed a few times in an attempt to recover from the blow and Baz had tried to hide his smile and laughter by folding his lips into his own mouth and looking out the window. Dean carefully looked over at Cas, who was looking at the ceiling now, with a look on his face that said, _just kill me now._

Suddenly, as if the big man himself was watching down on this shit show of a conversation, the bus's speakers started to rumble with incredibly loud Christian rock songs. The entire bus groaned in complaint before Chuck stood at the front of the bus, looking pissed.

"Listen, you are all supposed to be here because you're ready to dedicate your life to the Catholic faith. I'm not very impressed with the attitude so far. Just keep in mind that I'm keeping tabs on you during these next few days. If I don't feel as though you've gotten what you should be out of it, I will not let you continue onto confirmation. Is that clear?"

The bus was quiet as they all collectively registered what Chuck had said. Knowing full well that he did not want to have to do this all over again, Dean decided that he was going to try his best to participate without rolling his eyes as much as he possibly could. The song switched to, "This Little Light of Mine" and Dean smiled. As lame as it was, Dean actually kind of liked this song. He thought of Ellen, and how her whole face lit up when they played this song at church. This song and "The Table of Plenty" were the songs that could make Ellen sing louder than anyone else in their parish. Dean laughed at himself for a moment, and suddenly started to lowly sing along to the song as the first few words bled through the bus.

Cas's eyes darted over to Dean's in shock. Dean looked right back at him with a smile and began to sing louder. Cas shook his head and smiled back before joining Dean in song with the radio station. The entire bus turned to look at them in silence. The music seemed to get louder, either by Chuck or the bus driver, and the two of them began on the next line, just looking at each other with smiles the size of their whole faces. " _This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine. This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine_." On the third time, Gabriel and Balthazar started to laugh and began singing too, "This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine," Balthazar stood on his chair and yelled, "EVERYBODY!" and waved his arm up to encourage them, and quickly, everyone else joined in chorus, "LET IT SHINE, LET IT SHINE, LET IT SHIIIINE."

Dean watched as Cas looked around at everyone singing with him. His deep blue eyes almost sparkling in wonder and his mouth slightly agape at the fact that the two of them had gotten them all to sing like that. Dean's heart melted at the happiness on his face before Cas looked back at him and giggled. The whole group started to clap along with the music and Dean stood up, the confidence he felt pumping through his veins from just the tiniest of happy looks from Castiel, and his sang the next line. _"Jesus is the liiiight, I'm gonna let him shine_." The rest of the bus repeated, " _JESUS IS THE LIIIIGHT, I'M GONNA LET HIM SHINE._ " They honestly sounded like a gospel choir, and a good one at that. Dean spun around on the pole in the middle of the bus and sang the next line alone, for it to be followed back by his new found back up singers, and Dean gestured to Cas playfully the whole time, with a big goofy smile on his face. As if he could ever even pretend to be into anyone else. 

Gabriel whistled loudly through his fingers as Dean basically performed for the rest of the group. Cas just continued to smile at Dean in disbelief. When the song ended, the whole bus errupted into applause. Dean bowed to Castiel first, making meaningful eye contact with him before rotating to bow to the rest of the crew on the bus. Chuck got onto the P.A.

"I appreciate your enthusiasm Mr. Winchester, but please get back in your seat so you don't hurt yourself."

"Yes sir" he answered, and bounced over back over to his seat with a giddy grin. Gabe reached across the space between them to high five Dean. "That was awesome, dude."

Balthazar laughed next to him and pulled him into a side hug, "You are such a little ham, Winchester."

"Well I know my mama would be disappointed in me if I didn't appreciate one of her favorites. Being a kiss ass is a full time job, ya know. Even when she isn't here." The four of them laughed together, and Dean's eyes eventually went back to Castiel's as the next song started. Dean must have started a trend, because the whole bus sang along to this one too. Funnily enough, it was "The Table of Plenty", as if Ellen herself was the DJ. 

Cas reached his hand underneath the table dividing them as they sang along with the group, and grabbed Dean's hand. Castiel's eyes were filled with nothing but appreciation and warmth. Dean squeezed his hand and winked back. They stayed like that for a while, holding hands under the table and looking into each other's eyes. Gabriel and Balthazar were too busy playing air guitar and dramatic fake drum solos to notice. Or maybe, they were just pretending not to notice to give them some time to appreciate the moment together. 

After a few minutes, Castiel got up from his seat to go to the bathroom, letting go of Dean's hand gently. Dean deflated a little bit, wanting it to return. That is, until Cas leaned down before him and kissed him on the cheek before descending to the back of the bus. Dean almost fell out of his chair. 


	11. Welcome to God Camp

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In order to have the group talk to people outside their circle of friends, Chuck separates everyone into groups...by counting off by fours. Castiel and Dean end up in separate groups for the whole day and Cas ends up making a few friends. Dean is too busy glaring at one of the relatively attractive ones to make any of his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For fun I did the Myers Briggs personality test for our two mains and Castiel got INFJ and Dean got ESFP in case you were wondering lol.

Thankfully, the cabin that they had to stay in was more like a weird office/apartment looking place than a log cabin. It was heated, so Balthazar wasn't going to hop anyone sleeping bag. At least, not by necessity. Who knows what that scoundrel would get up to this weekend left to his own devices. There was two bathrooms, a kitchen, and a main room where they were going to be sleeping. There was even carpeting. Chuck told them all to pick where they wanted to sleep in the room now, so that way they wouldn't be fighting over spaces later when they had all been together all day long and tired. Dean was worried for a minute that they were all going to be sleeping near Chuck, but thankfully there was a small building a few feet away that he would be staying in. Dean, Cas, Balthazar, and Gabriel all put their sleeping bags down in the corner that was furthest away from everyone else's. It was Dean's idea. He knew there was no way he'd be able to be buddy-buddy with everyone all day long and that he was gonna need some separation time in order to not kill anyone by the end of this journey.

Once everyone was all set with their sleeping bags and the rest of their belongings, they all made their way outside to the pavilion like Chuck instructed. The temperature wasn't too bad out. It was still February weather of course, but at least it wasn't snowing. It was about 45 degrees, which was pretty warm, all things considered. Dean had his navy blue Patagonia on with his black gloves, and Cas had a emerald green hoodie on. Dean looked over at him as they trudged through the slush and saw that his cheeks were pinking up from the cold. There was no way he was gonna stay warm in what he was wearing. Dean shrugged off his coat and passed it over. Castiel looked at him in confusion for a minute before Dean said, "Don't argue with me. That hoodie is not warm enough."

Castiel's face got darker, this time from blush rather than the cold, and he took the coat gingerly. "What about you? Won't you get cold?"

Dean smiled and shrugged, "I run hot." Dean winked and then continued, "plus, this Patagonia is really heavy. I can't feel a thing."

Gabriel and Baz were walking behind the two of them. "Ew. Go be a knight in shining armor somewhere else."

Dean snorted as he heard Baz respond, "The only person you have to blame for being hungover, coffeeless, and coatless is yourself, Gabriel. Don't be such a sour puss."

Dean didn't have to turn around to know that Gabe had stuck his tongue out at him. 

The whole group filed in by the pavilion slowly. All of their chatter died down when Chuck cleared his throat and began explaining how today would run. "Okay, as I said earlier, today is going to be all about bonding and team building. How are we going to be able to explore our spirituality and our personal relationships with God without being comfortable with each other right?" Chuck looked out expectantly at the group, who just stared back at him. After a couple seconds of awkward silence, Chuck finally started up again. 

"Anyways, I know a few of you have become friends by sitting together in class or you knew each other before starting the confirmation journey, so I'm actually going to have you all get into groups of 4. I will count off." Every single person groaned, including all four of the boys. Counting off will never not suck. They were all going to end up in different groups. Dean was hoping he'd get lucky and at least get Ruby or Bela in his group.

Sure enough, Dean and Cas each ended up being in a group with no one they knew, and Gabe was put in a group with Bela, and Baz was with Ruby. Baz made a pretty hilariously dramatic scene when they got separated.

"I shall not forget you, my fallen comrades. I hope we will meet again.", he sighed as he bowed and kissed each of their hands. Dean just laughed and rolled his eyes before they all parted ways towards their respective groups. As Cas walked away though, Dean squeezed his hand a little and mouthed, _have fun._ Cas smiled back and pointed to Dean and then held two fingers up. 

Dean walked over to the other three people in his group and nodded once before turning his gaze over to Castiel finding his group. There were two girls and one guy. One of the girls had dark hair and a southern accent and the other was awkward and had bangs. He heard them introduce themselves as Meg and Hannah. That's when the guy introduced himself. He was tall. Taller than Dean and built too. He looked older than the two of them, and had confidence dripping off of him. He seemed to glide into Castiel's space and look him straight in the eye as he held out his hand and said with a voice of silk, "Gadreel. Who might _you_ be?" He saw Castiel basically drool as he opened his mouth to answer. Dean felt his fists tighten.

That's when Dean heard someone clear their throat to the left of him. He quickly turned his head and blinked a few times to see the rest of his group starring at him, looking confused. Dean introduced himself. "Hi, I'm sorry I'm Dean. What are your names?"

The girl that had cleared her throat rolled her eyes. They had probably just done that and that was why she had cleared her throat to begin with, to get Dean to do the same. They all repeated their names though, and Dean had to force himself to focus this time, even though all he wanted to do was watch Cas interact with this Gadreel guy. The girl who cleared her throat's name was Amelia. She was blonde and constantly looked like she smelled something bad. The next girl's name was Pamela. She seemed cool enough. Finally, there was a girl named Tessa, who looked like she'd rather be anywhere else. After waving at each of them and going through their names a few times in his head, he looked back over at Cas, who was now laughing at something that Gadreel was saying. Gadreel was whispering it into Castiel's ear with his hand lingering on the small of his back. Cas didn't seem to realize how not innocent the act was, and was just giggling at whatever the joke seemed to be. Dean could feel his heartbeat in his ears. Wasn't he the one who was supposed to be flirting with someone?

Dean tried his best to ignore it. In all honesty, Dean had no reason to be angry. What were he and Cas even? People who almost kissed? People who held hands and cried a couple times? Cas didn't owe Dean anything and Dean knew that. His rational brain knew that anyway. His heart though, his heart was a different story. Seeing this older, clearly very attractive man slink his arm around Cas as he talked to him, was making Dean feel like there was an itch underneath his skin. He forced his attention over to Chuck in order to hear their instructions and used all of this energy to keep himself from staring over at Cas and Gadreel with an icy expression. Dean had no hostile feelings towards Cas. No, they were all directed at this guy, who needed to keeps his god damn hands to himself. 

Chuck blew a whistle incredibly loud at all of them. _Great, that's exactly what this situation needs, a whistle,_ Dean thought to himself. He looked over at Gabriel, who was still sufficiently hungover, and watched him wince before glaring at Chuck like the rest of them. Chuck continued to talk about the activities they were going to be doing in their groups. First, they were asked to do a human knot. Everyone in the group had to grab someone else's hand with one hand, and then someone else's with the other. Once everyone had done that, and they were sufficiently shuffled into a weird position, they had to unwrap themselves from one another without letting go of each other's hands. The first group to get untangled first were the winners. 

Needless to say, Dean's team did not win. Dean was not focused, and because of that, the team spent almost the whole time arguing instead of working together. Amelia's sass was not helping the situation by any means but, neither was Dean's misplaced frustration and lack of attention on the activity. He was too busy watching Cas and Gadreel giggle together and do remarkably well with the challenge to really do what he was asked. Dean's face ended up falling into Pamela's boobs on accident at one point because Tessa shoved him over while he was craning to look at Cas. His face turned scarlet as he tried to pull himself up with little to no balance as he was being pulled in multiple directions. She just smirked at him and said, "If you ever wanna go there on purpose, Sparky, just come look for my sleeping bag." Cas's team won. 

Chuck then asked that two groups merge together, to play the next set of activities, but that they stay on opposing teams. Since Cas's team was physically closest to Dean's, they joined up. Cas's face lit up when he realized that they would get to hang out together, but Dean just realized that it meant he would have to watch the two of them flirt right in front of him. He knew Cas was far too polite to suddenly be cold to Gadreel, and they were still on the same team, working against Dean's team. Fantastic. They continued to do other summer camp style games like Alaskan Baseball, trust falls, and they were now playing a game of Twister, much to Dean's displeasure. Castiel's team had kicked their asses on every game so far, and were still managing to do just that in this game too. Dean was already a competitive guy, the constant flirting and touching from Gadreel, the piercing whistle, and Chuck's reminders to send frustrated prayers up to God and Jesus were making Dean's rage bubble inside of him.

Cas was now in a back bend position, so his stomach was towards the sky and his head was hanging down and looking at Dean upside down. Even though Dean was grumpy, when Cas smiled up at him in that like a little kid, his tongue poking out a little between his teeth, Dean could feel his stomach flip. He scrunched his nose up and smiled back at Cas after a few seconds of trying to stay annoyed. Dean volunteered to be the spinner out of refusal to look like an idiot in front of Cas, who was incredibly flexible by the way, but it ended up biting him in the ass when he spun Gadreel into a position that caused him to reach his body across Cas's and ended up falling. He made it look like an accident, but Dean knew better once he saw the twinkle in the guy's eye and the way his hand snaked around to meet the small of Cas's back. 

"That's it", Dean snarled as he threw the spinner on the ground and started marching towards the cabin. He knew he must have confused the shit out of his teammates, but he didn't care. He was tired of watching this super hot guy paw Cas right in front of him. Once Dean reached the cabin, he threw the door open and slammed it behind him before shoving himself into the bathroom and sitting on the floor. He slammed that door shut too, needing the double barrier of privacy to get himself together again. Suddenly, as Dean felt the realness of what he had just done sink in, he realized that Cas might have thought that Dean was mad at _him._ That was in no way the case. Dean was starting to realize how stupid that little display had been. Castiel would have been the only one to know what Dean was angry about. Gadreel had no idea what was going on between the two of them, and hadn't been in anyway affectionate toward Cas in front of him to provide him any insight in the very short amount of time that the three of them had interacted. Dean could feel his blood start to drain from his face. Well, it was about time that Cas saw him act like an asshole, he supposed. Dean took a deep breath and stood, knowing it was about time he go back, and apologize for being a dick. He reached his hand out to grab the doorknob, when it got pulled open in front of him.

There was Cas, looking at him with giant, blue, puppy dog eyes. His hair had been ruffled up a little bit more, Dean guessed from the collision he had just witnessed, but he still looked as beautiful as ever. 

"Dean", he started, sort of out of breath, "Are you okay? You just stormed off I didn't know where you-"

Dean had no idea what hit him. He just leaned forward and took Cas's lips into his own. 

Dean could feel his face start to pink up again, the blood finally going back into his face like normal as his whole body lit up underneath him. His hands were on the sides of Cas's face, bringing him in closer to himself. Castiel seemed startled at first, but kissed back after a minute, throwing his arms around Dean's neck to hold on. Dean slithered one of his hands from Castiel's cheek into his hair, and the other down and around his waist as he continued the kiss. Cas melted underneath his touch and curled his body into Dean's.  After what felt like a small eternity, they broke apart in order to breathe again. Dean leaned back in to tap a few quick kisses against Castiel's lips, even though he was still out of breath, not able to get enough. 

Cas finally opened his eyes after a few seconds and looked up at Dean, looking shocked and aroused all at once, his pupils looking larger than they had a minute ago. His hair was now at an all new level of tossed around now that Dean's hands and been through it, and Dean had to force himself to keep his hands off for a minute. He leaned his head forward to touch his forehead against Castiel's and took a deep breath before speaking. "Sorry, that was a little abrupt. I just couldn't wait any longer."

Castiel's hand wrapped around Dean's head and his fingers curled into the hairs at the base of Dean's neck tightly. Cas still seemed a little to taken aback to speak, but his eyes said it all. He looked up at Dean through his eyelashes with a look of bewilderment and adoration before gripping his own bottom lip in between his teeth. Finally after a few minutes Cas spoke softly, his voice sounding like he just ran a marathon, "Thank you for being impatient", and smiled a shy grin.

Dean leaned in and kissed him a few more times. His breath tasted like peppermint and chocolate and Dean just wanted to pull Cas in tight and hold him. "I'm sorry I just ran in here. I hope you don't think I was mad at you. I was just so tired of watching that male model flirt with you shamelessly." Castiel looked up at him with sympathetic eyes, "It was babyish and stupid, and I'm sorry."

Castiel leaned his head back from Dean's and looked at him fondly, brushing Dean's hair away from his face and petting it backwards. Cas spoke after a few seconds just looking at Dean, "It's okay, Dean. If I'm being perfectly honest, I was tired of it too."

Dean looked at Cas with confused eyes, feeling a little bit bad about the fact that this fact cheered him up a little. Cas contined, "I was smiling and talking back to him to be polite but, his breath was horrid."

Dean was overwhelmed with appreciation for Castiel in that moment, and felt his hands move from his waist down to his thighs, and yank Cas up to throw his legs around his own waist. He was holding Cas now as he slammed his mouth against Castiel's. Cas's hands gripped onto Dean's hair as Dean stumbled backwards a little, squeezing his hands around the give of Cas's thighs. Cas opened his mouth against Dean's slightly, and Dean was quick to slide his tounge into Castiel's mouth. The kiss turned desparate, and Cas whimpered softly into Dean's mouth. Once Dean felt confident that Cas's legs were strong enough to stay around Dean's waist without the help of his hands, Dean moved his hands up onto Castiel's waist again, this time pushing Cas's clothes up a little to feel the hot skin underneath his all of the warm winter clothes. Dean wanted it all right here, right now. 

That's when the two of them heard the front door to the cabin slam open. Dean froze and so did Cas, there lips still locked, but eyes open now, looking at the bathroom door in confusion. They didn't hear anything for a minute. Dean figured it must have been someone coming in quickly to get an extra scarf or something. Dean looked back at Cas, who shrugged, and they went back at it. Dean's tongue roamed around Castiel's mouth frantically as he pushed their bodies up against one of the bathroom walls. The position now easing up a bit on Dean's upper arm strength now that he had the support of the wall to keep Cas up. Cas gasped against Dean's mouth and his hands moved down from his hair into the back of his shirt and flannel, slightly massaging the skin there. 

That's when Dean heard a loud moan. At first he thought it was Castiel, but Cas had stopped kissing him. Dean pulled back a little and opened his eys to see Cas tilting his ear up toward the door to listen for more noises coming from outside the bathroom. There was another breathy moan. Cas looked down at Dean with a surprised and confused smile, silently asking, _What the hell is going on out there?_ Dean got the message loud and clear, and carefully set Cas back on the ground before tip toeing over to the door. Dean looked over his shoulder at Cas, who was tip toeing right behind him and smiled, before putting his fingers in the air and silently counting down. He mouthed, _three, two, one,_ and opened the door slowly and quietly, hoping that whoever was out there wouldn't see them. The door was cracked ever so slightly, but they could still see what they needed to. Dean felt Cas put his hand on Dean's shoulder and peak his head under Dean's arm to look too.

There was Balthazar, pressed up against the wall with his eyes closed, moaning like he had just bitten into a juicy cheeseburger. And even better, there was Gadreel, with his face pressed up against Balthazar's chest, kissing down his torso and rubbing circles into Baz's hips gently. Dean heard Cas gasp underneath him and Dean looked down to see Cas with his jaw on the ground, chuckling a little bit in his surprise. Dean grabbed him by his shirt collar and pulled him back into the bathroom, carefully shutting the door behind them so not to disturb the interaction that they had just witnessed. 

"OH MY GOD" they scream whispered to each other at the same time, sort of jumping up and down like twelve year old girls at a slumber party. Dean smiled with his mouth wide open and pushed his hair back from his face in shock as Cas tried his hardeset to keep his snickering quiet.

"How did that even happen so fast?" Dean asked Cas as quietly as he could.

"Well, when I took off after you, I heard Chuck tell Baz's team to join up with ours to make up for our abscenses.", Cas pointed at the two of them, "And I guess Baz doesn't mind the egg smell."

Dean snorted and quickly covered his mouth as Cas's face lit up into a mischevious smile and snickered quietly with Dean. Castiel whispered again, "So that's now _two_ gay couples kissing in the cabin at a Catholic retreat?"

Dean took a deep breath and smiled before pulling Cas into him and whispering back, "Welcome to God Camp", and kissing him passionately. 


	12. Dean Winchester, the Floor is Yours.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a clumsy escape from the bathroom, Dean and Cas have a hard time keeping their hands to themselves and returning to the group. The two share a tender moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back from the dead. Sorry for the delay.  
> Hope y'all are healthy and are staying safe. Just quarantine things am I right?  
> The song mentioned can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sgm9lkTNQmc  
> Yes, this is something we really did when I was at God Camp.  
> Sorry, it's a pretty short one folks.

Dean and Cas managed to get out of the bathroom by shimming out of the window at the top of the opposite wall. Even though it was all Dean could do to keep his hands off of Castiel, hearing Balthazar and Gadreel moan was not helping set the mood for the two of them to pick up where they left off. 

Dean had made it out first. Thankfully he was able to reach a nearby tree branch to grab onto in order to guide him to the ground relatively smoothly. Cas wasn't so lucky though. He had made it through the window, and was now sitting on the sill, but his arm wasn't quite long enough to reach the branch and Dean could tell that he was starting to get a little nervous. Castiel looked around nervously, his beautiful blue eyes getting wider as his knuckles started to whiten on the sill beside his hips. 

Dean looked up at him with calm eyes and smiled in an effort to put his anxieties as ease, "It's okay, Cas, I'm right here. Just hop down, I'll catch you." Dean didn't think it was possible, but Castiel's eyes seemed to get even wider at the idea. 

Dean reached up and placed a hand around Cas's ankle in attempt to soothe him. His fingers glided along the inside of Castiel's pant leg and he rubbed his thumb against his ankle joint. "Cas," he repeated, keeping his voice low and even, "I promise. I'm already grabbing you and my feet are flat on the ground. I just need you to let go a little bit, alright baby?"

The pet name just seemed to slip out of Dean without him even thinking about it. Jesus. A few kisses and he was suddenly turning into a lovesick puppy. He hoped that Cas didn't notice or would just act like he didn't to save Dean some embarrassment. Cas closed his eyes for a minute and took a deep breath before looking down at Dean and nodding curtly. Dean smiled again and took a couple steps back, reaching his arms up to Cas and nodding reassuringly as Cas made eye contact with him. 

Cas squeezed his eyes shut and held his breath before finally jumping down from his spot on the sill. Dean was ready to grab him, and actually managed to do so, before falling backwards, Cas in his arms, due to Dean’s lack of preparation of Castiel’s weight hitting him so quickly. They were on the ground in seconds and Dean quickly sat up in fear that he has seriously hurt Cas.

“Cas, oh my god, are you okay?”

Dean looked down at the crumpled-up Cas in his lap, and realized that he was giggling like a little kid. Cas gripped onto Dean’s jacket as he laughed and it was actually pretty sweet. Relieved that they were both okay, Dean laid back down and started to laugh with Cas, feeling his chest warm up in fondness as he felt Castiel’s body shaking in giggles on top of him. Dean’s hand traveled from the small of Cas’s back up into his messy black hair and began massaging his head ever so slightly as the two of them started to calm down from the shock of the fall. Dean could feel Cas started to draw patterns on Dean’s chest with his finger though the thick material of the Patagonia. 

The two of them started to finally catch their breaths, their frenzy of giggles and laughter slowing down into small chuckles until the two of them were just breathing slowly and laying together on the cold wet ground. If he were with anyone else, Dean might have been bothered by the dampness seeping in through his clothing, but with Cas resting on him like this, Dean could find it in him to be anything but content. 

Finally, Cas picked his head of up Dean’s chest and looked down at him, his blue eyes twinkling in the bright sunlight. His fingers were still lightly tracing the lines of Dean’s jacket as Cas grinned softly and muttered so softly that Dean almost didn’t hear, “I heard you call me baby ya know”

Dean could feel his face start to warm up with embarrassment and he quickly wrapped his arms around his face to hide from Cas, who was just looking more and more beautiful by the second outside in the woods like this. It was unfair, really. Dean groaned underneath his arms and yelled out, “No you didn’t! I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

Cas bit his bottom lip into a smile and his fingers started to move tracing the labels and seams of Dean’s clothing down his chest in feathery little movements that sent a wave of chills throughout Dean’s body. “Aww,” Cas cooed, “You’re so cute when you’re embarrassed.”

Dean could feel Cas lower his torso down against Dean’s and lean into his neck before his whispered, “Don’t worry, I liked it.”, and started scattering light kisses on Dean’s jaw and shell of his ear.

Dean could feel his neck and face start to heat up as Cas moved his lips down slowly to his jaw and then down to his neck more. Dean held his breath and felt his arms move from his face down and around Castiel’s back as Cas kissed him. Dean’s hands traveled on the surface of Cas’s shirt and lightly squeezed his somewhat soft sides. Dean exhaled as Cas darted his tongue out against Dean’s rough stubble when suddenly Cas jerked back hard and let out a little squeak. 

Dean’s eyes fluttered open, confused and startled by Cas’s sudden movements. Cas had sat up completely and was now straddling Dean’s torso.

“What the hell was that noise you just made, you weirdo?” Dean asked watching as Castiel’s face got pinker and pinker in front of him. 

Cas bit his lip and looked around, avoiding eye contact. Finally, he muttered out, “I’m really ticklish, okay?”

Dean’s whole face lit up and a giant smile broke out onto his face. Oh, how the embarrassment tables have turned. 

Before Cas knew what had hit him, Dean wrapped his arms around him and flipped him over so that Cas was on the ground and Dean was hovering over him. Flashbacks of sponges and slipping slithered their way into Dean’s brain and he smiled a little at the memory. 

Castiel’s eyes were the size of the moon as he realized what was about to happen, and Dean flashed him a wicked grin just before leaning down over him and attacking him with tickles and quick sweet kisses on his cheeks and nose. 

Cas was laughing so hard it almost sounded like screeching, and maybe some of it was. He flailed around under Dean, trying to wiggle his way out of Dean’s grip while simultaneously trying to shove Dean’s hands off of him. Unfortunately for Cas, Dean was well versed in wrestling and he had a firm grip on Cas. Dean demolished Sam every time, and Cas was way smaller than his little brother. There was no way he’d get his way here. 

Dean finally started to slow down his fingers and Cas started to relax a little. Dean continued to kiss Castiel down his neck and onto his collar bone and then lifted his hand up to slide it into Cas’s hair, which was starting to mix with the leaves that were on the ground. 

Dean heard Cas gasp slightly as Dean nibbled on the spot where his neck met his shoulder, and Dean moved back up to his mouth. They kissed slowly, but deep as their tongues softly caressed the inside of each other’s mouths. Dean’s fingers clenched down on Castiel’s tangled hair and Cas made a soft noise in response. The hand that wasn’t curled around Cas’s hair slid its way down his chest and Dean slid his thumb over Castiel’s nipple, massaging it into hardness and Cas let out another slight whimper. 

Hearing Cas’s sweet little noises was doing something for Dean, his surroundings melting away, and Cas being the only thing on his mind. He went on to the corner of his mouth, then his cheek, then his ear, and then slowly took Castiel’s lobe into his mouth and bit down. 

That’s when Cas spoke, his voice shaky and breathless. “Dean”

Dean’s mouth moved further down and his tongue swirled around on the salty skin of Cas’s neck. “Mhm?”

Cas bit his lip and let out a soft moan as Dean continued to make use of his mouth on the sensitive parts of Castiel’s neck. “D-Dean we need to go back. Someone is going to be looking for us s-soon.”

Dean collapsed lightly on the beautiful boy underneath him and sighed into his chest. He knew Cas was right, and being caught by Chuck mid make out session would definitely scar both of them forever. He could feel through his jeans that Cas was really enjoying where they were going and Dean had been rocking a similar situation ever since he started to tickle Cas, but he supposed they would survive going back to the activities now. 

Dean lifted his head once more to give Cas a quick kiss on the lips and then stood up, putting his hand out to Cas to help him stand up himself. 

\---

The rest of the day seemed to go on at a glacial pace. Dean wasn’t sure if that was because the activities were incredibly boring, his group hated him immensely, or because he was doing everything he could not to march over to Cas and rip his clothes off. They continued to play stupid games and Dean’s team continued to lose, but Dean tried his best not to get too upset about that. 

About 5 minutes after Dean and Cas returned, Gadreel and Baz waltzed back over to the rest of the group as well. Gadreel still looked perfect, not a hair out of place, as if he had just gone to the bathroom or something, but Baz wasn’t so lucky. His hair was pulled in about six different directions and his face all but shouted “I just got rawed” as soon as Dean looked at him. Dean heard Cas let out a small giggle and Gabe whistled like he was catcalling Balthazar. Of course, in typical Balthazar fashion, he just smiled and blew all of them an individual kiss. 

At lunch time, Dean made it a point to go and sit with Cas and the other two. It had felt like an eternity since he had talked to Baz or Gabe, and he was dying to have conversations with people that weren’t on his team. Dean and Cas sat next to each other on the picnic table bench and ate while Gabe and Baz talked. The other two were unaware or simply didn’t feel the need to point it out, but Cas and Dean were holding hands under the table.

\---

Once it started to get dark outside, Chuck gathered everyone back together and announced that they were going to build a bonfire as one of their final team building exercise. Dean, Gabe, Baz, and Cas all let out groans of relief at the fact that the day’s forced family fun activities were almost over and got to work with the rest of the group to start putting the wood for the fire in the correct formation. 

It took them about an hour to get it all together and Gabe and Balthazar just laid down on the ground around the half way mark and just let the rest of the group do the work. Chuck definitely saw them, but didn’t seem to want to argue with them enough to say anything about it. 

Dean was basically on top of Cas the whole time, making sure he didn’t get a splinter from handling the wood to the point where Cas had to tell him to relax and kissed him on the cheek when the others weren’t looking. Dean’s face blushed up and he hoped Cas and everyone else wouldn’t notice due to the darkness. 

Once the bonfire was lit and everyone got comfortable and started roasting marshmallows, Chuck stood on one of the picnic tables and called everyone’s attention. The group turned around to face him and noticed that he was holding a guitar in his hands. 

Gabe laughed quietly and leaned into the group muttering, “Oh shit, looks like it’s kumbaya time”

“If you’re _quite_ finished with your snide remarks, Mr. Novak, I’d like to explain the next part of the evening.” Chuck glared down at all of them firmly.

“ _Shit_ ” Gabe whispered, “I have got to remember that he can actually hear us out here.”

Chuck started. “Alright everyone. First of all, I would like to congratulate you all on completing your first day of your confirmation retreat!”

The whole group burst into a sea of whoops and whistles and a few people yelling “GOD CAMP” at the top of their lungs. Chuck paused as he clapped for a moment and waited for the reaction to subside. “Before I let you all relax and dig into your smores completely, I have one more task for the night. We will do this both tonight and tomorrow night, but before I get any eyerolls, only one person has to do it each night.”

Dean took a sigh of relief, happy to hear that he could just kick his feet up for the first time today. He slung his arm around Cas’s neck and pulled him in close into a side hug as Chuck continued.

“I will call one person up tonight to pick a religious song that resonates with them on a spiritual and emotional level. They will come up here, I will play the song on the guitar, and they will sing it for the group. If you don’t know the words, don’t worry, I have a book of hymns on me for you to look at.”

Dean instantly felt nervous for the person that was going to get called up. He couldn’t imagine that level of embarrassment. Chuck was really asking a lot of the people here. Singing a song about Jesus in front of their peers? _Yikes._

Dean looked down at Cas fondly as his head leaned up against Dean’s chest. Dean smiled as he looked at Cas’s hair pressed up against his sweater when he was suddenly shocked out of his loving gaze.

“Dean Winchester, the floor is yours.”

Dean’s head snapped up and his eyes widened. He felt Cas squeeze his hand and then heard the roar of Gabe’s laughter. “W-wait what?”, Dean managed to stutter out.

“You’re up, kiddo.” Chuck clarified.

“B-but I sang on the bus. Can’t that count?” Dean pleaded

“In fact, your little display of enthusiasm is what made me choose you to go first. You’re clearly comfortable with singing and performing so, you’re the perfect choice to break the ice.” Dean just stared. Chuck continued, “I am not changing my mind, kid. So get up here.”

Dean squeezed his eyes shut and swallowed hard. He felt Cas brush his thumb across his knuckles and whispered, “You got this baby” and pushed Dean forward. He slowly made his way up to the picnic table and looked out upon the crowd staring up at him.

He finally broke the silence with a quiet “Uh…hi” and Gabriel and Balthazar started cheering and whistling. He saw Cas reach over and punch Gabe in the arm and Dean continued. 

“So you probably remember me from my High School Musical moment on the bus today”. The group all chuckled and Dean instantly started to feel better. Humor always made him less nervous. 

“What song would you like to sing for us, Dean?” Chuck asked, strumming on his guitar lightly.

Dean wracked his brain for a minute to try and think of a song that had an emotional impact on him. Most of the religious songs he knew just made him smile because they made Ellen smile or because they had a fun beat. He wasn’t sure if he could think of something that genuinely made him feel something.

That’s when all of a sudden, it hit him. The song that his Mom used to sing to him and Sam every night before bed. The song that he kept hidden in the back of his mind ever since she died. 

He cleared his throat and croaked out, “You Are Mine”, and he could already feel the knots in his chest start to tighten and his eyes start to water. 

“Beautiful choice, Dean. Do you need the lyrics out?” Chuck asked, seemingly unaware that Dean was getting emotional.

Dean shook his head. He would never forget the words. 

As the first few chords of the song flew out of Chuck’s guitar, Dean’s whole body broke out in chills and he focused all his attention on trying not to burst into tears in front of all these strangers as he sang the first few verses.

Finally, the chorus began, and all of Dean’s attempts at not getting emotional broke down and he felt his chest collapse on itself. He managed to get the words out as tears streamed down his face.

“ _Do not be afraid, I am with you. I have called you each by name. Come and follow me, I will bring you home_.”

Dean’s eyes lifted up in search of Castiel. He could feel his heart pounding a mile a minute and all he wanted was to see those big blue eyes. When he finally made eye contact with Cas, he saw that Cas too was fighting off emotion as Dean stared back at him meaningfully. Flashes of him and Cas sitting together and talking about Mary and John, holding each other in Dean’s back porch, singing and laughing together in the suite and at Adam’s house parties entered Dean’s mind, and Dean was suddenly calm. Looking into the blue pools of beauty, wisdom, and understanding he uttered out the final line of the chorus, “ _I love you and you are mine_.”

The final chords were played into the air, but Dean didn’t hear them. All he saw was Cas and Cas only. Cas’s mouth had opened slightly in shock and a single tear fell down his cheek. 

Dean wiped his face with his sleeve and looked back into Castiel’s eyes before pointing to his eye, his heart, and then back at Castiel. A communication that he witnessed his mom and dad use throughout his whole childhood. He didn’t care that everyone could see it.

Dean could swear he heard Cas gasp as quiet as a mouse as another tear fell onto his cheek. Cas pulled his bottom lip in between his teeth and sighed, his blue eyes almost looking silver with his tears surrounding them, and repeated the motion back to Dean.


	13. Did it Come Out the Way I Planned? No.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas finally get some much need alone time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehehe there's smut in this one y'all. It's been a long time coming. You are such a wonderful bunch of readers and you deserve this for sticking around for so long. Love you guys <3 please enjoy the adult content you've been waiting for (:  
> This is also a split perspective chapter. It'll flip flop between Cas and Dean's point of view.  
> Thank you to everyone who leaves comments. It really makes me smile when I get them.  
> Continue to stay safe out there and as always, enjoy <3

It took Dean a second to return to reality after the moment had with Cas. He had gotten lost in the deep blue eyes that he loved so much and didn't even remember that there were other people surrounding him. It was just him and Cas, together, loving each other. Dean's breath had caught in his throat at Castiel's return in love declaration, and Dean was almost certain that there was no way he could return to Earth after that. If he could, he'd turn pink and rocket into the sky in excitement like Peter Pan, but all he could muster up was a choked-out chuckle and smile, another tear falling from his eyes. 

Dean ended up being dragged out of his weightless feeling but Chuck clearing this throat loudly. His head snapped back at the professor, who's eyes were full of sympathy and pity. A look that he got incredibly good at deciphering after seeing it for years after his parent's deaths. "It's so heartwarming to see that a religious song can bring so much emotion out in you, Dean. It truly is touching." Chuck reached his arm out to lay his hand on Dean's shoulder. 

The emotions Dean had been experience had almost nothing to do with the religion behind the song, but Dean didn't need to clarify that. Instead Dean just pressed his lips together in a small acknowledgement and nodded curtly before looking back down at the crowd.

Castiel was gone. 

Dean quickly said thank you to everyone for listening and shook Chuck's hand before jumping off the picnic table and lightly jogging over to where Cas had been standing just moments ago. Dean swung his head around swiftly, looking to see if he had just walked over to a group of people to talk, albeit it was unusual for Cas to do something like that, but Dean wasn't sure where he possibly could of gone so fast. 

Dean instantly was filled with worry and dread that he could feel in his feet. What if Cas suddenly was panicking and didn't actually want anything to do with Dean? What if he had just completely freaked Cas out with so much emotions. JESUS CHRIST, DEAN HAD JUST TOLD HIM HE LOVED HIM. IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. Dean began to search faster.

He finally reached Gabe and Baz, grabbing both of them with an iron grip. "Where'd he go?"

Gabe just cracked a smile and Balthazar commented, "That was quite the show up there, Romeo. I got pretty choked up myself!"

Dean glared, "I don't have time for your remarks, Baz. Where did Cas go?"

Gabe snickered, "What's the matter, Ken doll? Worried you scared Cassie off?"

Dean's face darkened with crimson, both with embarrassment and internal panic. Before Dean could respond or go into a full mental breakdown, Gabe decided to actually answer with some sincerity.

"I wouldn't be too worried, pal. That was a really beautiful scene you two just shared with the class. He just walked into the tree line over there." He pointed to a stretch of woods about 10 feet away from them. Dean had to pretend that he wasn't kind of afraid to go in there. It being dark out and, in the woods, and all that. He knew that Cas was in there though, and he needed to see him and talk to him. 

"Thanks" Dean threw out to the two of them before storming off to the woods in search of Castiel.

\---

Cas had barely realized that he started to walk away from the group and towards the woods as he looked down at his wet and muddy shoes, carrying him to a place to get some air. Yes, he was already outside and technically didn't really need air, but he needed a place where he could clear his head for a moment. 

He just repeated Gabriel's words over and over again in his head, trying to convince himself that Dean was good, that they wouldn’t end up like his parents. That this was exciting and real and that Dean hadn’t been emotionally manipulating him or lying about his true feelings a few minutes ago. He wanted to take this time to be excited and giddy, like he should be, but the fears found ways to creep back into his mind. 

Had that really just happened? Did Dean just tell him that he loved him? Cas felt his hands get slippery with sweat and worry as he felt his vision start to blur. 

Even worse, had Cas really just told Dean that he loved him back? It’s not that Cas didn’t love Dean. He definitely did. He had for almost as long as he’s known Dean, but they had only just kissed a few hours ago? What if Dean was just really moved by the song and acted without thinking? This was all too much.

Cas was stomping around in between the trees violently. He couldn’t even hear the snapping of branches or the crunching of leaves underneath his shoes. All he could hear was the sound of his pulse roaring in his ears, and is second guessing thoughts bouncing off the walls in his brain. 

\---

Dean could barely see a thing. He debated taking out his phone for a flashlight, but the idea freaked him out a bit, seeing as though the person in a horror movie always dies only minutes after he takes out his flashlight. He knew it was stupid, but he figured better to be safe than sorry.

“CAS?!” He yelled out into the abyss of dark tall trees in front of him. The loud music and laughter coming from their campsite reassured Dean that there was no way anyone over there could hear him yelling. 

Dean strained to try and hear any reply coming from within the woods, but heard nothing. 

“Son of bitch, Cas.”, he muttered under his breath, “Don’t get eaten by a bear, please.”

Okay so maybe was a little bit of a fraidy-cat. Whatever.

That’s when it hit him. He stopped walking and stilled his movements completely. He wouldn’t be able to hear anything while he was tromping around. The noises of the snow, sticks, and his heavy footsteps would keep him from hearing anything lower than a yell. Dean took a deep breath as he stilled, and closed his eyes. 

There was some slight ruffling up ahead. It sounded distant, but not so distant that Dean couldn’t catch up. Dean sent up a silent prayer that it wasn’t a serial killer or a wild animal and took off in the direction of the noise. 

Dean continued to run as fast as he could, hoping that Cas wasn’t running too fast for him to catch up. It seemed to get darker as he ran, but the snapping and trudging sounds seemed to get louder. Finally, Dean turned a corner, and saw a flash of his own coat weave around a tree. 

Cas.

\---

Cas finally swung around to another side of a tree and leaned his head against the bark out of exhaustion. Castiel wasn’t much for running or exercise, and it was catching up with him now. His chest heaved as he tried to catch his breath. He almost thought he could hear a voice in the distance, but he figured that it must be coming from his racing thoughts. 

That is, until he saw Dean, standing there, breathing heavily, his eyes seemingly sparking green in the moonlight. His lips were glistening and they moved as Cas heard the muffled sound of the beautiful man’s voice. Cas blinked hard and refocused when he felt a warm calloused hand on his cheek.

“Cas?” Dean’s voice sounded concerned and soft, “Are you okay? Your face is beat red.”

Great. Dean could see how out of shape Cas really was. Cas lifted his head from resting against the trunk of the tree to turn and face Dean head on. Between shaky breaths Cas blurted out, “Did you really mean that? Did you really mean to say what you did up there?”

Cas stared at him with unwavering intensity. Dean seemed a little bit taken aback. Castiel couldn’t tell if it was because of the question or because of the searing eye contact. Dean looked at the ground underneath him, and even in the dark, Cas could see his face and ears darken with blush.

“Of course, I did, Cas.” It came out almost like a whisper. “Did it come out the way that I had planned? No.” Dean started to fidget with his fingers and kick around a stone by his feet. 

Wow. Dean was really nervous. 

He started to stutter and shift his eyes quickly from his new spot on the ground to a quick look up at Cas. “I-I really did mean it, but if you didn’t y-ya know, i-if you didn’t really mean it then, we can just act like it didn’t happen and I--”

Castiel’s chest started to warm up and a small smile spread across his face. Dean was so beautiful no matter what. He was beautiful when he was flustered, he was beautiful when he was confident. He was beautiful when he was drunk, he was beautiful when he was focused. He was beautiful when he was emotional and he was beautiful when he laughed. He was just breath takingly, _Dean_. 

Cas leaned forward and grabbed his face with both hands, crushing his lips onto Dean’s before Dean could finish his sentence. Cas felt as though his lungs were going to burst and that he could soar into space and never return. 

Cas moved his hands from Dean’s face down to his shoulders, grabbing furiously at the back of Dean’s Patagonia to pull him even closer. There was a fire under Castiel’s feet and he couldn’t get everything he wanted from Dean fast enough. Cas finally parted his lips and Dean almost immediate dove his tongue in to explore Cas’s mouth. 

If Cas could bother to be embarrassed, he might have cared that he was about 10 seconds into kissing Dean and was already to moan into his mouth, but he didn’t have it in him. All he needed was Dean. Now. 

Their lips slid together and radiated loud smacks into their surroundings and Dean grunted before walking him and Cas toward the tree once again until Cas’s back hit up against it with a thud. He could feel the heat traveling to his dick, getting more and more turned on by Dean as the seconds came and went. 

Before Cas even adjusted to the new spot, feeling his hair getting pulled into Dean’s fists, Dean moved down from Castiel’s lips down to his chin, then his jaw, and down to his neck. Cas gasped as he felt Dean’s hot slick tongue peak out to lave at his skin. 

“Dean” Cas moaned out, latching his fingers into Dean’s soft hair. He was getting breathless and he felt Dean move one of his hands down to Castiel’s right nipple, rubbing it into hardness as Cas bit down on his bottom lip. “I meant it, Dean” he whimpered, “I meant it completely. I’ve been in love with you ever sense I handed you that sign in sheet on the first day of religious ed.” Cas felt his breath catch as Dean moved his mouth down to his collar bone and nibble against the thin skin there. 

“Oh Cas—” He whispered, his hot breath skating against Castiel’s pulse point. Dean moved his head up from Castiel’s neck to look into his eyes. Cas swallowed and fought the urge to move his eyes away from the gaze of tenderness that he found himself under. He didn’t deserve the amount of fondness pouring out of Dean right now. He knew he didn’t. 

Dean reached out to Castiel’s forehead with his left hand and brushed away some of the hair that was matted to his skin there. His hand moved down to cup Castiel’s face and grazed his thumb across his cheek bone, still looking at Cas like he could really see him. Cas pointed his face down and kissed Dean’s palm and nipped at it a bit, still making eye contact with Dean. 

Suddenly Dean was pressed flat against Cas. Cas could feel the bark biting into his back as Dean pinned him down with his weight, the two of them chest to chest. That’s when he felt Dean’s right hand slide down Castiel’s chest, passed his stomach, and then finally, _finally_ , press against Castiel’s hardening cock.

Castiel groaned and tilted his head back into the tiny amount of space left between him and the tree. “Y-you’re so beautiful, Cas” Dean all but growled as he continued to rub Castiel over his jeans. Cas felt like his skin was on fire. 

Cas knew that Dean was getting hard too. He could feel it pressed against his leg and he knew that he should be doing something for Dean too, but having not done this before and not being used to pleasure like this, he was frozen and his thoughts were fuzzy. 

Dean grabbed Castiel’s hair and pulled his head back towards him and kissed him hard. Teeth came out to play a little bit as they scraped against Cas’s bottom lip furiously. Dean was groaning and grunting in such a primal way that Cas felt dizzy. He wanted to tell Dean he was beautiful too, that he was all Castiel could have dreamed of and more, but all he could manage was whimpers and gasps as Dean slid down his zipper and began to palm at his erection through his underwear. 

\---

Dean could hardly control himself from just ripping all of Castiel’s clothes off right here in the woods. He wanted to throw him down on the ground and dive into him like the ocean, ripping, pulling, sinking until all he could feel was Castiel surrounding him. Hearing the sweet noises bursting out of Cas’s beautiful mouth was about all Dean could take. 

He shoved his tongue into Castiel’s mouth ungracefully. Thankfully, Cas moaned into his mouth as a reply, clearly liking what Dean was doing, or he was just really good at faking it. Dean was starting to feel a growing wet spot in Castiel’s underwear. It was about everything he could do to not start grinding his pelvis into Cas and coming in his jeans. Dean wanted to make this about Cas though. Show Cas how much he meant it when he said he had loved him only a few minutes ago. 

Dean moved his hand as he continued to kiss Cas with all the passion in his body. He skated his fingers in a soft swift motion against his abdomen just above the band of his boxers. 

Dean let his fingers dance there for a minute as he felt Castiel shiver underneath him. That shiver going straight to Dean’s cock as Dean released Cas from his bruising kiss for just a second. Barely able to separate himself long enough and sneaking tiny chaste kisses in between words anywhere on Castiel’s face, he asked, “Is this okay?”

Dean started to kiss his cheeks, his nose, his eyelids, and Cas managed to mumble out, “Dean, please.”

Unable to wait another second with Castiel’s permission, Dean shoved his hand into Castiel’s boxers and took a hold of his hot and incredibly hard dick at the base and lowered his head to spit down onto Castiel’s dick. 

Dean normally save this kind of behavior for when he allowed himself to really get into the darker and more controlling part of his sexual preferences, but with Cas panting beautifully underneath his hand, Dean couldn’t manage to think before he acted. 

With some spit rolling down Castiel, he was able to jack him more steadily, fisting him earnestly and sucking what he was sure would turn into bruises against Castiel’s neck. Castiel was moaning and hissing like porn star and it was only making Dean impossibly harder. 

“Oh my God, Dean. This is so amazing. You’re so amazin- oh _fuck_ ”, Castiel cut off as Dean pressed his thumb against Cas’s slit and slathered his precum down his pulsing dick. 

He could tell that Cas was getting close. Dean picked up his head and saw Cas with his eyes screwed shut, his mouth agape, and his breaths labored. Dean whimpered at the sight, trying his best not to grind himself into Castiel. 

“Come on, baby. Open your eyes. I want you to look at me. I want to see your beautiful blue eyes as you come in my hand.” Dean’s voice sounded like someone else due to its lust filled and gravely tone. 

Castiel finally managed to peel his eyes open and look at Dean. His euphoria catching up to him as his mouth opened a little wider in pleasure. His dark blue irises were almost completely absorbed by his pupils and he moaned as Dean fisted his cock even harder.

That’s when it happened. Castiel Novak shut his eyes, but reached out to touch Dean’s face as he came. Dean felt the hot cum burst out and coat his hand as Cas convulsed underneath him and then cried out. Dean stroked him through it until Castiel finally came down and opened his eyes again to look at Dean. It was the most beautiful thing that Dean had ever seen.

He quickly took a bandana out of his pocket from one of the earlier activities of the day to wipe off his hand and clean Cas up. Castiel was quiet as his breathing slowed down back to its normal rhythm.

Before Dean could even open his mouth to talk to him, Cas sank to his knees in front of Dean and began to unbutton his jeans. 

Dean could barely form words as his dick jumped to attention, “H-hey Cas, you don’t have to—" 

“Sh, Dean.” Castiel said as he slipped down Dean’s zipper and looked up at Dean with sapphire eyes, “I’m gonna take care of you now.”

\---

Castiel was soaring. His heart, body, and mind were soaring in bliss and he wanted to chase this high forever. He couldn’t wait to get his hands on Dean. 

Cas’s memory zoomed back to a few days after his conversation with Baz and Gabriel. After their several cracks about Cas being the bottom and getting down on his knees for Dean, the two of them came to the realization that Castiel had never even been blown, let alone blown someone else. That train of thought then lead to a three hour “blowie training course” as Gabriel so eloquently put it, where Cas was taught all the essentials to a successful blowjob. It took a little bit of practice, but eventually Baz and Gabriel were high fiving and hugging him and showering him in praises at being a blowjob champion.

Castiel was certainly nervous, this being his first real time, but he was determined to make Dean feel as good as he had made Cas feel, even if Cas was less experienced. 

He took out Dean’s throbbing erection, feeling it pulse in his hand. It was leaking a bit at the head and Cas was already salivating just looking at it. No wonder Gabe and Baz had had that inside joke going for so long. 

He looked Dean in the eyes, remembering what Balthazar told him as he let his tongue peek out and glide along the prominent vein from tip, to base, back up to the tip. He saw Dean’s breath catch in his chest as Dean’s head fell back. Good sign. 

Next, Cas opened his mouth and started suckling at the tip. Dean’s hands immediately went to Castiel’s hair and Cas hummed. Dean touching him was everything he needed in this moment. 

After a while, Cas gathered up the saliva in his mouth and continued to move down Dean’s shaft inch by inch, swirling his tongue around and pulling up just a bit every few seconds, just to move back down again. Cas tried to move down all the way, but as soon as Dean’s cock hit the back of his throat, he felt his gag reflex start to hitch. He pulled up quickly and moved his hand to the base so Dean’s dick was covered. Cas started to bob his head as he heard Dean speak breathlessly. 

“It’s okay sweetheart, this feels amazing. Deep throating like that takes prac- AH!”

Castiel let his other hand travel to Dean’s balls, remembering that tip from Gabriel. It was very unfortunate that Cas had to think about his brother through this, although he was really grateful for the lesson. 

Dean’s balls rolled around in Cas’s hands as Cas sped up his movements, the bitter taste of precoma coating the inside of his mouth. This may only be his first time doing this, but Cas already knew that he had a taste for it. 

Castiel’s tongue swirled around as he pulled up to Dean’s tip and then back down, looking at Dean through his long eyelashes the whole time. Dean’s teeth were biting into his bottom lip so hard that Cas was expecting blood to drizzle out and suddenly Dean’s grip on Castiel’s hair tightened immensely. 

“Mnmh, _so_ good, baby.”, Dean moaned, “Fuck, Cas, _fuck_ ”

Cas sped up even more as Cas felt Dean’s balls start to clench and he knew that Dean’s orgasm was building. 

Dean had to attempt speaking a few times before it Castiel could actually understand him, “Umph, Cas, I-I’m close, honey. You’re gonna have to let go.”

Cas ignored Dean and only sucked harder. Dean yelped and gripped Castiel’s hair even tighter. Cas was determined. He could do this. He could swallow it.

Finally, Dean grunted and bit out one last obscenity before his cum started flooding Castiel’s mouth. He swallowed around his dick in a frenzy, determined to get as much of it down his throat as he could, loving the salty stickiness. He unfortunately felt some of it dribble down his chin, but he decided it was pretty good for a first time. 

Cas finally sat back after a few seconds of milking and soothing Dean back down to a normal state. He let his body fall against the tree trunk again, being thankful for something to lean on as exhaustion hit him. How come nobody ever talked about how draining all of that is?

Dean sat down and joined him, letting out a contented sigh and wrapping his arms around Castiel tightly. Cas leaned into the touch and shifted so his head could rest against Dean’s chest as Dean hugged Cas into himself. They sat there for a while in silence before Dean broke it.

“Cas?” he asked, sounding innocent and sweet.

“Yeah, baby?” Cas answered, letting his hand grab Dean’s as it rested on Castiel’s stomach. 

“Thank you for seeing me. And thank you for being you.”

Castiel felt tears creep into his eyes, knowing exactly what Dean meant by that. He curled further into Dean’s chest and inhaled his sweaty and musky scent. “It was my absolute pleasure.” 

After a decent amount of time talking, cuddling, and giggling, Dean and Castiel eventually made their way back to base camp, where they found that almost everyone had gone inside to sleep except for about five or six who were still up and listening to music and chatting together. 

Dean wrapped his arm around Castiel’s shoulder and pulled him in quickly for a peck on the side of his head before saying, “I’m gonna go in a lay down. You wiped me out, champ.” Dean reached up and ruffled Castiel’s hair. 

Cas blushed and smiled coyly. “Okay, you. I’ll be in in a minute.”

Dean began to walk away letting his hand linger and slide down Castiel’s arm and down to his hand before turning around and properly walking toward the cabin. Castiel bit his lip and chuckled as he shook his head. He had never been so happy before.

Suddenly, Castiel heard soft snickering coming from the bonfire. His head jerked up, worried that he would find two homophobic assholes laughing at him and Dean. 

But then he realized, it was just two assholes.

Gabe and Baz were beside themselves with quiet laughter as they slapped at their knees and pointed at Castiel. Cas glared at them as they both simultaneously started bobbing their tongues in and out of their cheeks with their fists going back and forth.

Castiel flipped them off and made his way toward the cabin to finally go to sleep, hearing Gabriel yell to him in the distance, “Make sure to be gentle with those overworked knees, baby brother!”


End file.
